To ask how single mums and dads coparent

[Greenhouse12]

I know my child’s father (who I split with due to cheating but is still a good dad) is keen to be very involved.

i just want what’s best for my child, do most co parents still do parents evening and birthdays together?

I think we’ll definitely be doing Christmas apart but I want to make sure I encourage him to still play a part (also factoring in I’d like to meet someone in the future so want it to be an appropriate amount of doing things together)

Do you get on well now? Do you think you’ll get on just as well in a year’s time when you potentially both have new partners and stepchildren to consider?

There’s a fine line between being successful co-parents and being overly involved in each other’s lives.

Parents’ evening isn’t a big deal and it’s best if you can both go together. For birthdays it’s best if both parents can see the child but I’d do it out of the house.

Ex comes over Christmas morning and on birthdays to see them open presents etc. He then takes them to see his mum bringing them back for lunch - he takes the Boxing Day for a few days. Not this year though as eldest is working.

I still get on really well with my younger kids dad. He is very involved and helps me out and vice versa we do things with the kids he has a key for my house and me his. I am with someone else. However this is about our children and what is best for them, what is most important is having 2 parents who want the best for them and can work together to achieve that. Our youngest has asd/adhd so lots of extra stuff going on so helps if we are both on same page.

kids find it normal and it’s nice being on good terms. However total opposite than with my older kids dad which is why I’m keen for the younger 2 to have positive relationships and see positive relationships in their lives.

Thank you we do get on very well, and are both very civil but I do wonder if that is partly because he thinks we’ll get back together which definitely won’t be happening after cheating.

but the break up is still very new so I definitely see things changing but hopefully not for the worst

Many don't/can't as the men are either abusive or cba. Sometimes it's better they aren't involved.

My partner is "keeping up the appearances" for his daughter's sake. They co-parent beautifully even though he has some pent up resentment against his ex ( I have a feeling the wheels will come off as soon as the kiddo is 18). So yes, they do her birthday together and since she wants to see him on his birthday too, they often arrange a joint dinner for that as well. He is not attending parent's night and they split holidays.

We do all the big events together - birthdays, school things, even Christmas Day. If you can it’s best for your child but it’s not always possible. We get on fine so not an issue

I've coparented successfully with my exh for the last 8 years. You both need to be patient, generous and understanding. Birthdays and Christmases are easy - you take it in turns each year, and arrange it between you with plenty of notice. New partners shouldn't get involved in any aspect of coparenting, the child's best interests should always be put first in any arrangement. It's very easy but both parties need to be non-abusive grown ups.

I'm 3 years down the line from the split. Initially we got on well and carried on doing Christmas, birthdays, even just days out together, like you said, for the benefit of the children. Unfortunately when he realised we weren't going to get back together, his priorities soon changed and he doesn't have the same interest in the dc's lives anymore, so we don't do much together now.

Everything for school is a definite both of us, parents evenings, assemblies and concerts (one of us or both where possible).

Birthdays are also shared. We are both there first thing for present opening ( about 20 minutes for a quick coffee at whoever's house they are at) and then all go out for dinner ( parents and siblings at a restaurant ) - again not long generally about an hour.

Christmas we are both there for present opening then the day pans out as best for everyone. Increasingly the kids want us both together and it's fine as they're always our priority. New partners now also involved generally.