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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About the situation with my MIL

6 replies

roseygo · 29/11/2023 21:45

She is lovely and we generally get on well but don’t see much of each other as they live about an hour away. Maybe see them once or twice a month, on average. She doesn’t work and keeps inviting me to activities in the daytime and evenings after work near her. Theoretically I could make it in the evening but it would mean leaving work at 5:30, arriving at hers around 7, going to the book club she wants to go to then driving home in the dark 40 miles ish and arriving home at 9pm or later. I’m not sure she recognises I would love to spend time with her, but I am working (a good 50 miles and some) away from her house during the times she is inviting me to things. She knows this and isn’t forgetful or anything like that.
She seems very hurt and doesn’t hide the disappointment on her face whenever I decline. It’s genuine I think rather than manipulative

What to do in this situation? I think she thinks I don’t like her, even though that’s not true!

OP posts:
Bettyscakes · 29/11/2023 21:47

Explain like you have above?

Ponoka7 · 29/11/2023 21:48

As said explain and work out a time that does suit.

CremeEggSupremacy · 29/11/2023 21:49

Just explain the above and maybe invite her to things closer to you or agree to meet in the middle? My MIL is an hour away by car and I meet her fairly regularly in a little town about halfway for a coffee and a walk

LauritaEvita · 29/11/2023 22:13

Have you explained what meeting up would make your day look like? Maybe she just doesn’t realise what a faff it would be

roseygo · 29/11/2023 22:18

Thanks everyone. I’ll suggest in between but she doesn’t like going too far as she’s got dogs

OP posts:
alicedbr · 29/11/2023 22:45

Find very similar events but very near YOUR house so she has to do the driving. Then she will either get to see more of you or decline for the same reasons you're declining and clock that it just isn't feasible to be doing so much driving for a book club

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