To feel unsettled by this phonecall?

[Whydothey]

The other day I was on my own at work, just opened up the shop when the phone rang.
I said "Hello, [shop name] and a man said "have you been busy at the weekend?"

There was something really off about his tone, like he was trying to sound intimate, and something made me think I shouldn't engage with him, so I said "who is this?"
He said "have you been busy?" I said "who is this?" and he didn't reply so I hung up.

Almost immediately the phone rang again and the conversation went:
"Hello, [shop name]"
"Were you busy at the weekend?"
"Who is this?"
Were you busy?"
"Who is this?"
"Can you just answer the question?"
"I can't answer if I don't know who I'm talking to."
Then I hung up.

Then a volunteer arrived (it's a charity shop) and she went on the till, and there were no more weird phone calls.

Having written it down I know it looks like nothing, but his tone of voice was just so creepy, almost like he was trying to insinuate something somehow. And him asking me to just answer the question, like I was the unreasonable one for not merrily chatting away to a complete stranger on the phone about something that was none of his business.

And I keep wondering was it a coincidence that he stopped phoning when the volunteer arrived; did he just give up after making two attempts at phoning, or was he watching the shop and could see that I wasn't alone anymore?

I very much doubt it was someone watching the shop.

That sort of phone call does tend to feel a bit unsettling but by far the most likely explanation really is just that it was some oddball who gets a kick out of phoning random women. Or maybe it's someone with mental health issues or who lacks capacity to grasp social norms, who has come into the shop before and decided he wanted to talk to someone who works there. I think it's unlikely that it was personal or that someone's stalking you - it's not impossible, but it's way less likely than most other explanations.

YANBU to be a little bit creeped out by it, because it's just a bit odd, but I wouldn't dwell on it.

Years ago, when I was quite young, a customer used to ring the company I worked for and ask for me by name (I didn't work in sales or have anything to do with customers) and then ask me questions about the company structure without telling me who he was. The first few calls went pretty much the same way as yours did OP, but I didn't want to be rude and put the phone down in case it was a customer - I guessed it would have to be, so my (male) supervisor would take over. He would tell him who he was and be put through to Sales. It was really weird. After the first couple of times, often months apart, I would cut him off and say "oh hello Mr Jones, I'll just put you through to Sales without engaging. I don't know how he knew my name or that I worked there. The company didn't say anything to him or do anything about him - customers were treated like gods. He was a middle aged man probably at least 40 years older than me. He came into the business a couple of times and completely ignored me. I guess he had a very boring life! It was very unsettling.

shudder

That is creepy AF. Do you have caller ID or did you dial 1471?

I had this when I was a sales assistant a few years ago! Like a fool I answered the question and became chatty because I thought it was the manager from our other local branch. After a couple of small talk questions he asked what I was wearing so I hung up.

But he never phoned again

Yes there are creeps who get off on calling female run businesses. My industry has a particular problem with it.

Do you have caller ID?

Thanks for your answers.

We don't have caller ID and I didn't think of 1471 at the time. If it happens again though I'll try calling it.

@closingdownsale I have a feeling if I'd answered his question he would have started asking things like that. It's a horrible feeling.

@Mothership4two that's really weird. I can imagine it must have been unsettling.

Honestly, some people are just so fucking weird. I used to sit on the university helpline which was for people who were struggling with mental health, work, feeling lonely etc. The first shift I got given “the list” of the regular weirdos who would ring EVERY night. There was the bloke who would tell us about his fetish for wearing adult diapers, the other about how he was a voyeur, and a few others I can’t remember (or have blocked out). They would talk about it in such a matter of fact way but in the end I just gave up because it was so depressing and gross.

Nappy guy was a bus driver! I always used to look askance at every driver after that. I was only 19 and pretty sheltered and this was in the 90s so I’d never heard of half the things the pervs would talk about.

Creepy. I wouldn’t answer the phone again if you are alone in the shop.

Could be watching it might be a customer it does not sound random either a customer or someone working or living near your shop.

Seriously? It appears to be an isolated incident.

It might be but it might not be and I don’t suppose OP wants to find out.

@Whydothey, instead of ringing it back you could look it up on Who called me? There might be some info on there. But prepare something to say to him in case he does ring again, and don't worry about offending him. I would say something like "If you're not prepared to tell me why you're calling then I will be hanging up. If you continue to harass me I will contact the police. Goodbye."
Don't let him frighten you. Take control!

Creepy as fuck! The fact the calls stopped when your colleague came in, suggests he is watching the shop. Sinister as hell. I second a previous poster, threaten to call the police if he rings again!

At this stage, I would not be overly concerned, as there is no suggestion it will happen again. I would take a different view if it did.

Could he have been asking if the shop is busy at the weekend? Perhaps I am being naive but perhaps he didn't word it correctly/ isn't great at social interactions and wanted to know the best time to come in?

This. Also work on a helpline as a volunteer, and the number of calls from literal wankers, with every stripe of fetish, is outweighed only by those with fairly serious, diagnosed (but inadequately supported) mental health issues.

I wouldn’t worry unduly, OP, unless it starts to happen on the regular. If it does, try to trace the call and definitely escalate the problem to an employed, not volunteer, staff member.

Sorry but yes, you are being naive.

@CitizenofGotham I don't think so. His tone of voice sounded very much like a deliberate "bedroom" voice. I know he didn't really say anything weird, but it was just the way he said it that made my instincts scream "don't engage!"

@Ozgirl75 ugh, that's horrible. There's some awful men out there.

Hopefully it was just a one off. I've not been on my own in the shop since then. I can't really not answer the phone (unless I'm serving a customer) it might be my area manager, or a volunteer calling.

You’ve reminded me of working in a large chain store over 20 years ago. Customers rang in on lines 1 and 2, other stores 4. No one knew what line 3 was, it only ever rang once and the person who called said ‘can I squirt Ribena up your arse?’

People are weird 🤨

@Mazuslongtoenail I know this is a serious thread but that made me chortle 🤭 very inventive pervert.
When I was around 10 (very long time ago) I was home alone, parents were shopping. The phone rang and all I could hear was heavy breathing. It freaked me out & I put the phone down. After my parents got back I told them what happened (no 1471 in them days) & the phone rang again. My very angry father answered to find my very angry grandfather on the other end wondering why I'd hung up on him! Apparently he had a cold 😂

Hopefully a one off its worse when it happens when you are alone I had scary calls when I was 16. The guy was telling me what I was wearing that he knew I was alone etc he terrified me. I could not work out who it was until I remembered I sold an electrical item for my parents that day to a man that worked in a garage.When he called again I told him I knew who it was and I remember the name of the garage on the van and was calling the police. I lied and did not remember what was wrote but he never called again it was weird he seemed so nice and polite when he came not a bit creepy.

Ah ok, yeah. That's fair enough. I agree 100% to trust your instincts. It's just such a random and creepy thing to do so I was trying to figure out if they could've meant anything else. Definitely seems like there are some awful weirdos out there.

Saw this recently, no idea how the word yes can be used to sign you up for stuff but who knows