To respond to passive agg friend

[Pourmeaglassx]

In a friendship group. One couple we are very close to. Over the last couple of years our finances have changed, DH had a well deserved promotion and we moved house. Never went into details about finances with this couple. I get the feeling they are struggling to relate and it’s coming out in passive aggressive remarks. It was a big birthday for me last month and I bought an expensive pair of shoes that I’ve always wanted. Group chat (of pals including this couple) asked what I’d had for my bday and I told them. Later on husband of friend posts pictures of copies on the shoes into the chat and said he couldn’t tell any different, we could have just bought fakes. We laughed it off.
We recently visited them and the wife asked us about a restaurant we had visited (a pricier place), i give her a run down of the meal and her husband chimes in that it wouldn’t fill his back tooth. On the whole other than remarks he is pretty cold shoulder with us recently. Make plenty of conversation with him as we always do but it’s hard to get him to engage.
It’s pretty obvious he is feeling off with us and I genuinely don’t know how to make it right. Whenever any of our couple friends (all part of the same group) have anything happy happen to them we all discuss and celebrate for one another. We try and steer topics away from anything that could be considered ‘show off-y’, as life hasn’t always been like this for us. It just so happened it was my bday so these two events were a bit special.
Part of me feels like we should back away as it feels like the relationship is going to turn sour but they are part of a wider friendship group who we cherish. We’ve all had some lovely times together- this couple included.

It sounds like he might be struggling with the fact you and DH have has some success and things are better for you now but maybe him and wife are struggling. Might be coming from a place of envy. I don't know whether there is anything you can do , I personally wouldn't confront him as I think that would cause more issues and other members of the group might take their side which would leave you with no friendship group. I'd say just carry on being polite but maybe focus more on other couples in the group and not try to force the conversation with him if he is going to be stand-offish.

I recently read that, when you change, your associates from who you were before fall away because you are no longer that person. (Not put it at all how I read it!)

You didn't choose this extra money, but it is here anyway, and it allows you different choices - I think you are right to distance yourself from this friend, as he obviously cannot cope with it, but it's who you are now and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Life ebbs and flows whether we like it or not.

It does sound like jealousy.

we were in a friendship group where we were the youngest couple in the smallest house. Both had promotions but didn’t ever speak about finances. One year we had a holiday in USA then came home and put our house on the market, moved to a bigger house. This meant we had the biggest house in the group (not by much). One friend went round saying to others we moved house to make a point and outdo the friendship group. (We moved because our 3 dc all had different sleep needs and ideally needed their own rooms, and we were in a position to do that).

This is what I feel is happening. They’ve had lots of happy events happen for them recently that we’ve celebrated. They’ve definitely had ‘more’ than us in the past. But it’s never been a competition. It’s just starting to feel like we can’t be ourselves/have to edit everything we say/walk on eggshells.
we do a lot together as a group so can’t really avoid him. Especially since we get on really well with his wife.