To ask how to give up worrying about finances?

[MPSH]

Worrying about money seriously hampers my enjoyment of things. I am not rich and we will never be but I earn 30k and DH similar and it’s enough to have a good standard of life. We have a small amount of saving for emergencies, easily pay all our bills, shop in nice supermarkets and our only debt is a car loan. Supportive family network too and we all look out for one another and would never see anyone else short. AIBU to be so terribly worried about money and does anyone else feel this way? I wonder if no amount would ever be enough. We’re TTC and I know we can afford it as we’ve budgeted and done the maths. I just worry about costs cropping up. The news doesn’t help. Unsure if this is just normal or whether other people plod along and don’t really think twice about it after their bills/savings are paid.

You seem comfortable so YABU to be worrying like this.

I think it’s normal to worry about finances, especially at the moment with the cost of living crisis etc etc, plus if TTC then obviously that’s a whole other life changing thing to think about as well.
The best ways to stop yourself worrying too much is to just be really aware of how much you’re really spending. Maybe go through some of your subscriptions and stopping any you don’t need or didn’t realise you pay for. Could you spend less on the food shop each week by buying cheaper versions of things and sticking to a budget. Do you make sure you put away a certain amount each month for savings / investing.
As they say, Knowledge is Power, so knowing exactly where your money is going and how you’re using it will help give peace of mind.
I’m coming to the end of my maternity leave and although my husband earns a decent wage it’s really noticeable how little is left over once the mortgage and bills are paid, so that is worrying.

I find it hard not to worry too. But as a practical suggestion, I recommend the book You Need A Budget and the accompanying budget system YNAB (app and web browser) there’s lots of YouTube videos explaining the method too. It’s been life changing.

Do a budget planner (eg on Money saving expert), and start putting money aside for annual and less regular costs (eg, Christmas, car tax, holidays).

The thing about worrying is that it's such a negative, pointless, useless thing to do.

The only thing I've found that works for me is to "take a day off worrying". so for example I'll tell myself that tomorrow I'm having a day off from worrying and i a worry creeps into my head, i'll tell myself it's my day off, i'll worry about that tomorrow. And funnily enough, I very often don't worry about it tomorrow.

I’m worrying at the moment as dh’s job might be cut (company wide redundancies) and although we have more savings than ever, we will need a new car within the next year and as a family of 5 (including 3 teens) we need a big car. That’ll wipe out our savings (if there’s anything left after dh’s redundancy - not a great package being offered sadly). Hate feeling financially insecure. We’ve worked really hard to get in a good position, been sensible etc but all that could be quickly wiped out.

Could you counteract negative worries with positive blessings?

When negative thoughts enter your head, think about one of the positives from your opening post i.e. "I feel positive today because we can pay our bills" or "I feel positive today as we added to our savings last month".

Sensible worry is healthy, it can stop you from doing stupid things, but it can get out of hand

I think it’s either in you or it’s not. We are absolutely fine money wise and I just can’t spend it. I used to be church mouse poor and grew up with constant money worries. It will never leave me.