Teacher Xmas presents

[bakingmummy21]

DD is in year 1. Last Xmas parents in the class all put in £10 for a joint gift for the teacher, TA etc. At the end of the year we did “put in how much you can afford / want to” for gifts.
This Xmas it was again suggested to put in whatever you wanted to / could, I went with £10 again.
It then became apparent that other parents were putting in up to £25 and lo and behold some are now upset because they’re putting in more than others.
We hadn’t actually transferred money yet so still time to amend etc.
But AIBU to think that if you agree to everyone putting in what they want you can’t then be annoyed if someone doesn’t put in as much as you? And also £25 seems quite a lot to be putting in for teacher Xmas gifts?! I have 3 DC so if every class was asking for £25 I’d be spending £75!!

£25 is an obscene amount to spend, individual gifts that large would have had to be declared to the principal at my school. £5 Costa voucher and a handmade card from your child with a sentence on what they liked learning so far this year is more than enough and teachers would probably prefer it, a small token to show your thanks (if you want to). During a CoL crisis where some parents are struggling to feed their children or heat their homes I'd feel most uncomfortable receiving a substantial gift

Just a hand made card. Then repeat at end of year. Or it will be £50 for you per teacher. Ouch! Is this a private school?

As much or as little as you like, but there should be a rule of no discussing/shaming whatsoever.

Another option is just to say you're doing your own thing, and do what works for you (no gift/card, card, card and small gift/voucher). I think a nice plant in a pot is a good gift if you choose to get something - they can take it home or leave in school during term time.

I don’t think teachers should get gifts - home cards are fine but the pressure on parent to buy gifts can be enormous.

This is crazy money . I’m getting my ds teacher a box of chocolates from the pound shop . I’ll get the support staff a big box of chocolates to share leading up to Xmas . Why spend so much Xmas is expensive enough!

I've always given a £10 Amazon voucher in a card DC wrote out.

I don't do money into kittys. I just get a box of chocolates or bottle of wine.

Whoever is organising it just needs to remind the parents that its a ‘put in whatever you want’ situation and leave it at that.

Mostly retired teacher here. (Secondary sector.)

I always discourage children and parents from giving me Christmas presents. It's a sweet thought, but I find it embarrassing - I'm only doing my job and parents have enough to spend money on without worrying about teachers.

Some parents were kind enough to give me a present when I married and I didn't mind that so much, since it was a one off and very kind of them.

Retired teacher here. The best gift is a card with up to three sentences expressing thanks. Appreciation is always very highly valued; I’ve kept mine. Nothing else compares. Swerve the financial contributions, OP.

£25 each is crazy! And presumably another gift at the end of the year - is that cash too?

Teacher here and presents make me feel guilty when I know families are struggling. Cards from the kids are lovely and a box of Maltesers if you really want to get something!

The headteacher of a school my friend teaches at sent a letter out several years ago saying the teachers presents were un necessary & getting out of hand & putting pressure on parents. It was suggested IF people wanted to buy a gift then it was done as a class collection with a maximum of £2 per family.

My pal said it was genius. No pressure on parents & with 27 in her class she got a lovely gift set of her favourite perfume. So something she'd use & no need to take 14 Best Teacher mugs to the charity shop.

If people do want to spend money at Christmas can I suggest the Brownie & Scout leaders & others who give up their free time to run unpaid groups for kids. A colleague of mine does Brownies & Girls Brigade & her husband is a scout leader. They give up so much of their time, and money to run the organisations & rarely get so much as a card.

It’s not a private school. The class has a teacher and 2 TAs plus we agreed to get something for the PE teacher and the office staff. The theory apparently was that if you bought individually and spent £5 on each then that’s £25. However I wouldn’t spend £5 on each of those if it was just me. And I thought the point of buying together was to combine so teacher doesn’t get multiple bottles of wine / box of chocs etc but could get a voucher of a decent amount (say £50). Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks that £25 is too much.

Yes and at the end of year last year people were putting even more money in (but at that time the disparity in contributions wasn’t brought up as an issue).

It's a pressure parents choose to put on themselves.

This comes up at every end of term. The majority of teachers would say to you that all they would like is a card with a personal message, or an email, copied to the head or line manager.

It really shouldn’t be a competition as to who can put the most money in the kitty. Taking the time and trouble to write a personal message in a card or email is far more valuable.

I think some parents, well mothers, feel the pressure of other parents, well mothers.

It really isn't - the teacher used to display her presents, at Christmas, Easter, her birthday and the end of year. Dc used to come home and say the teacher is getting gifts from all the other kids - now I don't see that as pressure parents put on themselves, it's a tacky as a boasty facebook post on Christmas morning. Schools should be an end to it.

I've organised a few of these over the years and I always say give what you want and no pressure to contribute and then sign from all the children in the class as a collective rather than individual names.

I neither keep track nor care who has or has not contributed and how much. I simply see the total at X date and buy vouchers usually with that amount.

This was supposedly the principle and almost everyone has this mindset but unfortunately how much people have contributed has come up in “playground chat” amongst the parents and someone has taken offence to others putting in less (despite agreeing to the approach initially) 🤦‍♀️

I'd be totally embarrassed and uncomfortable if a class did that. I'm a ta not a teacher and in all the years I've worked I've never once seen presents or cards displayed that's appalling.
A freddo was my favourite gift last year, it actually made me cry because I know it meant everything to the child who gave it to me.

In my opinion, it is not a matter of who does what or even if one person works with thirty pupils, another works with one pupil and yet another organises a group etc. It is more the case that there has been a collection for all the staff, this includes the teacher and anyone else considered to be staff in that context.

It is a collection for the team, the team who work with the children in whatever capacity they work with the children. Excluding TAs who work on a one to one basis is wrong in this context.

Sorry, I think I have posted on the wrong thread :(