To think there’s nothing for me to gain from marriage?

[RudyKazoo]

I fully understand why marriage/civil partnerships are important to many people, and they bring commitment/stability to some relationships, but it’s not something DP and I have ever wanted.

We’ve been together 5+ years and don’t (and probably won’t) have children. We split all living costs 50/50, own a house in joint names, have wills in place and nominated our pensions to each other.

I often see comments on how marriage protects women, but given we’ve got the above wrapped up, are there any other legal/financial protections I’m missing (excluding inheritance tax benefits)?

Same here (after 20 years together). We just treated it as an errand to sort out some legalties, as that's all it is when you boil it down. No rings, no name changes, no one else's business really.

Do you have joint bank/savings account? You say everything is paid 50/50 so if something happened to one of you tomorrow does the other have the means to continue paying the bills until the will has been fulfilled and access to the other persons accounts is gained.

We are in a similar position OP no intention of marrying for tax reasons but will do eventually for the same reason.

Marriage protects anyone who has reduced their earning potential and often won't get a pension or much of one as a result because they either stopped work or worked part time in order to raise children.

If you aren't in that situation and you own property jointly (or don't own any at all, a lot of people rent) and have your own pension, don't have enough £ that would make it make financial sense to be married because of tax allowances etc then no, it doesn't benefit you because you've not lost anything and don't need to be made whole.

Marriage is a piece of paper and an expensive dress and alot of stress if u need these things thst badly go for it but at end of day that all you are getting

I’d say marriage only benefits when women give up jobs or go part time when they have kids.

I think you've covered it, apart from LPA (which we're about to do in similar circumstances). Do check about survivors pension. We had to do a further nomination for this in addition to the lump sum nomination. Inheritance tax advantages are the only thing you can't replicate.

There's bereavement benefit payable to bereaved spouses if one of you dies before state pension age, but that's not a deal breaker. And there's the ability to move money about to maximise capital gains tax allowances etc, but that's only of use to certain people.

Definitely check DB pension especially if one of you dies while still working. I'm not sure it pays out to a non spouse.

I'm largely in your position OP and have come to the conclusion marriage isnt necessary. I also want to add that marriage doesnt always protect mothers, you have to be savvy, which I was NOT, and my child-producing 'marriage' turned out to be more of a robbery :(

The only real protection and insurance in your life is your kids. I absolutely dread to think what would happen to me when I'm of pension age in 30 years time. Because the pension system and NHS will be broken by then.

After the divorce settlement, does the woman get any further payments from her ex-husband once the children are grown up?

Is she compensated for her (sometimes significant) loss of earning power from taking years out as a SAHM, or is she expected to put up with that while the ex-husband continues earning a high salary in the latter years of his career and keeping it to himself (barring child maintenance)?

If there are any family law experts who can shed some light!

But what happens after they are divorced? A divorce settlement won’t fully compensate women for loss of earning power from abandoning their careers to support their husband’s career. This can be a significant financial loss.

Does the ex-husband get to keep his high salary to himself after they are divorced (barring child maintenance)?

She can at least claim some pension, zero if married. Personally I worked, I’d never make self financially dependant on a man

DH had cancer and has been in and out of hospital a lot. We both found it very reassuring to be married as there was never any question about whether I should be present at difficult consultations, hanging around in the high dependency unit after surgery, phoning for updates etc. Maybe the various hospitals would have been fine with my level of involvement as a partner, but the thought of even one person getting funny with me or suggesting his estranged parents should be in any way consulted on anything still gives me the fear.

Does that include the pension that the ex-husband builds up after the divorce?

My point is, if they divorce at 40 and he has never taken a career break, he gets to enjoy another 20 years of a high salary (achieved through establishing oneself with 20 years of continuous employment). She on the other hand would have nowhere near that kind of earning potential if she’s taken 2, 5, 10 years out of work to look after children. Which in turn means she will not be able to contribute to her pension after the divorce at the rate that the ex-husband can. Is she compensated for this? If she isn’t, and the divorce is some sort of cut-off point for her to access the ex-husband’s earnings and she’s ‘on her own’ financially, then quite simply she has been screwed over.

Just make sure you have next of kin and power of attorney rights for eachother if shit happens. So you can make the tough decisions yourselves

I would make sure you had a plan to unwind your joint financial commitments easily if you separated as you dont have the ‘divorce process’ to go through. Apart from that do you both have a will sorted out that handles the joint property specifically?

It’s going to make a significant difference to you other than inheritance tax.
Biggest take up of opposite sex civil partnership is older couples doing it at same time as P of Attorney, Wills etc. Not telling anyone just putting it with paperwork. Possibly an option? £175 ish.
Usual disclaimer that wills and pension nominations can be changed without notification to other partner.
If you travel a lot worth thinking about next of kin situation. Here is pragmatic and you won’t have an issue but in foreign countries trying to deal with bureaucracy if he dies or had a serious accident may be more problematic if you are a girlfriend not a wife.

It’s NOT going to make a significant difference to you

This. Marriage is incredibly important if you don’t work or plan to stop working to raise children. If you work or have your own assets and particularly if you have children from a previous relationship it’s usually a thoroughly bad idea.

I wish people would educate themselves properly about marriage and its purpose and stop assuming it’s a panacea for all problems.

That's rude. People without children can still be religious, they could still want to celebrate their love with the people they love, they can still want to be spouses and call their partner husband or wife, they can want to be their persons next of kin and beneficiary in an easy way and probably lots of other reasons.

@Normalweirdo we have joint account for daily spending and personal/separate savings accounts. We’re both comfortable (not wealthy by any stretch) and could cover mortgage etc in the short term during a probate situation.

@littlegrebe so sorry to hear that, and I hope you are both doing well now 💐

@Dixiechickonhols I love the idea of older couples getting a civil partnership and not telling anyone!

Well yes, but she'd be more screwed over if they hadn't been married in the first place.

You don't need an expensive dress to get married. Literally all it is is legal paperwork.