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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School run with a toddler is fucking awful

85 replies

collectspples · 30/11/2023 08:34

I'm so fed up with my toddler just being a total nightmare on drop off and pick up. Makes me so stressed out.

Any tips. He's two so I imagine it's just a waiting game

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 30/11/2023 10:04

Have you tried a hip seat?

Nonoatchristmas · 30/11/2023 10:10

Do we share a toddler, op? And it’s very well saying ‘buggy’ when you’re being kicked to hell, they’re going full plank board, trying to keep an eye on older children…

Recently managed to distract mine by looking for the biggest leaf to carry (my car was full of leaves!), but sometimes it was a bag of crisps just to hold something from car to door to car. One has ‘parent and child’ reading sessions every week and I can’t go otherwise toddler would be either running madly around or screaming in the pram 😑.

My middle one was a lot worse, he’s since been diagnosed with ASD (toddler also showing some traits). I can laugh now about the stupidity of some with ‘well just make him do it!’ but at the time it was so unhelpful and soul destroying. I felt mentally and physically done in, so I do feel for you @collectspples .

Looneytune253 · 30/11/2023 10:10

God, honestly I thought you were gonna say it was an actual stressful school run, not 2 mins out of the car. Walk and use a push chair.

mrmagpie · 30/11/2023 10:13

Do you need to drive? My four year old was a bloody nightmare (have two older ones that go to primary school) so we just walked, I strapped her in the buggy with a bunch of toys or a piece of toast and if she screamed so be it. I found it easier to manage the fight with the straps and all that at home rather than at the car at school and at least I wasn't carrying her. Also the fresh air did help her calm down a bit or at least she got the screaming out of her system before we got there!

Also walking is better for lots of other reasons so if you can manage it, it's worth a try.

TeenLifeMum · 30/11/2023 10:25

Sending sympathy. I had the same but dd1 was in school and I had twin toddlers. One hated her sister going to school and every school run was a nightmare. It gets better.

dodi1978 · 30/11/2023 10:31

I feel with you! I had DS1 who started school just after turning 4 (summer born) and DS2 (3 years younger). Infant school runs were tough... DS2 was an extremely tantrummy toddler! Even worse, DS1's school was up some very steep steps, so the buggy was not really an option. The amount of times I had to carry this screaming wiggling something sideways up and down those steps 😂! Luckily, I often met one of the other parents at the bottom of the steps who would volunteer to take DS1 to the classroom. For the time being, commiserations 😏!

Original poster
collectspples · 30/11/2023 13:32

Mariposista · 30/11/2023 09:29

Any chance you could swap it so that you pick the toddler up from nursery after you collect the older child from school?

He does two days a week only at nursery

OP posts:
Original poster
collectspples · 30/11/2023 13:33

Looneytune253 · 30/11/2023 10:10

God, honestly I thought you were gonna say it was an actual stressful school run, not 2 mins out of the car. Walk and use a push chair.

Really helpful, thanks a lot.

It's hardly 2 minutes either.

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 30/11/2023 13:39

Use a buggy, no way would I have done the school run with my then 2 year old without one. Get buggy out the car first, then 2 year old then older child. Much easier than carrying them

stayathomer · 30/11/2023 13:41

My youngest started hanging round with the other toddlers on the school run and eventually started enjoying going.
This was me too- hopefully he finds his tribe, until that, yes, (exhausting) hyper chat about the school to keep his attention, bribes etc etc. it gets easier!!

Whathappenedto · 30/11/2023 13:46

Uuurrrggghhh I feel you. Try doing it with twin two year olds- absolute nightmare. We also have several steep hills the way to school so not only am I fed up with the protests and screaming, I'm exhausted. Mine don't go to nursery so it's me and them, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
My answer is 1- chocolate biscuits, 2- a toy to hold - but not one with parts that will get lost on the way! 3- optimism and the knowledge that in 6 months time, or a year's time, it will be less stressful.

BabaYagasLittleSister · 30/11/2023 13:47

What about getting him something he wants to do like a scooter or something

KateyCuckoo · 30/11/2023 13:51

collectspples · 30/11/2023 09:16

Sounds simple but that's not the answer!

Show quote history

What is the answer then?

kiwimelonlime · 30/11/2023 13:58

Urgh I'm with you OP! I miss a buggy so much!!

Boating123 · 30/11/2023 13:59

I don't know how strong you are but when my son was 2 - 3 I found carrying him short distances was easier than trying to fight him with a buggy.

If he made it difficult for me to carry him said I would carry him like a pig (under my arm with him face down if that makes sense) if he cooperated I would carry him nicely so he was sitting up with his arms around my neck.

Waitingfordoggo · 30/11/2023 14:05

God reading this I feel lucky that my nightmare tantrumming toddler was my DC1. DC2 was (and still is) incredibly lazy and compliant so was happy to just loaf in the buggy for the school run (especially if he had a pot of cheerios).

Sorry OP- that’s not helpful but I can imagine it’s very stressful.

MarilynSays · 30/11/2023 14:14

buggy or a trike bike of sorts to strap him into? plus snacks and bribery of iPad time etc. It is so hard though, but remember it is just a phase and it won't last forever x

UnderstatedElegance · 30/11/2023 14:17

I used to play games with my son. How many red cars can we see, how many birds...that kind of thing. Just to make it a bit more 'fun' and distracting for him. It worked most of the time. Like a pp mentioned. Finding a big leaf was always a popular one.

Badgrief · 30/11/2023 14:17

Do you need to use the car or could you do the whole journey by buggy? Allow plenty of time for the journey and give 10/5 minute warnings (alarm on your phone) before setting off. Bribery with food or a special toy when strapped in nicely in car seat or buggy. Reins when walking (walking with a toddler always takes much longer than expected)

Allfur · 30/11/2023 14:20

Walk or cycle

mathanxiety · 30/11/2023 14:22

Give him a snack and a drink about half an hour before you have to leave. Nothing sugary. Mid afternoon is prime meltdown time for toddlers if they're not asleep. Sometimes a snack and drink can boost blood sugar.

LondonLass91 · 30/11/2023 14:28

Yes it is fucking horrendous. Mine is 3 and a half and it's better but still nightmare. Our school is a mile away along a busy main road. Walking, scooting takes absolutely ages, i'd say 45 mins. If i drive i have to get there 45 mins earlier or no parking space. I have to be upbeat, positive, always have treats. As others have said, leave early, time is a massive stress factor. We all have to queue outside the playground as if it's still covid, so it's constant entertaining her so she doesn't scoot off. Trying to stop both kids running in the road. I find it all so exhausting. Sorry not helping much am i.

QueenofTerrasen · 30/11/2023 14:28

Right - but why is a pushchair not the answer? Just put him in it and it solves running off the issue completely

Historybooks · 30/11/2023 14:30

Yup it can be tough. Ours insisted walking and made a 20 min journey 45 mins. We didn't bribe him into the buggy with junk food so you know it was tricky. It passes.

Historybooks · 30/11/2023 14:32

I think leave plenty of time. Try different vehicles like trike etc... or if you can agree I'll carry you for a bit then buggy.