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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dad working for us!

9 replies

AL1403 · 27/11/2023 21:33

Need some advice please! My husband and I started our business in May 2022 and for the first year it did ok. We grew accordingly, but things have become difficult lately and we are struggling to make ends meets.

When we were doing well, we decided to employ my dad. He was desperately unhappy in his job and we naively agreed to pay him his current salary. Since things have become tight, we are struggling to afford this more than ever.

It is clear my parents know we are struggling with financial difficulty, maybe not to the extent we are doing. We have made cuts to the business but can’t help but feel the next step is to have the conversation that we can’t keep paying him what we are - which is more than my husband and I are currently taking home.

My dad has also crashed the van we hired for him several times causing a significant amount of damage - damage we are now having to fix ourselves as the excess is for a fleet of vans and is too much. He has not offered to help with the cost or offered any time to help fix the van.

My dad was supposed to come in as a manager type, and although the work is manual and hard, has caused more problems by arguing over instructions, letting staff get away with things and failing to follow instructions.

We really have tried. This is causing a wedge now as me and my husband are arguing about it and we are now distant from my parents, who we once had a really close relationship with. The bottom line is my dad is resentful he can’t retire yet and that is coming out in his attitude to work.

We truly did this for the right reasons as I love my dad very much - but I can’t see a way out of this situation and it is really affecting me.

OP posts:
MiddleagedBeachbum · 27/11/2023 21:36

Just be honest and tell him you’re sorry but can’t afford him anymore

AL1403 · 27/11/2023 21:38

Thank you. I feel like I’m losing my mind

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 27/11/2023 21:43

Agh god.

The worst thing you can do is crash the business. It will serve no one.

Bite the bullet and explain that you are taking home half what he is and you simply cannot carry on paying him

At least the economic crunch means you can get rid of what sounds like a terrible employee (although doubtless a lovely dad)

He’ll need to stop hitting things but there are plenty of driving jobs so he won’t starve

AL1403 · 27/11/2023 22:05

Your last comment really made me laugh, thank you

OP posts:
WeightWhat · 27/11/2023 22:08

what does you mum think? Surely they have some idea?

AL1403 · 27/11/2023 22:16

Yes she does understand. Maybe she’s waiting for us to say something, I’m not sure. We’re not a family who is good at dealing with conflict

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 27/11/2023 22:18

I'd sit him and explain you can no longer afford his salary and you will need to reduce his wage to x amount otherwise the business will go under. If you can I'd probably stagger the reduction to give him time to find a new job

OhwhyOY · 27/11/2023 22:23

Another vote here for just be honest- you love him, you don't want to make life hard for him by letting him go so have tried really hard to find a way around it, but unfortunately you can't afford to pay him any more.

As an aside will you replace him with someone cheaper or just do without? If the former maybe worth offering him the job at a lesser salary, noting that's all you can afford, so you won't be accused of binning him off unfairly.

Sorry this has been such a nightmare, always best to separate work and friends/family I think or else it can quickly become very complicated...

AL1403 · 27/11/2023 22:28

Thank you both - I hope that we can resolve it with time and believe we probably can as we are a close family and would all be gutted to lose that.

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