16 month old, childcare and work dilemma

[Huseo]

Ds currently in nursery 3 days a week. I have annual leave left over from maternity that’s meant I can take days off each week. That will run out in January. I either cut my pay by 20% and have one day off a week with him or he goes to nursery full time at 18 months. What to do? The pay cut would mean I lose 13k a year. Apparently I can do this temporarily for 6 months but it would be a struggle financially… I want to do what’s best for ds though and full time seems such a lot at that age. Dad is involved but we are separated, he pays more than he needs to already so this it 100% on me to decide this in the situation I am in. What would you do?

Is 13k 20% of your salary as if on 65k it would be taxed at 40% so you'd be losing less than this (and also need to.sccount for impact of NI). So I'm just checking if you have calculated the loss correctly. Ultimately it's a very personal decision that only you can make. People will give you advice based on their own experiences but ultimately you need to weigh up whether.you can afford it (maybe look at reducing outgoings, moneysavingexpert.com is good for this) and.how.important it is to you to have that extra day with him, versus financial impact and any impact on your career.

At 13k per annum I would put my child in full time care especially as you are separated so you have to be self reliant…

BUT I work FT and my dd is in FT care so it’s a choice I am happy and comfortable with.

• are you happy with the care your child currently receives?
• would another form of childcare but better if you went full time? Eg childminder instead of nursery this can often be a calmer less “full on” environment

I would also say the developmental change from 14 months to 20months is shocking. I look at my DD and she is now a little girl who has volition and can express herself (sometimes VERY clearly! Sometimes less clearly… ) vs when she was a 12m-14m who essentially a baby who could walk

It comes out at losing 380 a month when child benefit is added and deduction for the actual nursery day I wouldn’t be paying for. Just don’t know what to do.

How much would it cost to put him into nursery full time and would it negate any financial benefits of remaining in work at full pay?
I am full time nursery baby since the age of 12 months and can confirm, it had no negative impact on me as a child or adult.

@GreatGateauxsby thanks, I do keep thinking he may well change in that time and I will wish I hadn’t taken a pay cut as he’d be fine in nursery. The nursery has good recommendations but I just hate leaving him.

Could you condense your hours at all? Not sure that would work with childcare but you might be able to at least get a nine day fortnight. I have a lot of staff who do this

@OvertiredandConfused thanks, how does that work exactly?

Do you have any option to compress your hours, so you stay full time but still get 1 day off a week? So do 4 long days instead of 5 normal days. Especially if your nursery allows a long day anyway. Or I do 90% FTE over 4 days so it doesn't add much on to each day, and I still get most of my pay.

Definitely look at condensed hours. IME people who work 80% hours are usually, in practice, expected to fulfill a full time post anyway which is stressful and often requires extra (usually unpaid) hours.

I would put him in nursery. He’ll be fine and adjust.

my youngest was in full time childcare from 2yrs but she did 3 days in nursery and 2 at a local preschool. The preschool was only term time though so I took those two days off in the school holidays.

they are also often only 9am-3pm. So depends on flexibility in your job.

could that be an option (with ft nursery until he’s 2)?

How do you split contact with your ex, i.e. do you have him only some weekends? How flexible is your job? How much will the loss of earnings when you consider not having to pay nursery etc affect your day to day life? Honestly, 4 days a week is (very) often 4 days pay for 5 days work.

I’m not sure how I would do condensed hours, I guess I could work through lunch Tuesday to Friday so that’s four hours extra, then do the other 3 after work?

Totally depends on your job. Some wouldn't formally let you work through a lunch break. We don't have contractually working hours anyway, but I have a flexible working request that says I do 8-5 four days a week so essentially adding 1 extra hour a day, overall working at 90% FTE.

My daughter is in pretty much full days from Monday to Thursday, it is not hard going for her or myself, infact she has completely blossomed since being in longer! She is 14 months old 😊It is hard at first leaving them for longer, but 13k is a big loss annually.

So it's more like 4.5k. if it's financially doable for you I'd do it, but that's because I worked part time hours around my kids. Those working full time will have a different opinion. So ultimately it's down to you and no right or wrong answer.

You work the same number of hours but over nine days rather than ten. Where I work, that's an extra 50 minutes each day if you want a nine day fortnight. It largely depends on your commute and nursery hours. So I have collagues who can manage to use a nursery from 8am to 6pm and fit in an (almost) 8.5 hour working day - drop off at 8am then start work at 8.30am; finish at 5.30pm and collect by 6pm. That's 8.5 working hours with a statutory 30 minute break.

I do condensed hours (5 days over 4) I start early and then log on and do any extra hours in the evening. My manager is really flexible though and my job means sometimes we do work abit later some evenings/there's always work to do after hours. I have a friend who does 34 hours over 4 days instead of 37 so slightly below full time but that's realistically what she could do around nursery etc and her work agreed so it might be worth discussing it with work

Full time! No brainer!

I'd have the one day off with him. My dd did 4 days in nursery and it was lovely having the extra day to do swimming and music classes with her (they don't run on weekends so she wouldn't have been able to go otherwise). It'll be tight for a while but it's for a fixed period so I think it would be manageable especially with support from the dad.

Full time! 18 months isn't too young at all, many start full time between 9-12 months and some are younger. Mine started full time at 3 months.

He'll be absolutely fine and financially, it is a no brainer.

I'd do 4 days compressed (35 hours into 4 days). Which is what I currently do, I do 8-5.30 with half an hour lunch for 3 days a week then 9 til 5.30 on the 4th day. My husband does the same and we have different week days off. So our youngest is in nursery 3 days a week and our eldest does breakfast and after school club on those 3 days too. Works well.

How much would you have to sacrifice with the 380 shortfall per month? If it's a case of 'we'll have to make do without the foreign holiday' then go for it, a day a week is lovely for going to parent and toddler groups etc. But, if 380 less means scrimping on clothes for your child, going without car/ appliance repairs that may arise, not adequately heating the house... a day off wouldn't be worth it in that case.
I have plenty of colleagues whose children were in full time childcare from 13 months onwards, some from 8 or 9 months, and they are perfectly happy and secure.

If you went 4 days, would you be thinking about doing it for the 6 months or permanently? If only 6 months, do make sure that there will be availability for your son to attend for the fifth day when it ends - when I had to go back up to 5 days from 4 there was no availability at my child's current nursery so they have to go to a different one for that one day, which was a right faff to sort and less than ideal for them in terms of being settled.

i have always worked full time - I figure that people who get paid for 4 days end up working more than that and I have no intention of working for free. Hence preferring to work full time and get paid 100%. At least no one will ask me for freebies.

Take the pay cut, spend the time with your baby and make your life easier too. The baby will be in full time school in a few years. You'll never get the time back.

As a previous poster said, you're not going to lose exactly 1/5 of your pay once tax, NI and pension taken into account. Get the proper figures from HR and then work out how much you're paying for a day of nursery. I bet there's not that much difference.

Everyone has to choose what's best for them and baby, but if you're tempted then do it. You can always go back up to five days if it doesn't work out, or when baby is a bit older.