Mum doesn't let 18 month old walk around house

[kitchenfoik]

My sister won't let her 18 month old walk around the house. She's only allowed to walk in one room ( on carpeted floor ) with a gate to stop her walking into the rest of the house that has wooden and tiled floors.

My niece started walking 3-4 months ago.

She's in a play pen or high chair whenever she leaves is in rooms without carpet.

I know it's none of my business but I think it's affecting her confidence and abilities too.

Well that's a bit odd. Have you asked her why?

This is very odd.

what about when she is out in public with her dd or at other peoples houses??

She's an anxious first time mum.

Have you spoken to her about it?

She's going to have to accept that her baby will have a bump or two during toddlerhood.

Yes its very strange. What reason does she give for this and when is she planning on allowing her to roam? Is she allowed time walking round outside or is she confined to a pram all the time?

It sounds like your sister is worried about her falling and hurting herself. Unless there's a medical issue that would put your dn at more risk of injury when falling then it sounds like your sister might be struggling with anxiety. I had ppa after having ds, suddenly everything is a potential threat, even a trip to our local spar was scary incase there was an armed robbery while we were there, or a car left the road and hit us while we were walking there. Obviously completely irrational and luckily mine was fairly mild compared to what some mums experience. Your sister needs your support and I'd get curious about what she's thinking and feeling and gently ask about it. If she is struggling with her anxiety then suggest she speaks to her health visitor or gp .

Presumably she is worried about her child falling over and banging her head on the hard floor.

A wooden floor is fairly forgiving, I think, but I can understand it with a tiled floor. All our floors downstairs are either tiled or wooden, but I don't think that was the case when my children were young.

Yes she's really worried she'll fall.

I know someone who did this and their child gained a lot of weight from not being able to run around. It's holding back their development obviously too, coordination, balance, etc. They need to fall to learn how not to. Their bones are more flexible when they're that age too so they won't get hurt like they will later.

hahahaha reminds me of this twatty mother in my friend's kid's nursery class. She actively tried to prevent her from crawling when she started - actually picking her up each time she did it 'as it might hurt her joints'. She seriously needed to get back to work - sounds like your sister does too. Wait until she is on child 2 or 3, she won't have time or inclination for such crap.

Toddlers are designed to withstand a bump or two. Otherwise they'd never survive their bikes later on. It's part of growing up.

Encourage her to let the LO explore, if only on one level. She will have tumbles but she'll be fine and the tumbles will teach her that she can walk and cope.

Tell your sister that babies need to fall down and get the normal bumps and bruises associated from learning to navigate the world. It's critical, actually. This isn't normal or healthy at all.

She sounds very anxious and over protective. All children fall it's part of learning. If your sister never allows her to take any risks she will actually be in more danger when she is eventually given more freedom as she won't have learnt how to cope with more risky situations

I knew someone who actively tried to stop her DC from learning to walk because she was scared he would fall over. She had seriously bad anxiety and the Health Visitor had a talk with her about it and she eventually relaxed a little. Perhaps your Dsis could talk to a HV as this really isn’t healthy for her DD’s development.

This isn’t right or healthy. Falling is a very important learning experience for babies and toddlers.
I am guessing the child isn’t allowed climb either.
Long term this is incredibly harmful to the child but realistically what can you do OP. Maybe gently ask your sister about anxiety.
We have all tiles or wooden floors downstairs and all wooden floors upstairs. When the baby or toddler fall they get picked up if they cry, kiss and cuddle and on the way again. They don’t get seriously hurt.

Yes totally agree with others. This is seriously detrimental to baby's development, babies need to gauge risk themselves, it can't be taught. If she doesn't learn now she will be stronger or faster and do very dangerous things like running full speed into a window or slamming a door on her toes.

I know there are times to stay out of others business especially re parenting but i don't think this is one of them. I think you need to talk to her, tell her your concerns. If she ignores you maybe have some info from the HSE or a well respected expert to back up your views.

Slightly beside the point, but where on earth do you find an 18 month old that doesn’t try and hurdle over a stair gate, bulldozer their way out of a playpen and scream until they are hoarse strapped into a high chair aside from meal times? Or was DC1 the exception with his antics and not the norm??

I suspect an 18 mth old that has never experienced the joy of climbing and discovering, sadly.

Yours sounds normal!! Although some kids are really passive, I work with kids usually a bit older but have helped out with that age group. Some don't know their own minds at all and will just stay wherever they are put. Their mums are the ones who meet friends in cafes and baby is an accessory, have always secretly hated them. But these passive kids are the ones that I'd have concerns about. A little one who wants to explore the world is learning all the time, the passive baby learns nothing.

Oh dear. Your sister wouldn't cope at all with my ten month old ds. He is crawling, pulling up and attempting to walk. He falls multiple times a day. He cried at first but now just cracks on. It's really normal and essential for development that they can move about freely (obviously I have baby proofed important things like wires).

She really needs help/support to get over that, as she'll either have a child who is expected to sit like a tiny doll out of mortal terror of getting hurt (and wailing and keening like a banshee at the slightest touch) - or she'll have a heart attack when her DD

Faceplants into the wall
Rollerskates down a slope and falls face first
Disappears over a hillock on her first bike ride (head first) into the bushes
Repeats when the stabilisers are removed (preferably before the age of 11)
Climbs a tree and keeps going out of the reach of humans over three stone in weight and six foot in height. Extra points for it being a Holly Tree. With a nest of sparrows.
Goes on the big swing and learns from the other kids how to get it as high as physics allows
Runs headfirst into another child
Tries to pick a neighbour's cat up for a cuddle because the ones at home adopt the dead squid position whenever she goes near them saying 'Come here, baby, it's bedtime and we're going to go for a ride in the baby buggy'
Establishes who gets to keep the bucket or spade for digging at nursery by twatting one another over the head with it
Goes through a pair of tights a day
Starts performing kneeslides in Sainsbury's by the catfood because it's quieter round that corner
Finds out what mass, torque and balance means in the context of her on one end of the seesaw and an eight year old boy getting on the other
Walks on a garden wall and doesn't realise it gets bigger because there is a downwards slope and bricks like to be level at the point of jumping off
Decides to teach the dog to pull her along on her friend's skateboard but the dog finds it more exciting that she realised it would
Has a snowball fight with a kid who has been allowed to play with tennis balls
Plays cricket
Plays football
Does high jump
Does cross country and it snows
Has a territorial dispute with the 2nd shepherd over who gets to hold the lamb they're bringing to the Baby Jesus that is won with the assistance of the plastic cow the other one is holding
Takes part in the three legged race and the other leg trips over and they both fall into a crumpled heap to roll over the finish line
Doesn't duck quickly enough when Daddy is carrying her on his shoulders
Finds out exactly why they're not supposed to bounce on the bouncy castle/trampoline together
Goes ice skating
Tries snowboarding
Wants to go on the school residential
Tries out abseiling and rock climbing
Has the opportunity to ride a pony
Goes to a secondary school that has stairs and 1697 other students, seemingly all trying to use the same stairs at the same time
Wants to travel to school with her friends and not be walked to the door because she's 15
Wants to stay and help with Open Evening and travel home
Wants to go shopping or see a movie with her friends and have too many sweets and fizzy drinks

and all the other perfectly normal activities that punctuate childhood.

This is absolutely brilliant.
your sister should have read this before getting pregnant to decide whether she would actually cole with the reality of parenthood. I wonder what dad thinks…