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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask how to deal with this?

10 replies

myladybelle · 27/11/2023 22:20

DD started reception this year. In preschool she had a lot of friends and was happy to go every day. This year she often tells me that she plays on her own and has not made any friends.

I have made a lot of effort with school mums, swapping numbers and inviting to playdates etc. No issues that I see when I invite someone over for a playdate.
One of the little girls (let's call her sally) in DD's class has told DD that she has bad breath (I've checked and had a friend check, I don't think it's the case). And now DD has told me that sally shouts "run" when she sees DD and gets the other girls to run away.

Now onto the situation. I'm friendly-ish with Sally's mum. Before I knew all the above I had them over for a couple play dates at my house. Ive also invited them to our annual Christmas party on December 16. I really don't want them to come anymore but worried that uninviting the family will make everything worse.

What would you do in my situation?

OP posts:
Arosebyanyname · 27/11/2023 22:23

I would speak to the school about the bullying. And I would say to the mum that there has been issues at school and you would rather that was resolved first.

flowerygloves · 27/11/2023 22:23

Arosebyanyname · 27/11/2023 22:23

I would speak to the school about the bullying. And I would say to the mum that there has been issues at school and you would rather that was resolved first.

Yeah just say this

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 27/11/2023 22:24

Can you have a private word with Sally's mum, explain the situation by saying the girls got off on the wrong foot rather than accusing Sally, see if that helps?

Let the mum decide if she wants to miss your party.

Original poster
myladybelle · 27/11/2023 22:25

What will the school do about this? I'm worried that it's just DD having difficulty making friends.

OP posts:
Treaclesandwich · 27/11/2023 22:26

Arosebyanyname · 27/11/2023 22:23

I would speak to the school about the bullying. And I would say to the mum that there has been issues at school and you would rather that was resolved first.

Good, sensible advice.

Onceuponaheartache · 27/11/2023 22:38

You need to raise this with the class teacher. Do not raise directly with the child's parents, I promise it will not end well.

The teachers will monitor their interactions in school and step in where necessary. They will deal with Sally's parents and will not disclose who it is that is being bullied (they aren't permitted under gdpr & safeguarding) which means things like the party will not be awkward if she does attend.

Hankunamatata · 27/11/2023 22:40

Kids arnt the most reliable at reporting who they are playing with. Iv had kids wax lyrical about how alone they are and no one plays with them to their parents when they have literally stood alone for less then 2 mins then joined in a game. The bullying is not on. I'd have a chat with class teacher and raise your concerns

WonderingWanda · 27/11/2023 22:49

Tell the teacher and let them deal with it. I've seen long term friends fall out over similar. They're only little, thr teacher will sort it out in no time.

EvilElsa · 27/11/2023 22:58

Also agree with speaking to the teacher about this. Maybe the "bad breath" was something DD had for lunch rather than actual bad breath -obviously this makes no difference to the bullying but it might explain the comment from such young children. Mention it tomorrow -it could all be sorted and over by next week.

Original poster
myladybelle · 28/11/2023 15:28

Thank you all for suggestion to speak to the teacher!

OP posts:
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