Is this batshit? Narcissistic mother related

[DeleteMyMemory]

NC'd but I'm a regular user.

This is a weird one. My mum, whose world revolves around herself and is completely tactless, seems determined to alienate me more lately.

I have a ten month old daughter who is sleep regressing hard atm. She's clingy, grumpy and generally a bit of a misery to have around (plus cutting several new teeth and working on walking). Her comfort thing is having her hand down my top and clinging on to my boob/nipple, which is very annoying at the best of times and I stop her when I have something to distract her. Today I didn't, so I just let discreetly do it under my jacket and it calmed her down so, whatever.

Cue my mum arrives and offers to hold her grandchild to give me a break. Great, I go and get some water. When I get back, she'd unzipped her own jacket and baby's hand is down her top and she (mum) is finding it hilarious. My dad looked mortified. I felt sick and took baby back straight away. As soon as they'd gone, my husband washed the baby's hands.

AIBU or is this fucking weird? Yes it's bad enough I let my baby do it, let alone my mother facilitating it as well. I haven't said anything to her but should I? Has anyone else had this kind of overstepping to deal with?

what’s weird is allowing someone you clearly despise in to your home, holding your baby and being concerned that she is “alienating” you

Instead relish that she’s “alienating” you

your husband washed her hands 😂

Doesn't sound that bad to me, it does sound funny really 🤣

That is totally inappropriate.

I don't think you'll get much help on AIBU, OP. Have a look at this thread, all people dealing with narcissistic people, mainly mothers:

September 2023 - well we took you to Stately Homes www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4902615-september-2023-well-we-took-you-to-stately-homes

Remember it's never about you. It feels personal but it isn't. Staking her claim maybe, who knows?

Just keep a distance. We had to put one in rapidly when my eldest was old enough to tell us what was happening. So many people will minimise anything a grandparent does - don't be so paranoid, they raised you and you're still alive aren't you, they are more expert than we are. Nah. Trust your gut.

Thanks I'll take a look. There's loads of other stuff over the years, stuff I'm willing/trying to repress; the recent ones involving my kids are more upsetting.

I guess this is funny to people who don't have shit like this to deal with 🤷‍♀️

Sounds like my dm and I'm no contact. She will drive you insane with her lack of boundaries and then undermine you to your dc if you let her. Create as much distance as you can and enjoy your dd.

My DC used to do this to my mum as well (didn't grab a nipple though) and we all thought it was hilarious. I'm sure this is the straw that broke the camels back OP, but this was a regular occurrence in my house.

Completely inappropriate of her. Your baby does that with you because of the bond. Absolutely no reason of another person doing that.

Young children do grab boobs for comfort. It's not that odd.
If your mum deliberately put your daughter's hand down her top, that is inappropriate.
However, your DH washing your daughter's hand is an extreme reaction. That's not normal behaviour at all.