To not buy present?

[SybilBranson]

Well a proper present. I’m a nanny and the family I work for got me a voucher last year for £50. I gave the kids selection boxes and the parents a bottle of spirit they like and chocolates.
This year, I literally cannot afford to do the same. Perhaps only a card and some chocolates. I spent about £60 This year collectively on birthday presents for the children but it is different at Christmas, I have my own family and obligations to pay for and I really don’t want to put a strain on my finances when the children will receive everything they ask for already from their parents, grandparents and aunts/uncles as they are all very well off.

I find things like this hard because lines get so blurred as a nanny when you’re working in their house and you’re seen as one of the family rather than the childcare. But at the end of the day, I’m there because they pay me to be.

AIBU to just give cards and a tub of chocolate for the whole family knowing they will most likely get me a voucher around £30-50?

No, I don't think that's unreasonable at all OP. You're offering them a token gift, and that's fine, if they don't like it, they should increase your wages.

Absolutely fine.
To be blunt, employees shouldn't be expected to buy for employers. They shouldn't mind at all!

Hey op it’s fine. As a former nanny employer I think that’s a great compromise. I do not want presents from my nanny xxx

I have just got a nanny for a few afternoons and I would really not want or expect her to get gifts for the kids/us - I’ll buy her one of course but YANBU at all.

Absolutely no need to reciprocate. Their gift to you is - in part - a thank you for all the work you do for them. A token gift either each or to the family as a whole is fine

Okay Thanks everyone I’m feeling way less stressed and it’s shaved about £25 off my outgoings to be spent more efficiently.

They are a lovely family and after a decade of not great and some downright awful employers, I’m really glad to be working for them. I would buy a gift if I could, it’s just not in the budget this year.

If your feeling generous, you could offer to watch the kids when they go on a date night but in all honesty nothing is expected

Christmas is NOT about presents

this is fine OP

Have you got a nice photo you've taken of the kids? Id get that printed out and put in a frame (use free prints and you can lovely frames from b&m/home bargains).

Then get the kids a £1 selection box.

With all due respect, do you offer your employer free labour as a Christmas gift? I dont think anyone would suggest something like this with any other job role. My time is valuable and I’m working I absolutely intend to be paid for it. Not to mention if I worked an evening for date night, that’s £50 I would be losing out. Which is a massive difference between a £16-18 bottle of gin and some chocolate.

Employees should not be expected to buy presents for their employers.

I am going to get my nanny employers a cinema gift card; probably £20. I will get my charge a book or something similar.

Its really hard, as a nanny, to know what to do. My gifts have always been just something small to say 'i appreciate you.'

A few years ago I nannied for a family with 3 kids. I spent £20 each on the kids and got the parents a bottle of wine. I know damned well I spent more than that candle that they gave me. To be fair, that was unusual.. I normally get £200+ (or similar valued gift) but I decided then and there that I needed to scale back on nanny family gifts.

I know you said you weren't keen on offering a free babysit but I have done that in the past if I really couldn't afford a gift. It saves paying out and you can make a nice voucher saying something like "Enjoy a night out; I'm offering a free 3 hour babysit".

I know you said you weren't keen on offering a free babysit but I have done that in the past if I really couldn't afford a gift. It saves paying out and you can make a nice voucher saying something like "Enjoy a night out; I'm offering a free 3 hour babysit".

I get what you’re saying but if they find the time to have date night, they’ll ask me and pay me accordingly as they don’t have other childcare options. So the fact I already don’t earn enough to spare £25 on Xmas gifts, I’m not going to lose out on wages. If I’m working, I want to be paid.

I'm sure there was a thread not too long ago from the other side with the 'norm' for Nanny employers at Christmas being a week's wages. If that is correct and unless you are working only a few hours a week the gift card from last year was no where near the 'norm' so I wouldn't worry too much if you go with a tub of chocolates collectively - it's a token as was their gift to you last year.

I saw that thread. I certainly do not get a weeks worth of wages as a Christmas bonus 😂

When we had a nanny I was always surprised (and grateful) whenever she bought gifts for LO. However it was never expected and I felt a bit bad that she spent her money on a kid that , as you said, gets everything and then some from family anyway.

A card is plenty.

I was offering you a solution but it all honesty its your decision. I chose not work and so I'm not in your position. I've also never employed a nanny but do think £50 voucher is on the lower end of bonuses. My DH staff get a cash bonus, a hamper and those with children also get chocolates for the kids. The place is also shut for the week which they get paid for, although they are expected to work the first Saturday back, to help if theirs a back log. I'm sure a card a box of chocolates will be plenty

YANBU. A tub of chocolates and card is more than enough.

From reading the other thread, it sounds like £50 is quite a small gift from employer to nanny. I wouldn’t be spending the same as them, they’re the employer.

M&S has a chocolate version of the connect 4 board game for £10, this is my go to gift for all kids this year.

I would expect you to get a token gift for each child, something like a small toy or a chocolate reindeer, and to be honest chocolate is better to avoid any arguing from kids. I would expect a card for the whole family, nothing more.
I think it’s very strange that you are even thinking of buying a gift for parents.