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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

H having a go because I need to go away for work AGAIN

7 replies

rucksaksers · 28/11/2023 18:51

Apparently I have NO IDEA about how terrible it will be if he has to miss a couple of days of work while I'm away on a work trip.

I work from home full time and have to travel for work every 3 months or so, for a couple of nights.

Sometimes a nanny/ baby sitter helps us out or in laws. But H doesn't trust the nanny really, so it just becomes stressful. Last time she accidentally went home with the spare key one night and he made her come back to return it. He just doesn't like or trust her, so I don't think it's an option to get her to help. Hence why he'll need to take a day or two off and just get on with it.

His business shuts down anyway for Christmas a few days later. This morning he had a massive go at me, about how he has no time and I need to get a new job and how I have NO IDEA how much is going on for him and how he cannot afford to abandon his business even for a couple of days.

He always says I need to ' make sure my work trips are actually worth it ' and not just a waste of time. He's also said I should just tell my boss that I can't go. There is zero respect for what I do, because I can work from home and have quite a bit of flexibility.

However, I have targets to meet and I'm under quite constant pressure and stress.

I have two kids, 3 and 1 and I do everything for them ( night wakings, nursery pick up and drop off ). I run the entire household and my H doesn't get in until they're both asleep. He leaves the house before they're up.

It's a lot for me! I can handle it, just about but I'm knackered. Especially because night time isn't great and they wake me up a lot.

Anyway, of course I've posted before about this.

It just pissed me off today when he had a go at me and told me I don't understand and have no idea how much work he has on.

Yes he makes almost three times as much money as me, but I have a very high pressured job as well and pull in a decent salary too. His job needs always seem to trump mine because he has his own business outside of the home and I work from home.

Just needed to rant.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 28/11/2023 18:54

Seems like he has no respect for you or your job and doesn't even want to look after his own children.

OnlyFannys · 28/11/2023 18:54

Oof he sounds like a right wanker tbh op. Big man with his big job 🙄
Personally I just couldn't stay in a relationship like that

SashaBIu · 28/11/2023 19:26

Sounds like a knobhead. But I also wouldn't have a job where my DH had to keep taking annual leave so I could travel with work. Throughout the year that could result in a lot of annual leave.

OnlyFannys · 28/11/2023 19:43

SashaBIu · 28/11/2023 19:26

Sounds like a knobhead. But I also wouldn't have a job where my DH had to keep taking annual leave so I could travel with work. Throughout the year that could result in a lot of annual leave.

He doesn't need to they have a nanny, he is just being a controlling arse

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 28/11/2023 19:44

Well you need rid of one.. Clue... It isn't the nanny.

Summerhillsquare · 28/11/2023 19:52

Jealousy is soooo unattractive.

museumum · 28/11/2023 19:58

So he deals with his own children on work days about three days per quarter. And you do the other 57 working days each quarter. Earning three times your salary doesn’t even come close to being enough to justify that split of childcare responsibilities!!

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