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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how honest I should be with my employer?

70 replies

anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:24

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant and my employer is wanting to know my plan for my maternity leave.

However, I already know that I'm not going to return after baby is born. I know people on here have different views on this, but I'm planning to be a SAHM for at least a couple of years. I already have one DC who has SEN and very high needs so it makes sense for us a family currently.

I don't want to be in a situation where I take maternity leave then have to pay it back. My company offers enhanced pay for the first couple of months, so in my contract it does say that I have to return to work for a minimum amount of time. I've also been told going part time isn't an option so it's not like I can return PT then hand my notice in.

What should I do? I don't want to mislead them, but then I also don't want to hand my notice in just yet. Need advice as I'm so stuck on the best way to approach this.

OP posts:
Nomnomnom66 · 27/11/2023 09:26

If I were you, I would say nothing, then return and do the minimum required for enhanced maternity pay, then quit.

Chalkdowns · 27/11/2023 09:27

Say you are not quite sure yet

Twiglets1 · 27/11/2023 09:28

I would say you’re not sure of your plans at the moment.

Original poster
anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:28

@Chalkdowns I'm wondering how long I can keep saying that though before they need a definitive answer. I suppose I could hold off until I actually want to hand my notice in

OP posts:
Temporaryanonymity · 27/11/2023 09:29

You don’t have to tell them anything, legally.

If you don’t want to say anything you can take the enhanced pay and keep it stashed away somewhere. That way you can pay it back easily.

Original poster
anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:29

The thing is, they keep asking. This is the second meeting I've had in a couple of weeks where they've wanted to know what my plan is.

OP posts:
Temporaryanonymity · 27/11/2023 09:29

Btw you just need to give your usual contractual noticed before the end of your maternity leave.

DoIReallyNeedToDoThis · 27/11/2023 09:30

You don’t have to tell them your plans at this point. But you won’t be able to have the enhanced pay and not pay it back if you leave without returning.

DoIReallyNeedToDoThis · 27/11/2023 09:31

How long do you need to go back for?

Original poster
anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:31

@DoIReallyNeedToDoThis 3 months I believe

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 27/11/2023 09:32

anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:28

@Chalkdowns I'm wondering how long I can keep saying that though before they need a definitive answer. I suppose I could hold off until I actually want to hand my notice in

You won’t need to say for sure for months yet. If they force you to give them an idea, which they shouldn’t legally do, say you will probably return to work.

Twiglets1 · 27/11/2023 09:34

anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:31

@DoIReallyNeedToDoThis 3 months I believe

It was 3 months when I had my babies. That was a while ago now! But what I hadn’t appreciated was that you continue to accrue annual leave while you’re on maternity leave. So you actually don’t need to work a whole 3 months to keep the maternity money, if that’s a consideration.

SkankingWombat · 27/11/2023 09:34

Just keep repeating you don't know yet. In some ways this is honest, as who knows what might happen in the next 12 months - DH could lose his job or get sick for instance, in which circumstances you might be forced to go back and would be grateful you hadn't burnt your bridges.
It's understandable that work would want to know, but you're under no obligation to tell them and you need to protect yourself with options.

Original poster
anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:36

Don't I have to tell them the date I want to go on maternity leave and my return date a minimum amount of weeks before? I'm sure they asked me to do this last time, but I can't be certain as it was a few years ago now.

OP posts:
Original poster
anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:39

I'm due March, but I'm thinking I should hand my notice in at the beginning of January so then I can work my notice period (4 weeks) and have the maternity leave off that I would have done anyway?

OP posts:
jollyjeffrey · 27/11/2023 09:40

They have to work on the basis that you're taking full year. If you want to come back before then you need to give them 8 weeks notice of that. For example if you planned to come back after 40 weeks of Mat leave you need to tell them in week 31.

You don't need to make any commitment now while pregnant, and I've always been trained not to ask.

If you want to communicate anything perhaps say you're thinking of taking the full year and will let them know if things change.

If you are going to accept the additional payments you will need to save them to pay back if you don't intend to return.

itsallnewnow · 27/11/2023 09:42

I might be being thick but what's the benefit of keeping it a secret?
If you are certain you're not going to return just tell them and don't accept the enhanced benefits Confused it will be a pain trying to sort out repaying them tbh.

If you're not sure either way I can see it totally makes sense to keep your options open!

Coffeeandcrocs · 27/11/2023 09:43

They dont have to pay you maternity leave if you do that, OP

Why don't you just save the enhanced Mat pay and hand it back at the end when you leave if you decide you cant work the 3 months notice

Original poster
anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:44

@Coffeeandcrocs That's why I'm planning on leaving before maternity leave starts

OP posts:
OnlyFannys · 27/11/2023 09:48

How much enhanced pay do you get? If it will male a significant difference would it not be worth considering just working the 3 months? As pp said you accrue annual leave as well so could work out less than that anyway?

Mumoftwoboysaged4and5 · 27/11/2023 09:51

As previous poster says you accrue holiday so I would take the enhanced mat leave and then use your holiday leave to cover the three months. That way you can hand in your notice after your mat leave and still work your 3 months (except you won’t need to work much as you’ll be using leave).

For the sake of a couple of months of work it seems mad to give away your entire enhanced mat leave.

also you don’t know what your situation will be like in a year, you may want/need to go back to work, so it’s better to have that option open. If you leave before mat leave and your partner looses their job/gets ill then you’ll regret not having the back up option.

Original poster
anon1312 · 27/11/2023 09:52

@OnlyFannys Yeah but once enhanced pay stops, I'm on half pay for 6 months and then nothing for the last 3. At the minute, my DP works full time as do I and we get a tiny bit of UC as a top up each month. If I'm correct, UC doesn't adjust in line with a drop in earnings due to maternity pay?

OP posts:
Peablockfeathers · 27/11/2023 09:53

If you are definitely not planning on going back even for the 3 months (which will be less with annual leave etc) then I don't understand why you wouldn't tell them? It saves them paying the enhanced maternity pay and saves you having to arrange paying it back.

If you're unsure or if you think working the bare minimum in order to keep the enhanced pay is worthwhile then just agree a date and don't say you plan to leave, just hand your notice in when you're back. If you aren't sure then I'd agree a date and hand your notice in before you're due to return, worth not spending a penny of the enhanced pay though if you might do this but it leaves your options open; lots can happen in a year and having a job to go back to might be a decent safety net.

RadRad · 27/11/2023 09:53

I would leave it open until baby arrives as things change when babies are born and plans change accordingly. I wanted the full year off and did, but towards the end of it I was desperate to go back, which I didn't expect. You don't need to give a definitive answer now OP.

Morag273 · 27/11/2023 09:59

I would keep repeating you aren’t sure of your plans but you think you intend to take the full year. Do not offer any more than this and legally you don’t have to tell them anything. Then take your full years maternity leave and hand your notice in when you “return”. You will have accrued holiday so you can then take your holiday when you “return” and unlikely you will have to work at all. You may even be able to take unpaid leave/may end up on sick leave if you get ill from your little one at nursery!

Being employed offers many benefits and you don’t know what’s around the corner - your DH may lose his job, your company may go under and you may get paid redundancy. It is worth keeping yourself employed. There is no harm in it. Stash your enhanced maternity pay into a savings account.

Contact some charities for advice if you still aren’t sure. Maternity Action or Pregnant Then Screwed.

Stay strong! Don’t let them bully you. You don’t have to tell them anything.