To be filled with panic about WFH culture becoming a thing of the past?

[themusingsofaninsomniac]

prefacing with please read the context before blanket responses 😊

I am stressing away as I tend to do lately on the same topic. I have WFH since the pandemic, with the odd day or so in the office I am lucky to have full flexibility with.

I have Autism. I also have ADHD. The combo together is quite the clusterfuck to navigate as a newly diagnosed female. Essentially the pandemic shone a light on so much and I'm so grateful that it enabled me to seek diagnosis, as much as it's an ongoing struggle.

From working remotely since the beginning I've never felt more stable and successful in my career. I was able to secure a promotion into a field I'd never have had the confidence to try in a non-remote setting in the first place, and I've been fortunate to earn a fair bit more as a result.

I feel completely at ease in my own environment and with the ability to tailor things to what works well for me. Having that commute time back has helped my wellbeing, as has having my lunch breaks in my own home. I am in a routine that I feel helps my mental health and the challenges neurodiversity brings me massively.

My current employer is great but they are the type of company that won't be around forever unfortunately. And from a lot of media and on here etc, it's becoming obvious that things are shifting to either back in the office or a hybrid with a good half your days expected in the office.

This absolutely fills me with dread. I feel like it would turn my world upside down. I'm sure people who don't relate to this will think I'm being dramatic but change and environments outside of your own control are so so hard especially once you've had several years of the opposite.

I guess I'm just wondering where this leaves me. I still have a few friends who WFH but not in my industry. I'm not sure if there would be more flexibility for me, but I also worry about how that will reflect towards my colleagues and I don't want to get anyone's back up. I guess I'm catastrophising that if I need to find another job I'll never be able to maintain what is working so well for me.

Not sure what I'm seeking here to be honest - reassurance maybe or just help to navigate this and whether it's best to be upfront with new employers from the start, or whether that might reduce my chances of being hired. I've been told I don't present as autistic, or typical ADHD but I guess the mix of both means it's a lot more blended. Either way I have generally got good feedback from interviews so it would likely not be known unless I was transparent.

I'd especially like to hear from someone in a similar boat too, if there is anyone? Probably not at twenty to one on a weekday though I imagine 😅

Thanks to anyone who has read this to the end as I know that got wordy!

I get your point. WFH has helped so many people to be able to work - people with disabilities and illnesses, people with mental illnesses, people with caring responsibilities, etc. Basically everyone who doesn’t cope well with commuting and being in a busy environment. Not to mention people who live remotely or who live far away from jobs in their industry. It’s a terrifying thought that it might end. Thankfully Gen Z is all about WFH and quality of life, lots of them won’t even consider jobs that aren’t at least part time WFH. So I think it will continue.

Easier said than done I’m sure, but try to enjoy how well things are going right now and cross that bridge if and when it ever comes to it. I’m NT but have a husband and son who have ASD and they both have a tendency to panic at the thought of change before I even see it on the horizon. The other way to think of it is if and when it may come to it what’s the worst that could happen? You have a diagnosis and therefore a protected characteristic in employment law. Employers tend to be much more accommodating than they used to be historically. And you’re currently thriving so will have excellent references. You’ve already recognised that you perform well in interview situations. You are clearly very employable! Requesting more remote working hours if needed in future jobs doesn’t sound unreasonable to me 🙂

I think its a fact that more people are back at the office, than there was at the office during the pandemic.

It's also true that many people are hybrid, where they are in a few days a week.

But also plenty are still wfh or their hybrid pattern is a day only when relevant.

It's really hard to predict what will happen if your company ceases to exist. You know your industry better than us. Or if your role is industry specific. My role is a specialist but is transferable into many industries.

I have adhd. My teams are only in one day a week at most. I prefer to be in 3 days.

My advice, in looking for a new role is to look for a company who already does wfh. For many companies wfh, for 99% of the time isn't an adjustment they ca make. Especially in the first few months or year. But again it depends on your role. It might be.

Unfortunately, my experience about being upfront isn't positive. But again, that's employer, industry, role specific.

Since I became a specialist in my area, I can set alot of my own working conditions. Because people want my expertise so will work with what I offer

I think the pendulum will swing back to office based, then people will go 'wtf, we've just lost half our best talent and we need to spend a bazillion ££ on new offices to accommodate everyone' and then it will swing back to a sensible level. That's in general terms, of course.

In personal terms, two things are happening:

You are having intrusive thoughts about a return to the office full time which is causing you enormous amounts of stress. First step is to recognise that and find ways to manage those thoughts. Google will have a better explanation than me at this time of night after a couple of wines, but you do need to recognise that catastrophising isn't helping you.

Secondly: YOU are not 'life in general'. I've worked from home exclusively for 15 years because I'm a freelance. It's easier now than it's ever been, ngl lots of relationship building etc was much harder when i started, but in order to be home, I changed my career to one that let me BE at home. It doesn't matter to me what the rest of the world is doing, I WFH. So you need to find the way to make your career a WFH career. That might mean you have to change jobs, or firms, or retrain, or whatever. But it is absolutely possible to do it. There will be sacrifices, don't get me wrong, I miss a lot of things about the office for example - but no job is 100% perfect.

You are more in control than you think.

Thank you all for the very level headed responses and support. You have no idea how helpful this is as I expected to get a bit of a bashing!

I'm definitely panicking more than I need to be, I can acknowledge it now but can't seem to be able to stop it in its tracks.

I think it needs some more rational thought when it isn't approaching 1am and I have to be on the ball tomorrow.

Overthinking and going to the worst case scenario is a hard habit to break.

Thanks everyone 🤍

ASD here and waiting to also be assessed for ADHD. I love the odd day in the office but do find it massively draining, I think I’d be ok with hybrid and 1-2 days in the office but not more than that. And my commute is 1.15 hrs so ideally a shorter office day as a compromise e.g. 9-4.30

I'm also sad to see that there's a push to go back in office. It's clearly been an agenda for those with office premises and other business or investments that rely on corporate money and footfall.

Sadly I think it's incredibly short sighted. The amount of traffic returning to the office puts back on the roads has enormous environmental impacts.

Not to mention that turning suitable office buildings into housing could have been a way to combat the housing shortage in the UK.

You could tell your employer that it effects your disability and ask that work from home be considered a reasonable adjustment. You have proved that you can do the job from home so I highly doubt they could argue it was unreasonable.

You could search for an entirely remote job, there's still lots of more progressive companies who don't have any days in office.

Our organisation currently has 4 floors, and over 2 weeks they found the max capacity was 25% at any one time, even though our policy is 3 days at work.

I live on my own and I need social interaction, it is great to be flexible about it. However, there are a lot of people who cannot deal with hot-desking at work- so the organisation has to balance what the needs are.

There are a lot of different ways to approach it, but they are looking to cut the budget- loss of office space will be the best way to do it.

Both the large companies my husband and I work for, sold their offices.
While we work for them, there isn’t another option

Could you retrain? Lots of tech companies still focus on mainly WFH. Also, due to WFH staff refusing to participate in face to face meetings and activities a lot of companies specify hybrid working just so staff don't think they can get away with never leaving the house! Personally I think exclusive WFH turns people into hermits!

With your diagnoses, even if you were asked to return to the office, couldn't you request "reasonable accommodations" or whatever the term is? I think lots of employers would rather do that than go through the rigors of recruitment.

Crying reading this post as a ND woman who also thrived during the pandemic, now navigating a totally inflexible and mandatory 3-days-per-week office policy. No exceptions (requires VP approval and no requests are being granted). It’s being enforced by badge scan data and tracked at an individual level, no allowance for holiday or sick leave - no 3 days that week goes down as non-compliance, 2+ non/compliant weeks of the last 8 equals disciplinary.

I commute an hour each way to do video calls with colleagues across the world and at other organisations, am line-managing a terrible new hire, and also travel internationally with my job through the year. I am constantly over-stimulated in the office and burnt out outside of it from trying to live normally; my quality of life has nosedived since this policy into effect. Currently can’t sleep because I’ll be up in 5 hours for another day of this. I am not coping.

you all might be surprised at the number of businesses which CANNOT do WFH! it just does not work all the times!! many businesses really should be all in the office now! even councils!

Clearly the OP's employer is one of the businesses that can offer WFH, so your comment is irrelevant to this thread.

I think that for every person who is stressed at the thought of being back in the office, there's another person who is suffering from being at home, for all kinds of reasons, and who will benefit from being in an office with others.
There's a happy medium somewhere, and hybrid working might be it. It seems to be a good compromise.

I am in this sweet spot of having an office but zero requirement to show up to it. When I do go into the office it seems like the anticipation of going to the office is a lot worse than actually being there.

No argument - It is two totally different lifestyles - the night before an office day and all the prep, getting up a lot earlier, makeup, the obstacle course that is the commute and parking garage, having to badge in and out doors every time I need to pee, traffic, finding lunch, multiple elevator rides - I mean, going to the office requires So. Much. Effort - physical, emotional, mental effort. But, I don't mind doing it every now and then. I always feel so ALIVE at the end of an office day.

Recruiters contact me almost daily and these jobs they are pitching me are either 100% office or 4 office days and 1 WFH. I have not been pitched a 100% remote job.

I do know some companies in my industry who got rid of their offices early pandemic, but I also know they are starting to regret it as their remote employees have basically stopped working. I don't see 100% WFH becoming permanent.

YANBU. Autistic here, recently diagnosed, much prefer hybrid working with my on-site days being ad hoc. Lockdown enabled me to unmask (even prior to my diagnosis) and going back to masking forty hours per week is just not happening.

@RtHonNicolaMurray I suggest that you look for another job because that refusal to allow more WFH days even for disabled people is shitty and quite possibly unlawful.

no allowance for holiday or sick leave - no 3 days that week goes down as non-compliance, 2+ non/compliant weeks of the last 8 equals disciplinary

So, if you are on approved leave for 2 weeks, you will get a disciplinary? If you are signed off work sick for 2 weeks, you will get a disciplinary? Surely, you can see this is not correct. That means no one would ever be allowed to take more than 2 days leave (be it approved annual leave or signed sick leave) at a time, which is obviously not legal. No employer can do this.

I meant in-week. So if you take time out to recover from a flu or holiday that’s less than a whole week, required to be in for the remainder

I’m side stepping the wfh issue for a moment @themusingsofaninsomniac and just thinking practically. Anticipation of change, can be a bigger issue than change itself, and finding strategies to manage those thoughts is probably the most important thing for you right now.

For my ds, melatonin has been a game changer in terms of anxiety because most of his intrusive thoughts happen when he can’t get to sleep. By cutting back on the insomnia, his anxiety has dropped significantly.

Fear of change, and the paralysis it can induce is likely to be a significant issue for you in working life. You’ve identified some of your sensory and environmental needs, but if you lack the skills to pivot and side step or change career when the time comes, it will be hard to maintain those conditions. This is another area you might need to actively seek out support, in the form of a mentor or a paid coach.

What kind of support do you have in your life?

Wfh is great, but sadly people take the piss with it and go missing for hours. That is what is killing off wfh sadly, and bosses are asking people to return to the office.

I do believe there are people who have diagnosed health/disability needs who should be afforded the opportunity to WFH 90/100% of the time.

This should be the exception rather than the rule though, imo.

Reading threads on here has left me with the impression some employees have lost the run of themselves when it comes to their contractual responsibilities.

They seem to believe their personal child care, financial, commuting, desire to maintain their homes in their 'lunch break' and/or do the school run during 'flexi breaks' are matters employers should be factoring into their business decisions when it comes to WFH policies.

This impression appears to be being borne out in the ever-increasing number of employees now identifying the need for workplace input from employees.

That said, the employers' findings appear to fly in the face of MNers who, to a person, report their personal production as having sky rocketed whilst WFH.😉

I meant in-week. So if you take time out to recover from a flu or holiday that’s less than a whole week, required to be in for the remainder

okay, that makes sense. Surely that’s fair though?

Wfh is great, but sadly people take the piss with it and go missing for hours. That is what is killing off wfh sadly, and bosses are asking people to return to the office

That’s the problem. I’m honestly more productive as wfh but I don’t have young kids, mine are adult. You see a lot of people who have young kids and no childcare in place, or disappear around school drop off/pick up and then are not available once kids get home due to kid wrangling, or kid wrangle during school hols rather than holiday clubs etc. They honestly believe that the necessary dispensations in place during Covid lockdown/home schooling should continue ad infinitum. As a manager it’s a real problem as they don’t understand it was a necessity at that time and should not continue as it’s not ideal.

I also see how the younger crew without decades experience under their belts fare so much better when able to connect in person in the office. They get all of this ‘ad hoc value add’ from us oldies they miss out on if it’s just scheduled catch ups via teams/zoom etc.

I agree with the previous posters who suggested that some people ruin it for the rest of us. I WFH with a mandatory 3 days in the office and am allowed flexible hours. It is a god send for me as it solves my childcare and I can pick up my children from school (after which I continue working).

I am online the entire day when home, sometimes working late in the evening (WFH or not) and I very occasionally take a 20min lunch. Often I eat at my desk.

About 50% are doing something similar in my office, I.e overcompensate for the privilege of flexibility.

About 40% take long, frequent breaks when WFH and consider going to the office so annoying that they allow themselves 5 hour days (where they also take lunch) for “travel”, coming in at 10am and leaving at 3pm with no logging on later.

And about 10% just are gone for hours at a time, impossible to get hold of, impossible to know if they will be reachable before the weekend on a Thursday, even missing meetings.

I think that we could just about manage the 40%, annoying as they are. The 10% will kill it off for us.