Teachers presents - class gift

[angsanana]

I'm organising the year 5 Xmas present for staff this year. 2 teachers, 1 LSA, 1, one-to-one. When I've done this in the past the pot is usually 250-400 (our school tend not to ask a set amount there is a real mix of affluence). I've reminded a couple of times and Im at £115 between around 10 families.

WIBU to buy the gifts and put "love from Tom, bob, Kirsty etc" rather than "love from year 5"? In the past I've put as a class gift but the majority have contributed.

What's the consensus here?

OK but what about the children that can't/don't?

Children whos parents don't have spare money?
Children who maybe have busy parents who never even thought to sit them down to make craft projects for a teach?
Children whose parents are depressed and struggling to even get them to school on time?
Children whose parents disagree with the concept morally?
Children who may even be neglected?

There no harm in getting a card twice there is harm in singling out a possibly already vulnerable child though.

I've never known any teachers who expect a present. In my experience ( over 40 years of working in schools) they are simply touched and grateful if they do receive gifts

I’ve never known a teacher to say they have a no gifts policy.

Where I previously worked, we would receive multiple bottles of wine every Christmas. A decision was made to have a blanket ban on all gifts (as they could be misconstrued). In the same year it was introduced, gifts were not accepted. It is very easily done and implemented if gifts were really not wanted.

There no harm in getting a card twice there is harm in singling out a possibly already vulnerable child though.

In the case I made above, the boy’s parents do not want to contribute. They have made that clear. They usually remark that they will do their own thing (they don’t!) but it’s an easy excuse. There is no way it would be right to include their boy’s name on a class card and gift when the parents object to getting the gift in the first place.

There's no point in doing a class gift if you're then going to write names and specify who's donated etc. If you're thinking about it on that level, it's also not fair for people who donated £5 to be the same as those who donated £20. You either do a class gift or you don't. You don't know everyone's financial situation, nice area or not.

Again when parents opt out and do not wish to be included, you cannot write their child’s name on the gift.

I'd expect any teacher worth their salt to be aware of things like this.
And I would be really concerned about any teacher who would treat a child differently because their name wasn't on the Christmas gift.

Why would class contributions get spent towards a gift for the one to one staff member?

I'm mainly surprised they are allowed to accept anything other than a token gift. In many professions staff aren't allowed to receive gifts from either customers or suppliers due to bribery and corruption rules. In my work we have to refuse gifts over a certain value and smaller value gifts have to be handed in to HR who raffle them for charity. Maybe schools should do this to discourage this.

OK, so from my perspective
I am not a teacher who opens my presents in front of the class , I think that feels unkind to children who didn't get a gift and then feel guilty (although again and I know I sound like a broken record, they really shouldn't I don't want money wasted on me that could be spent on the children) or left out. So I wouldn't read out this is from x y z etc.
I do do a thank you letter though so if I get a class gift with a group of names I send individual thank yous for the same present, if it said from class x I would do a thank you to all families including any who hadn't contributed.

They haven't even started collecting at our school and there's no way they'd close it until a couple of days before term ends, so that's nearly another 3 weeks. Well done for doing the collection but you need to give people more time.

This .

Not contributing is not 'opting out'.

'They usually remark that they will do their own thing (they don’t!) but it’s an easy excuse.'

yes a common thing people who don't have spare money and are being interrogated and bullied say.

I think the whole class gift is a nice idea in theory only. In practice everyone has different ideas about how it should work and whether they want to be involved or even can afford to be involved.

I have never subscribed to the class gift idea and always opted out to do my own thing. I would not have been happy for my name to be included for a class gift that I hadn't contributed to.

I think if one person wants to buy a big card and get all the kids to sign it that's one thing but whole class joint gifts are cursed.

The teacher SEES who's contributed and how much?

That's feckin' dreadful.

We always put from the class regardless who contributed. I would put a closing date for the collection in a couple of weeks. I tend to sort these things after I get paid ( at the end of the month).

@housethatbuiltme
"'They usually remark that they will do their own thing (they don’t!) but it’s an easy excuse.'

Lots of people do their own thing OP, it's pretty dismissive and disrespectful to assume that they don't. In all likelihood some do and some don't.

You’ve said that you’re in a quite affluent area. Arguably, this is one of the demographics that has been hit the hardest by the cost of living crisis. I’m not for a moment suggesting that they are ‘worse off’ than others, but they’ve probably not had any of the support payments, an interest rate increase on a more expensive house will of course have a greater impact than on a less expensive house. It’s all relative and at a time when people are having to make cut backs, this might very well be one of the things that they decide they can’t afford.

It’s always worked really well for me. Chuck in a tenner and some poor gullible soul organises gifts for multiple teachers/ TAs. Apparently they bought 8 gifts last year! I have no opinions about what they buy or how the money is divvied up.

They disagree with the concept of teacher’s gifts. They do not want to contribute.

The mother has told numerous people this.

In the WhatsApp group she ignores the requests. When she meets the people organising the gift, she tells them she will do her own thing. Which is nothing.

It would not be right to include her son when she has said she does not think and agree with giving teachers gifts.

This person doesn’t. She has told me and others that she does not think teachers should be given gifts.

That's true, you know. I keep the cards and reading the.messages and signature brings my pupils back to mind years later
That' s more personal and meaningful than an expensive present, especially if parents feel under pressure.
I have to say that it is an appalling idea to give a present and card signed only by those whose family has contributed. Some people really are in abject poverty these days and don't need to have their child singled out.

But if you believe that why don’t you approach the school principal and request an email is sent to all parents saying gifts won’t be accepted this year as it’s inappropriate in a cost of living crisis?

And why haven’t you done this before this year?

It’s very very easy to have this implemented.

If only 10 people contribute, only 10 names should be on the card.

Yes but a class gift is from the CLASS.

You can do a class gift and Timmy can STILL give his own mug too... what you can NOT do is exclude little Donald because his mam couldn't afford £5.

People can not be struggling to grasp this which means its active heartlessness.

A class gift is from the 'class', its not from these 10 parents in the class who chose to pool £10 each to gift a £100 gift... thats not a 'class' gift and its not about parents.

I disagree with financial bullying and manditory expectations yes. I also disagree deeply with the exclusion and segregation of children based on their parents or finances.

You CLEARLY failed to read the post where I have given gifts in the past though lol.

I have the capability to think beyond myself though (something many here lack) and think the excluding children because they disagree with their parents is acceptable which frankly makes them assholes.