To be filled with panic about WFH culture becoming a thing of the past?

[themusingsofaninsomniac]

prefacing with please read the context before blanket responses 😊

I am stressing away as I tend to do lately on the same topic. I have WFH since the pandemic, with the odd day or so in the office I am lucky to have full flexibility with.

I have Autism. I also have ADHD. The combo together is quite the clusterfuck to navigate as a newly diagnosed female. Essentially the pandemic shone a light on so much and I'm so grateful that it enabled me to seek diagnosis, as much as it's an ongoing struggle.

From working remotely since the beginning I've never felt more stable and successful in my career. I was able to secure a promotion into a field I'd never have had the confidence to try in a non-remote setting in the first place, and I've been fortunate to earn a fair bit more as a result.

I feel completely at ease in my own environment and with the ability to tailor things to what works well for me. Having that commute time back has helped my wellbeing, as has having my lunch breaks in my own home. I am in a routine that I feel helps my mental health and the challenges neurodiversity brings me massively.

My current employer is great but they are the type of company that won't be around forever unfortunately. And from a lot of media and on here etc, it's becoming obvious that things are shifting to either back in the office or a hybrid with a good half your days expected in the office.

This absolutely fills me with dread. I feel like it would turn my world upside down. I'm sure people who don't relate to this will think I'm being dramatic but change and environments outside of your own control are so so hard especially once you've had several years of the opposite.

I guess I'm just wondering where this leaves me. I still have a few friends who WFH but not in my industry. I'm not sure if there would be more flexibility for me, but I also worry about how that will reflect towards my colleagues and I don't want to get anyone's back up. I guess I'm catastrophising that if I need to find another job I'll never be able to maintain what is working so well for me.

Not sure what I'm seeking here to be honest - reassurance maybe or just help to navigate this and whether it's best to be upfront with new employers from the start, or whether that might reduce my chances of being hired. I've been told I don't present as autistic, or typical ADHD but I guess the mix of both means it's a lot more blended. Either way I have generally got good feedback from interviews so it would likely not be known unless I was transparent.

I'd especially like to hear from someone in a similar boat too, if there is anyone? Probably not at twenty to one on a weekday though I imagine 😅

Thanks to anyone who has read this to the end as I know that got wordy!

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sorry for being so insensitive here moaning about something that hasn't happened yet while this is your reality, it must be really tough. I don't think it's easy to understand unless you know exactly how it feels.

Do you have a line manager or HR rep you can talk to about this? Not sure on the size of your company but larger employers also have more of a health and wellbeing type team (mine is small so doesn't), so not sure if there is someone you can speak to there?

There is special accommodations that ND people can request though I'm not too sure of the process myself and what grounds they have to limit this. Could you put together an email evidencing you have performed well remotely and get your line managers approval?

I think it's extremely poor when employers do this. It's hard enough for us to navigate the day to day in a world that isn't set up for us but even worse when there is a total lack of understanding like this.

Have you looked to see if there are any other opportunities in your industry that are more flexible? I guess you are in the same boat as me with that.

I too spend most of my days on calls either internationally or with third parties so in office days are also spent on my screen too. I might understand differently if I was in a sales job.. not that I'd never thrive in that type of industry!

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this 😞

Terrible lighting is a massive issue in offices, usually far to bright, prone to bring on migraines etc. Its certainly reasonable to have these changed somehow.

I agree too. Wfh has made a very easy life for people and they have got used to being holed up at home not mixing with people where they spend most of the rest of their time too. No wonder people have developed anxiety on an epic scale. It’s like the “Sunday scaries” on a large scale! It’s not natural to stay at home most of your time, we are social creatures. I also struggle to sympathise with people moaning that they won’t be able to get their housework & laundry done, walk their dogs, nip to the gym/supermarket/cafe during working hours as many people like myself grafted not only through the pandemic while everyone else was paid to sit at home doing nothing but also have still got to commute and cannot get all those things done while supposed to be working. I support good work/ life balance but there needs to be boundaries- the home is not for work! Rant over lol

Exactly what I have been saying. It's absolute rubbish, as all the jobs I've been seeing aren't even hybrid anymore.

I'm not sure what this post has to do with things. I know there are some businesses and industries you can't WFH for - teaching, medical professions, mechanics...

I am not in one of those industries so my job can be done perfectly well at home and currently is. And I have particular reasons for wanting to be in an environment where I am comfortable and able to do my best at my job, which for me is with the flexibility to be at home the majority of the time.

I agree - this isn't a one size fits all approach. I'm not sure there is a standard hybrid pattern that works for everyone. Two days mandatory in would be a lot for me for example, but may still be difficult for someone who lives alone and needs more social interaction for their mental health and sanity.

I think perhaps one mandatory day in, with flex to do what works for you from there would work well. And mandatory attendance at certain department meetings for example.

I feel the same, I have autism and was lucky enough to get my first job during the pandemic after years of unemployment as I can’t work in an office, so the rise in wfh enabled me to get one. currently searching for a job again because of redundancy and just there seems to be a complete lack of them now unless you’re a software developer. Hoping we see more wfh roles in the future and flex.

@Elleherd Thank you for explaining your experience. So many just don't understand the struggles faced by disabled people.

Hot desking can be rubbish but it is here to stay unfortunately. What places can do is develop better systems.

We have a desk booking system so all desks have a number and you go online, look at a plan of desks and book the one you want.

Some people don't care and turn up and take anything that us free, others who like predicability book tbe same desk up for weeks at a time.

I am in the middle and book desks each week. Sometimes I mix it up and just turn up on spec and sit somewhere I usually wouldn't.

The ability to work from home is essential for gender equality. Employers trying to push back against it are just showing that they don't really care about diversity,equity and inclusion and are more bothered about presenteeism than productivity. The gender pay gap is still enormous - in fact it's got worse - and employers HAVE to start taking gender equality seriously, which means offering flexible working.

Try not to worry about it, OP. There's a lot of huffing and puffing but progressive employers know that you can't roll the clock back on WFH if you want to be successful, and inclusion is part of achieving that.

I'm the same with my office in that it's there but totally up to me. I also agree that 100% WFH is likely not going to be a thing, and full no-office WFH is risky, and some people who just slack off and watch TV all day are likely fuelling these debates that people aren't actually working at home which can ruin it for those of us who do our best work there.

But yes everything you've described makes an office day taxing - for me I struggle with sleep and mornings quite often too so it can be quite a stressful start to the day having to be on a different schedule and subject to things outside of my control ie. Constant train delays. Also in the office the fluorescent lighting, people talking all around my desk, having to sit in different random places and actually remembering to book a desk beforehand, plus soooooo much small talk can be hard amongst other things.

I find I get so little done on office days because of all the distractions and non work conversations that end up happening. So for this to be multiple days a week would be stressful and I worry my performance would suffer.

You've hit the nail on the head here. That is exactly it. Just being able to relax in my own space and not have to mask or be how people want and expect me to be. I still feel like I mask as a more confident version of myself when I'm chairing calls for example which is draining in itself but having to do it for entire days is exhausting.

Yep I agree. ‘I’ve done all my socialising and pub nights and have settled down, so I’m happy for everyone else to sit alone at home all day so I can too’.

Thank you for this. I have a supportive partner I guess but he struggles to fully understand sometimes. I'm not sure if he is also ND but he seems to cope better and be "higher functioning" (as much as I hate that term) than myself.

In terms of actual support from a professional level I don't have anything in place. CBT hasn't helped because I think it is still neurotypical focused so doesn't always work the same. I'm trying to locate a therapist with experience with Autism and ADHD but it's challenging and often times I've found people are more focused on one condition than the other and also I don't present as classic one or the other but a mix of the two.

Change is very very hard for me which I know is a problem for everyone in my shoes too. It can send me spiralling if I let it but I am trying to learn better coping mechanisms. Outside stressors on top can make it all quite difficult. So I guess for me being able to control my working environment makes change easier, for example switching jobs but still working in my own space that I have set up to help and not hinder me has made those transitions so much easier.

I also have melatonin from time to time, but try not to use it too much because it is a hormone and also I've experienced some quite horrific dreams after taking it too often! (Also they don't prescribe it to adults in the UK so I have to order it from America or buy it if travelling there)

I agree and it's a shame people have to ruin it for others. My company are so relaxed they don't even require you to be logged in to Teams or Zoom for example so I'm lucky in that we are trusted to just get our jobs done.

I am with you OP, WFH works for a lot of people for a whole range of reasons.

There is a push to return which isn't great, commute costs and unreliable trains make it v difficult plus the continual train strikes

I'm not keen to return would do a mix but not 5 days a week again the thought also fills me with absolute dread.

I understand. I WFH during lockdown and when we came back I was given my own room which I have very much gotten used to. I despise the commute but I'm fine once I'm at work as I'm mostly left in peace with no distractions. I was so sick of the commute that I started to look at other jobs but I was surprised at the lack of WFH jobs (they were all senior roles). My boss is nearing retirement and I am absolutely dreading have to look for a job where I may not have this luxury if he sells up. I genuinely don't think I could concentrate sitting with others anymore.

Thank you. I'm not on any medication - ADHD medication can flare up the autism side more, but also there is a shortage currently lasting until April time so I don't want to be reliant on a medication that has the risk of being unavailable for such a long timeframes - I feel like that is a recipe for disaster for me!

There isn't any medication for autism that I'm aware of. I do want to try and build healthy coping mechanisms and lifestyle changes. But I feel like I'm working with a brain that's continually battling against me on this one 😅

I guess this highly depends on the role but yes, the less skilled and specialist the role it would make sense financially to outsource it to somewhere and pay less for the same if not better performance.

My role isn't industry specific but it is a skilled profession so I hope it wouldn't be the case, it also relies (ironically) on people skills and communication etc which I think is a risk when offshoring a role. And lots of organisation, influencing and collaboration (honestly reading this back I have no idea how I am doing so well in this role 😅😅)

Also this narrative that because someone is on teams all day, it makes no odds if they are in the office or at home. Actually it makes a difference to your team (job dependent) who may need an immersive experience or to see the role modelling/presenting techniques or any other number of things that the team need to experience from each othere.

Thank you, I know the panicking needs to stop!

I've not heard many ND people say they prefer office working so it's definitely a theme.

I'd love to know how fellow ND have found declaring this at job application stage.. maybe that needs to be a separate post

I think this type of view is really sad, and quite ableist really. To limit someone's professional development is really unfair.

This is great if it works for the majority, but we aren't all one and the same and this is a very blanket approach that doesn't consider people's individual needs.

Exactly. People don’t always answer calls or messages immediately. So many people seem to put their status as busy constantly as they don’t want anyone contacting them. And when you do get them on video call it feels slightly awkward and you end up rushing as you can tell they just want you to hurry up and get off the call.

Then they should find jobs where wfh is the norm, or working solo. It isn’t ableist to want to work with people who fit the environment and business ethos.

Thank you. It's interesting to hear everyone's different take on this - so hopefully there will be employers out there with a view like yours.

I also was able to WFH before the pandemic, far less often of course. But I was also in an 'easier' job with far less putting myself out there.. I'd never have moved into this career if it was an in office thing as I just didn't have the confidence for it. But now it's starting to shift back to how it was I am struggling to know how to navigate it..