I'm a single mum of 3, 14, 15 and 17, their dad has no interest in them, bit of Disney Dad. They were tiny when we split so I'm used to having to do it all, no time for me.
Today I got into a conversation with a colleague I've always been a tiny bit jealous of. She's much younger but always seemed to have energy I never have even at her age. Decided I'd make something of the jealousy and see if I could get some advice on how to sort myself out as honestly in I'm in a rut. The house is always messy, I barely cook more than a spaghetti Bolognese or fajitas and find myself "doom scrolling" for hours at night. I'm a healthy weight, but don't feel healthy I dont work out etc. I have an office job so spend all my time in front of the computers.
My kids are much more self sufficient now but I don't think I've gotten out of the habit of always being home when they are, haven't dated since the divorce - 12 years ago!!
Talking to this colleague I realised there are a lot of things I could do. Somethings she suggested were
- Prioritising sleep, figuring how much sleep I need and making sure I get that as a priority, she suggested not keeping my phone in the bedroom to prevent doom scrolling, that she goes to bed the same time on weeknights, not any earlier or later, keeps a iPad mini with just a few apps for reading and journaling in her room no other tech allowed.
- Exercise, she said she gets in 20 min of yoga in the morning, tries to go to the gym 3/4 times a week or go a run/play tennis.
- Simplifying life - she tries to make as many decisions in advance to avoid decision fatigue
- Using meal prep services like hello fresh/mindful chef
- Self-care, making sure at least once a week she does something just for her, getting a massage or nails or hair done etc.
There were a few other things like having a cleaner, prioritising time with friends etc.
Now on the surface this seems quite achieve-able, some things less than others admittedly (like yoga while trying to get 3 teens out the door to school) but I think I could do it.
I mentioned it to another colleague and she said she doubted I'd be able to implement it all, it takes a high degree of self-control and discipline to keep routines and rituals like that up. Also the colleague I asked for advice is in her 20s no kids, supportive partner, no money woes (mortgage free thanks to her parents), so our lives aren't comparable.
AIBU to think I could actually achieve all this or do I need to step back and prioritise one at a time?
In the run up to new year and New Year's resolutions, does anyone have any other ideas on how I can start to feel like my life is more in order?