To ask the biggest thing you have forgiven? And whether you could forgive this?

[hakai]

2 years ago my partner and I (while I was pregnant) had a fucking awful time. We argued and it was massively due to circumstance. He ended up leaving me to give birth alone and only started seeing our daughter when she was 8 months old. Since then we’ve met up regularly and he’s been entirely the man I knew and loved. Last week we met to do something Christmassy with our daughter and he had bought me a gift too and some flowers. We had a nice day. I still love him, I never really stopped. I have dated in the last year but my heart has never really been in it. I’ve no idea how he feels and I have no intention of raising anything. But I feel bloody crazy to even feel partly like I COULD forgive what he did. We were fully fledged adults at the time so no excuse for being too young etc.

AIBU to think I’m crazy to forgive what he did?

Agree. To forgive, you really have to let it go.
It doesn't mean you should get back together though.

My ex also did this. It was only the two of us playing. I have never forgiven him. Not joking.

I have forgiven being treated awfully. Which is fine, but I shouldn't have stayed with him. Eventually I woke up and ditched him, but I wasted far too long on someone who didn't deserve it.

I would be very wary of letting this man back into your life. Sure, let him be a father, but he really needs to prove himself over the long term if you are to even consider getting back with him. I'm not talking months. Who's to say he won't disappear again if you argue? And you have to think of the impact that would have on your child.

Yeah same for us. Just the 2 of us playing. I was so shocked, she was winning and I honestly didn’t even consider the fact she could be cheating. Absolutely blindsided me. I still joke about it every now and again but I’d never hold it against her 🤣

I think you have forgiven him to even be contemplating this. However, there is a difference between forgiving and forgetting. Never forget he cannot be trusted to put your child first. I couldn't be with a man who could do that.