Christmas party etiquette..

[KrisKringlee]

Yes I know, when you're at the Christmas party you're still at work. Have boundaries etc etc.

My conundrum is; my Christmas do is at the bar/ venue as DHs.. same time etc.

It's a weird venue with street food vendors and an incredible bar.

I've been at my job for 1 month. I want to go to be able to mingle and get to know my colleagues more etc. It'll be buy your own drinks etc no money behind the bar.

My DH is a judge and is taking his colleagues out for a Christmas drink, he wants me to meet his colleagues and said he will be putting a lot of money behind the bar to cover his colleagues drinks. He wants me to use the money he's put behind the bar. He also wants me to buy my colleagues all a drink using the bar tab he's paid for.

I am a dr but I feel so awkward about this situation. My boss had booked this venue before I joined and DH is a regular at this place and it's his birthday that day too.

Do I do as he suggested and buy all my colleagues a drink using the money we/ he put behind the bar? Do I introduce my DH to my colleagues? Do I leave my work do and go over and meet his colleagues?

If I tell the bar tender I'm with DH they will give us a massive discount/ make everyone's drink free all night but I don't want to draw attention to what DH does, because I've done it before and people have asked me why I'm still working which is odd.

Am I overthinking this? Should I just say 'oh my husband is here on his work do I'll get the first round in'

Yes I know first world problems.

Just say your husband is also there with his work, introduce him to your colleagues and he can say oh let me get you all a drink and go to the bar. Don’t make it a big thing

Yeah, this. You need to project a professional image to your colleagues.

Yeah my mum is a Dr and my dad is a judge and I dont think she used to really mention it beyond a vague "lawyer " description if people asked

How did it end up being at the same place at the same time?
It sounds like the kind of thing my controlling ex would do, and then pretend it was a "coincidence"

Is there no way one of you can change the venue?

Spot on, great advice.

Definitely play it by ear. Different companies can have such different cultures when it comes to drinking, rounds, party norms. If there's an opportunity where you get a round by all means use your husband's tab but I wouldn't actually tell your colleagues about it.

A bit weird that he actively wants you to, of course it's nice if he says you can jump on his tab if you want, but insisting you use it feels a bit like he wants to show off his generosity. That's the kind of thing that can land weirdly with people you don't know too well.

Would also play it by ear in terms of mingling - I'd set out to focus on socialising with my new colleagues, but of course introducing him at the start of the night. If the two parties end up intermingling naturally that's all good but don't force it or feel it should happen.

This. These are your new colleagues. Your DH doesn’t need to go all Billy Big Balls buying an expensive round and inserting himself into your work party as if the most fascinating person in the room to them will be him. Sure, let him introduce himself at some point in the evening, but other than that concentrate on your respective colleagues. As others have said, many of your colleagues will just want to quietly buy their own drinks and not feel compelled to do rounds and would feel uncomfortable about getting cut price drinks courtesy you and your DH.

You don't have to labour the point that it's out of his personal pocket but you could just keep it breezy like "ooh, good news guys, my DH is here on his work's do and they've said they've offered us all a round on their tab, what does everyone want"