I have always been a very good listener, am empathetic and give (what I think is) good advice. I seem to be my friends and family’s ’go to’ if they need a shoulder to cry on, someone to discuss their issues with.
Recently two of my friends have been taking up a ridiculous amount of my time speaking about their problems. One of them had an affair, ruined his marriage and is completely obsessed with his new DP and the other friend has marital problems which have been going on for 18 months.
I’m beginning to get sick of constantly being called upon for advice (which they don’t take) and listening to them speak about their problems during 90% of our interactions together. I went to Dublin with the first friend last month and it is ALL he spoke about. I must have only discussed my life for about 5 minutes!
I’m 11 weeks pregnant (neither of them know yet) and I really have bigger and better things to be focusing my energy on. I even feel that it is beginning to have an impact at work (I work with the friend who left his husband).
I hate confrontation and don’t want to be rude. I also think it would be difficult to say I don’t want to hear about your problems. But I’m hoping for some advice on how I can communicate my boundaries whilst not coming across as a terrible friend who isn’t interested in their problems?