What do I do?

[Worriedmumofteeenagers]

Longstanding member. Changed username for this. My oldest son is 18. What would you do if your 18 year old son still at 6th form was acting in the way the very opposite to his upbringing and our way of life.

Think jewish family with relatives in Israel and he says he supports the Palestinian people (which is fine) and against the Israelis and they deserved 7th October and were mostly soldiers anyway. Who goes on and on about Israel doesn't have the right to exist and they stole it 75 years ago. Wants to go on propalistinian marches and sees nothing wrong with the chant from the rivers to the sea. Who denies its the Jewish homeland and talks the polar opposite to his family and upbringing. More than that talks down and critisizes others for not sharing his views and just goes on and on and on and on night after night making every around him feel miserable and treading on egg shells. Its such a sensitive subject I realise that. I rejoice in the temporary ceasefire but even now he hasn't stopped. I love him but I can't continue like this. Everyone in the family is under instructions not to mention the war but even so he will still bring it up over and over again

Europe like we do

He's a teenager. If it wasn't Palestine it would be veganism or something else. All teenagers need a badge to wear. They are finding their own identity which usually means the exact opposite of their parents' beliefs and identities. There will also be (in many respects rightly) a lot of support for Palestine among his peers and he is desperate not to be the odd one out. Being the odd one out is identity suicide for a teenager, even though they all claim to be individualistic. I'm sorry he is ranting and making your lives miserable. I went through it with my son for different reasons. Leave him be and he will eventually find a level.

Since dinner this evening he has done nothing but go on and on and on and on at us. I've tried to shut him done but he won't. He's been utterly unrelenting

This

He is being a teenager, but if it’s at the point it’s distressing other people he needs to knock it off. You are entitled not to be berated in your own home.

Try to gradually work on helping him understand the world is a complex place, but the chances are he’ll get their on his own.

A lot of it will be peer pressure I suspect.

Does he realise he’s distressing you?

Is your partner/his father support you.

Does he get an allowance and can you fine him every time he ignores your wishes?

I also think to need to blank him / leave the room.

it sounds so hard, but it might be helpful to explain what you have / haven’t done. Teens can be such buggers..

I think he needs to respect that you have different views but also it might help to try and see where he is coming from and check where he is getting his info from. Have you read up on the history of how Israel became a state, from independent sources, rather than what you were taught as a child etc? He may be feeling very conflicted about his identity/what’s going on and how to deal with that. I’d set boundaries about appropriate times to talk about it, but also rather than just always dismiss him try and learn something about why he is feeling this way too.

https://www.un.org/unispal/history/ if he feels you are listening to him maybe he will lay off a bit? Maybe ask him what he wants you to do?

He wants me to change my mind. He says explain why its the Jewish homeland without mentioning the torrah. And why are they entitled to live there without mentioning the Torrah. He says that books not relevant in modern times. I'll take a look at the link. Thank you

I think the bit about Israelis "deserving 7 October" is the horrifying part. Why does he think its acceptable for any armed force to rape women and parade their corpses naked in the streets? That's part of what he's saying was deserved.

Okay, so? The area was historically a Jewish homeland. Jews lived in Judea. After many centuries of dispersal by various conquerors, Jews have regained rule over their homeland.

He doesn't believe ut happened like that. He thinks mainstream media are lying

He’s allowed to hold alternative political views. He’s allowed to discuss them. What he isn’t allowed to do is make family life intolerable.

Yes I say all that but I go round and round in circles. He says hasn't been their home for hundreds of years