To think if you're throwing an engagement party, food should be provided?

[meggy96]

Was invited to an engagement party of an old friend last week with about 100 other people, it was in our university city where many of us have since moved away from with many of us having to travel around 3 hours to attend plus book overnight accommodation which we were more than happy to do, but of course it isn't cheap. The party was in a function room in a pub and the invite said the hosts would be taking care of the food, but when we arrived it turned out there had been some crisps which had all been eaten already - there was no other food and no drinks were paid for either.

We ended up having to spend quite a bit of money all in, including presents, travel, accommodation and had also arrived having not eaten dinner because the invite said food was provided.

AIBU to feel slightly annoyed by this?

It's irrelevant if food should be provided for these occasions or not. For this occasion you were told there would be food so yanbu for expecting food.

Not unreasonable at all, crisps are not sufficient food if people are travelling long distances in the expectation of a meal of some sort. How thoughtless and inhospitable.

Were you late?

If the crisps were gone maybe so were the other items?

Food should have been provided.

We arrived about an hour after the start time but it was very much an 'join when you can, we're here all night!' sort of thing, and the host said there had only been some crisps which had run out.

That's not very polite, was there anything else for to order yourself?

How embarrassing for them.

It's not throwing a party if you don't provide food and (some) drinks, I think. It's just booking a room!

Reminds me of a wedding with zero food on arrival at the reception venue except scattered bowls of crisps which had all be eaten by the time most of the wedding guests had made it from the church. Then a very long wait until the wedding breakfast. Everyone was hungry and grumpy. Feed your guests, people!!

I'd have been tempted to order a (single) pizza to the venue and eaten it passive aggressively in the corner

Don’t go to the wedding-it will be one of those shit ones where you stand around for hours absolutely starving and then get a measly meal and you will spend £600 just to attend.

It’s awful hosting. People shouldn’t hold parties they can’t afford to do properly.

Of course food should be provided at a celebratory event- it's part of most cultures to feed your guests!!!

They are tightwads. Thoughtless and selfish. If you can't afford food at that venue, book a cheaper room and feed people!

Id remember this when it comes to their wedding gift but I'm in a super petty Monday morning mood today

That's a very poor show. You can't invite people to a party, expect them to travel miles and boom hotels and not provide decent food and some drinks. (Well you obviously can as that's what your friend did, but I'd be mortified if I'd been the host). I'm surprised a lot of people didn't just leave to search our food?

At least now you can set your expectations of what the hen party and wedding will be like, based on these ‘hosting’ skills, and can choose whether it’ll be a decline or not.

This is your warning to what the rest of the dos will be like OP. If you go, eat well before hand and take a packed lunch.

I wouldn't necessarily expect free drinks but I would certainly expect a buffet.
I've never been to a party that hasn't had a buffet or pie and peas

Incredibly stingy. I think I’d be ‘busy’ on the day of the actual wedding. No way I’m investing in a second gift and all of the costs a wedding entails if they can’t even be arsed to provide a few pizzas at the pre do.

Engagement parties are just weird events. Have a few glasses of champagne with close family or friends by all means, but no really one wants to go to a party before the main event. Especially one with no actual food or drink. Utterly pointless.

If you expect people to celebrate with you (especially if they need to travel) and to buy you presents then you need to host a party. Not book a room.

This here.

I would probably always put on food particularly if I knew people were coming that distance but wouldn't always expect food, e.g. if it was just an informal 'meet at a pub' (as in just go there, without a specific function room booked) or 'drinks at our house,' type party could go either way. But for proper, invites and room booked parties then yes, would expect it. And if the invite specifically referred to food then of course I'd expect it, and not just a few crisps either! Agree with the other posters, maybe rethink your availability for the rest of the wedding!

It was awful to say they were providing food when all they did was pop out some crisps. I wonder if they had expected you all to eat before you got there so decided just to give nibbles?

@fadingfast they are weird- come to celebrate us as a couple making a mutual agreement 🎉this will involve at least two more events celebrating this. (I’d never attend an engagement party, if I knew anyone who’d have one)

Thinking about it, I'd have left and gone for a curry or similar. After you've said hello, congratulations, etc - if there's no food, what else is there to do?

No food or even a drink on arrival isn’t a party. I’d have been v miffed (and hungry).

That's really piss poor of them!

I'd swerve the wedding!

No class. All ass.