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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas is not for adults it's just for kids

87 replies

TheAverageJoanne · 01/12/2023 07:12

Saw this on a page this morning. Allegedly
Christmas is not for us adults it's just for kids.

What do you think about this? I think it's rubbish and very upsetting for adults without partners or family.

As I'm out on my first Christmas party tonight, I say Bah Humbug to "it's just for kids".

Christians will have something to say on that point too.

Christmas is not for adults it's just for kids
OP posts:
Elphame · 01/12/2023 09:18

I would actually agree.

I don’t enjoy this time of year at all. It wasn’t much fun for me when the DC were small, just stress and hard work. Now I ignore it as much as possible. I won’t go into a shop other than Waitrose ( no piped music) until January.

Hbh17 · 01/12/2023 09:21

Christmas is for adults and children who are Christians, and believe it celebrates the birth of Jesus.
But the horrible, modern, secular version is pretty much just for kids - most adults are just waiting for January, tbh!

honeylulu · 01/12/2023 09:22

Bollocks to "only for the kids"! Christmas is for everyone who wants to partake and enjoy it. I love Christmas. I love my kids (obviously) and make it special for them but they are definitely not entitled to ALL the fun for themselves.

No one likes the smell of burning martyr.

LadyBird1973 · 01/12/2023 09:26

I think that where there are children involved, there's a responsibility to make it special for them. That feeling of Christmas being magical is such a special part of childhood and it really does stay with you forever, if your parents managed to achieve that for you.
The flip side is that it can make Christmas as an adult, feel a bit melancholy at times.

I don't think it's just for children though - it's our biggest cultural celebration and is important to most of us. Adults don't have to give up everything - we are allowed^ to have nice things too!^

Mariposista · 01/12/2023 09:33

Absolute codswallop.
And it is up to adults to teach children the true meaning of Christmas - NOT about presents and excess.
Even if you are a non believer, at the very least it should be about family time, reconnecting, giving as well as receiving.

FloppyEarsWaggyTail · 01/12/2023 09:42

Even if you are a non believer, at the very least it should be about family time, reconnecting, giving as well as receiving.

It ‘should be’ whatever you want it to be. When I was younger, for me, it was about time off work and going on holiday to get away from everyone. When I had young kids it was mainly about their excitement and all that comes with it. People need to STFU telling others what Christmas ‘should’ be, but they won’t do you have to learn to ignore them.

FloppyEarsWaggyTail · 01/12/2023 09:43

*so

Naptrappedmummy · 01/12/2023 09:45

They’re right in an objective way. Unless religious, Christmas is basically all about Santa, reindeers, elves, fake snow and lights switch-ons. Adults can participate and make the most of the season with socials and a chance for nice food/drink but the main ‘Christmassy’ things are geared around children. Before I had children Christmas was certainly less of a big deal it was just a chance to go to a few parties and have some time off work.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 01/12/2023 10:06

Ignore it. It’s just a phrase your colleagues with kids use when they want you to cover their Christmas shifts at work. 🤬

keye · 01/12/2023 10:08

The adult that wrote it clearly thinks that. You don't. It's ok for people to feel differently about things.

Elphame · 01/12/2023 10:12

Even if you are a non believer, at the very least it should be about family time, reconnecting, giving as well as receiving.

Why?

I meet my family regularly. I don’t need Christmas to do it. In fact we are having a get together next week. Nothing to do with Christmas. Christmas is actually getting in the way of that as we can’t get a restaurant reservation so I’m having to host. More work and stress for me thanks to Christmas.

Roll on January!

jay55 · 01/12/2023 10:12

Just like the memes about those of us without kids never knowing what love is. Designed to make people feel like shit. Which I really don't think is in the spirit of Christmas.

CasperGutman · 01/12/2023 10:22

YANBU. If I had to choose, I'd prioritise making sure my children had a good Christmas. But that's for selfish reasons: there's nothing I enjoy more than watching their joy. But yes, I love all the food, decorations and cosy winter evenings with fire and candles. The 'it's just for the children' brigade can fuck right off.

ETA: That's not to say that enjoying Christmas is compulsory. But to say it's only for children seems to me to imply that other adults ought not to enjoy it, or are somehow weird for doing so. I'm against this attitude precisely because people shouldn't try to make 'rules' about what others should enjoy.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 01/12/2023 10:25

Iwantmyoldnameback · 01/12/2023 07:14

I think it's for everyone but in a household with children then obviously they take priority.

Why?

Sure, you get a level of magic while kids still believe but that doesn't make it any less special for households without kids. My dc are all adults and they still love the multigenerational gathering at our house on christmas day. Not a kid in sight.

eandz13 · 01/12/2023 10:30

For myself and my family personally, Christmas is just for the kids. None of us adults could be arsed otherwise - just another day, perhaps a day with more beer, but another day all the same.

However, I do agree with you that for others that do enjoy Christmas/get in the festive spirit/Christian folk, it's for everyone, certainly not just a kids event.

ManateeFair · 01/12/2023 10:30

Oh, that post is just tedious bollocks from people who tie themselves in knots obsessing over Elf on a Shelf and 'Christmas Eve Boxes' and start taking their kids to see Santa in October and have 'Mummy 2 Jaden Luke 12-5-14 Molly Jasmine 8-2-16, my world 💖' in their Facebook bios. Ignore it.

Christmas is absolutely not 'just for kids'. People who have kids are obviously a lot more likely to focus on kid-friendly elements and activities, but I like don't even like kids and I still like Christmas. I like the decorations, the food, the cold weather, the boozing, the getting together with family, the old traditions, the magical spookiness of Christmas ghost stories and twinkling lights in the dark, the reminiscing, the playing a board game while a bit tipsy, a walk on Boxing Day before a relaxing afternoon troughing leftovers, the Christmas carols, watching The Box Of Delights.

I've never wanted kids - but I would imagine that for people who would have liked to have them but didn't/couldn't, being told that 'Christmas isn't for you' is really, really fucking hurtful.

wildwestpioneer · 01/12/2023 10:31

I think it's for family and friends

cassy16 · 02/12/2023 20:58

I agree with your overall thesis, however I voted “YABU” purely because you said you find someone’s post about how they view Christmas as “very upsetting”!

FinMcCool · 02/12/2023 21:22

No, not at all! I loved Christmas as a child, a teenager, young adult out and about, when me and my husband first met, just us two, when our sons were babies, now still they are 8 and 10 and I know I’ll still love it when they’re teenagers, young men, so me and my husband will do our own thing again, then hopefully we’ll be grandparents one day! It’s all down to personal perspective, like anything 😊

Notamum12345577 · 02/12/2023 21:35

HeraSyndulla · 01/12/2023 07:37

How offensive are you?

Show quote history

As a born again Christian, I don’t find this offensive at all!

Katy123456 · 02/12/2023 21:49

Its obviously for everyone, when you have kids in the family the kid type activities often take priority and become the focus but I've loved Christmas with kids and before I had kids.

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 02/12/2023 22:08

@cassy16 I actually didn't say that at all.

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 02/12/2023 22:12

I have enjoyed Christmas far more with my children than I ever did before.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 02/12/2023 22:17

FloppyEarsWaggyTail · 01/12/2023 09:42

Even if you are a non believer, at the very least it should be about family time, reconnecting, giving as well as receiving.

It ‘should be’ whatever you want it to be. When I was younger, for me, it was about time off work and going on holiday to get away from everyone. When I had young kids it was mainly about their excitement and all that comes with it. People need to STFU telling others what Christmas ‘should’ be, but they won’t do you have to learn to ignore them.

Exactly!!!

all these 'should' posts need to get in the bin.

pinkhousesarebest · 02/12/2023 22:34

Christmases when our dc’s were little were magical. Nothing ever after can quite replicate that and I find it now to be a poignant time. I’d like to be able to reinvent it now, but I am weighed down by the weight of my young adult childrens expectations. 😂