Childcare arrangements

[notsignedupforthis]

Hey, looking for some perspective here, am I over reacting?
My ex dp and father of the dc has got the huff with me because I've had a minor life success.
Because of this he has bypassed me to make school collection arrangements with dd1 age 13. Obviously still a minor. I am the main carer and have the dc 90% of the time, am I right in thinking he needs to go through me to make arrangements or am I being inflexible?

Hmm. I'd say at 13 he can quite easily coordinate contact arrangements with your child.

Why does it aggrieve you so much?

I rarely discuss arrangements with my ex. I just discuss with my teen DC. They sort it out

This is going to sound sarcastic but I don’t mean it to (really!)…. Why do you want to be involved? What difference would it make?

As long as the child tells you the arrangements let him do it directly with the 13 year old

From a practical point of view, with 2 to collect from different locations which involve driving. I've no problems with him organising stuff, just a heads up would be good. If dd hadn't mentioned anything I would have gone and sat at the bus stop waiting with dd2 and then flapped like hell when the bus arrives with no dd1. We live outa town.
Normally he would do this, he's apparently feeling extra cloak and dagger this week, eye roll.

I think at age 13 it's good for DD to start talking to her dad about arrangements. It's like how you used to organise play dates for her but now she plans her own social life and just check with you.

I disagree with PPs. At 13, it’s not DD’s responsibility to organise communication between you and her dad. It also wouldn’t be fair or appropriate for them to arrange things without your knowledge - as their arrangements also rely on your availability, and have an impact on your life.

YANBU, asking for him to communicate clearly with you is not unreasonable.

Thanks all. My opening post might have come across as a bit petulant but it wasn't meant that way. When he's on form and happy he does run things past me first as we don't live within walking distance of bus routes, or near anywhere for that matter.
I play everything by the book and always accommodate his changes of plans, and ad hoc work extras which happen most months with a simple no problems just let me know when you can attitude so the dc know whats happening.