To be filled with panic about WFH culture becoming a thing of the past?

[themusingsofaninsomniac]

prefacing with please read the context before blanket responses 😊

I am stressing away as I tend to do lately on the same topic. I have WFH since the pandemic, with the odd day or so in the office I am lucky to have full flexibility with.

I have Autism. I also have ADHD. The combo together is quite the clusterfuck to navigate as a newly diagnosed female. Essentially the pandemic shone a light on so much and I'm so grateful that it enabled me to seek diagnosis, as much as it's an ongoing struggle.

From working remotely since the beginning I've never felt more stable and successful in my career. I was able to secure a promotion into a field I'd never have had the confidence to try in a non-remote setting in the first place, and I've been fortunate to earn a fair bit more as a result.

I feel completely at ease in my own environment and with the ability to tailor things to what works well for me. Having that commute time back has helped my wellbeing, as has having my lunch breaks in my own home. I am in a routine that I feel helps my mental health and the challenges neurodiversity brings me massively.

My current employer is great but they are the type of company that won't be around forever unfortunately. And from a lot of media and on here etc, it's becoming obvious that things are shifting to either back in the office or a hybrid with a good half your days expected in the office.

This absolutely fills me with dread. I feel like it would turn my world upside down. I'm sure people who don't relate to this will think I'm being dramatic but change and environments outside of your own control are so so hard especially once you've had several years of the opposite.

I guess I'm just wondering where this leaves me. I still have a few friends who WFH but not in my industry. I'm not sure if there would be more flexibility for me, but I also worry about how that will reflect towards my colleagues and I don't want to get anyone's back up. I guess I'm catastrophising that if I need to find another job I'll never be able to maintain what is working so well for me.

Not sure what I'm seeking here to be honest - reassurance maybe or just help to navigate this and whether it's best to be upfront with new employers from the start, or whether that might reduce my chances of being hired. I've been told I don't present as autistic, or typical ADHD but I guess the mix of both means it's a lot more blended. Either way I have generally got good feedback from interviews so it would likely not be known unless I was transparent.

I'd especially like to hear from someone in a similar boat too, if there is anyone? Probably not at twenty to one on a weekday though I imagine 😅

Thanks to anyone who has read this to the end as I know that got wordy!

Yes, it very much does not have to be done. That's kind of the point of the discussion. Nothing innate about office work.

And frankly, if people want to argue that remote working is bad for the economy, they need to be aiming for something more sophisticated than Jacob Rees Mogg level analysis if they want not to be laughed at. The UK has had poor productivity compared to competitors for a long time, including when remote work levels were much lower and when employers had more power in the job market than now. Perhaps part of the reason for that is the number of people who are clearly incapable of recognising piss taking in an office environment.

I have wfh since 2010, if you demonstrate it works and you are successful and productive I think you shouldn’t worry.

It's not a bad thing IMO and I say this as someone who enjoys working from home. My employer seems like they might be bringing us all back to the office and I do feel some dread but at the same time there are things that I have been missing.
Just the sense of getting out the house every day....Seeing stuff on my way to work....That total sense of relaxation when I get home after a day out at work. Forced interaction not just with colleagues but also random people, even just buying lunch. I was more sociable as well because being out at work it was easier to say "Sure why not?" to a friend asking if I wanted a quick drink before dinner.
I get lots of people are introverts etc but I also wonder how much of this WFH stuff plays into this rise in social anxiety and isolation.
I also felt like I had more energy strangely when going out to work, even though it was more tiring. It's like the less I move the less energy I have to move.
Lower energy bills.
More opportunities too...It depends where you work but I found I had more ideas when going into the office. Staring out the bus window on my way home and having that dead space to let my mind wander, also having a cigarette and talking to somebody unconnected to my work outside.
I also felt better about myself physically when working at the office where the dress code is casual, but still: I put on some makeup and a nice jumper, I brush my hair. WFH for the past 2 years I have really become like a student and find it harder to motivate myself to even put on a nice pair of trousers. Some might say that's freeing, and I agree, but it's also a little depressing.
Of course it's different if you're one of those people who has a 2 hour commute either way but I personally would not have a job/live in a place where a 2 hour commute is necessary.

All this to say that I am feeling wary but actually there is a lot I personally feel positive about in going back to the office.

Yes - catastrophic thinking. I do it too. Keep telling yourself that no amount of worry influences outcome. Live day to day. Life is a struggle but wow you have a job and somewhere to live. Success!

https://prospect.org.uk/article/what-does-the-law-say-about-neurodiversity-equality-at-work/

But Op presumably managed okay prior to covid? But suddenly it seems now finds working in the office unmanageable….

That’s not strictly true.

One of the big issues with being NDis that people can mask for certain things, like work or school.

But it’s so exhausting their life outside barely exists. Their out of work time is spent recovering from masking. They weren’t coping. They just appeared to be. It can be as bad as having daily meltdowns once home or not being able to function and self care properly. They can end up sick, burned out sometimes then having to take long breaks from work.

When lockdown came and they saw they can work and feel better all around and still have enough energy to function in other areas, it’s no wonder people don’t want to or don’t feel they can go back.

It’s been 4 years, that’s a long time to do it then go back to something that actively harms you. Especially for, in many cases, no benefit to the company or employee.

Not everyone who is ND feels this way. I prefer being in an office (I don’t have one office I move around a few) with occasional time at home. But lots of people who are ND weren’t really coping.

It’s not just the industries you have mentioned. There are shortages of workers in office-based jobs too. This is really going to be a huge economic problem.

“While much attention has recently focused on shortages of lorry drivers…, there is also a lack of workers for many office-based roles as the economic recovery increases demand for labour.

This has meant accounting, consulting and law firms are increasingly fighting over the best available candidates, with a similar picture in financial services and the technology industry.”

https://www.ft.com/content/93a72db1-92b6-4dae-8fc1-f1118f45d543

Agree, we’ve just recruited some people as remote for this reason. It means you have the whole U.K. to go at. Hybrid in many ways from a recruitment pov is the worst of both worlds as the people still need to be willing to go to the office. If the jobs are in London for example the cost of that can be easily £100 plus even if it’s a theoretically travel able distance. But they also have to be happy to wfh most of the time.

I wfh. Am quite introverted in group settings. Only started wfh after Covid hit, and love it. Working in the office often gives me anxiety, but we are told we have to work in the office now 1 day a week. I hate it, and feel anxious the nightnbefore every week. But……I have to suck it up and get on with it. Life doesn’t always give us everything we want or would like. OP might not like working in the office and find it hard, but lots of us who don’t have ADHD or Autism just have to find ways to cope with it, as should people suffering with it. There are coping mechanisms for most things, be it counselling, therapy or just finding a way yourself to face it.

Not everyone, but a lot of people do take the piss when wfh. Not contactable for hours in end. I think most business are now hybrid or fully office based again. It's not great for younger members of staff who have to work on their laps in their bedrooms either, plus it makes training more difficult. Everyone managed in the office before Covid. Hybrid sounds like the best of both worlds.

Yep!

And the concept of a worker shortage is so far out of our frame of reference in the UK, it's decades since it last happened. People have got very used to the idea of there always being someone else, of employers being the ones with the power, and so there's a real reluctance in some quarters to understand that it isn't like that now. That there's a shortage of workers overall and that it has an impact across the economy, that you wanting someone to do a job in a set location for a particular price doesn't mean anyone will. Hence comments in this thread from posters who think they can somehow argue their way out of the workings of supply and demand.

I’m interested in wfh. Would you mind sharing what you do and how you got into it please?

Young people moving to new cities generally live in house shares with other young single people.

A lot of the people they work with, on the other hand, will be middle-aged with kids and at a completely different stage of life. Even if the same age, they may live an hour in the opposite direction across the city.

I loved WFH as a twenty-something in London, which gave me more time and money for my actual social life… which revolved around people my age living nearby, not colleagues, for the above reasons.

2 housemates and that’s a fully formed friendship circle for you? Most of the 20 somethings I know joined grad schemes before covid and have made wide circles of friends within their companies. Given they have a common bond through their profession and head out from work together for meals and drinks I would say it’s a very normal way to make friends.

Actually you’re right about people coping before and now who don’t have ADHD/autism or do have it. What did they do before the hybrid/wfh model came out?

I actually watched an interesting reasonable adjustments training video for work on Friday, very informative.

This is beyond ignorant and offensive to people with neurodiverse conditions. I am neurodiverse my fucking assessment from a psychologist says that an office environment will massively hamper my productivity. WFH is not a nice to have preference, it's a requirement for me to be able to do my job effectively.

Pre COVID I only managed an office job by doing excessive overtime and doing all the work that should have been completed during the day at home in my evenings, as it was the only time I could focus.

WFH isn't a jolly, it's an accommodation which means I can actually do my job properly during 9-5.

I'll tell you what I did pre-Covid, I ended up taking home the work that I couldn't complete in a noisy distracting office home and working at home until 11.00pm or midnight most nights.

You, and quite a few other people on this thread are really displaying your ignorance of the effect of neurodiverse conditions.

What did they do?

Many whi are ND struggled. They managed to mask inside work and, often, not function outside work to recover.

Then burn out, become sick and need to take prolonged periods from work. Losing income.

As I said, people have now found a way they can work and function better outside work. They have experienced, for 4 years, that it doesnt need to be like it was before.

Funny, my experience is the complete opposite.

I don't understand people who seem to think WFH = not leaving the house. Most days I pop out - go to the shops, meet a nearby friend, go for a run. It's much easier to do those things managing my own time.

That sense of relaxation - I feel it most of the time. I'm not tense and uncomfortable on account of being on a commute or in an office. I don't want to wait all day to feel relieved, I can just bypass it and be relaxed to start with.

WFH means I have more energy and inclination to say yes to going for post-work drinks. After working in an office I'm knackered, grumpy and just want to go home.

Opportunities? WFH meant I could network internationally, not just in an office, and opened up so many jobs for me over the past 15 years.

Much more creative WFH on account of actually having time and space to think, and being able to take the liberty to take breaks and clear my head whenever I wanted (which is when I had all my best ideas). I have never once had an idea on a packed commuter tube on account of my brain being too full of resentment and loathing.

@gannett
Just goes to show we are all different. I am ND and have found that WFH has "allowed" me to slip into a way of being that isn't necessarily good for me. I will be housebound, if given the choice, so no I won't leave the house when WFH. Same with dressing, socialising, etc.

Same.

When I moved to London in my 20s it never occurred to me to build up my social circle through work. I found friends by going out to house parties, bars, clubs, sports groups, hobby groups, pubs. (Despite being fairly shy and introverted at the time, too.) And as I wanted to actually seem professional at work, it was quite important that I kept it as separate as possible from the fun I had in my social life. I didn't meet anyone while working in an office that I'm still in touch with in any meaningful way, but when I started to WFH my social life really blossomed.

It's pretty offensive to equate introversion with a neurodiverse difference. "Counselling" will not improve my working memory.

Being neurodiverse is not the same as having an introverted personality and mere preference for not being around lots of people. If you're neurodiverse it often means that office environment makes it impossible for you to concentrate and perform tasks adequately. I am not anxious when presented with lots of people and I love large groups in social contexts. However, I simply can't perform my job properly when working in an office.

It’s absolutely possible to make friends in work but it’s not essential in any way for young people as PP are trying to claim.

Yes, 2 housemates can lead to an entire social circle. Have you never house shared? Each of those 2 housemates has 3 other friends, and they say, “we’re all going to the pub on the corner on Friday night, do you want to come? “ and you go and get chatting to 3 boys who
live 2 streets over… they invite you to their house party on Saturday night so you go there… you meet a girl who says “I play football in the park on Sundays” so you go there and make friends with the team…before you know it you have 6 great friends and 30 acquaintances And a boyfriend… no office required!

it’s the easiest time in your life to meet people when you are young, because everyone has so much energy and free time and so few responsibilities. Everybody is open to meeting new friends and new experiences. IMO It’s more interesting to meet people from a variety of circles rather than confining yourself to a random collection of people in an office. I really feel all this “concern” about young people is so fake!

I can see that remote working might be much more isolating and problematic for middle-aged single people who actually live alone, when it becomes much more difficult to make new friends etc, but if that’s your real concern then you should say so instead of the faux worry about “the young”.

in any case this is a temporary problem as people graduating now will be aware that any previously office based type of work may be WFH in future. So the office-loving people will be able to choose public-facing jobs if they never want to WFH, and those who want to WFH will be able to choose accordingly too. I’m happy that my kids will grow up in a time with so much more flexibility.

Really sorry to hear this. These companies just don’t deserve staff like you, they’re going to lose out in the long term. There are still companies that offer wfh, my current client is 100% wfh. I’d start looking for a new job asap, one which appreciate you more, good luck hope things work out!