Scared I might be pregnant!!

[IfOnlyWeKnewIt]

I’m mid 30s with 2 children who are 10 and 8. My periods have been odd for the last couple of years with spotting for a week before the period starts. So only 2 weeks of no bleeding. I haven’t bled for over 3 weeks and I’m thinking that maybe I’m pregnant.

Im really frightened. DH and I don’t own a house. We have 2 much older kids and only about £20k in savings. (Sorry, I know for some people that is a substantial amount).

I absolutely love babies, kids etc, so the thought of another doesn’t really scare me, but the impact it would have on my older children, and on our ability to provide for them, as well as buying a house.

Im scared, stressed and also, my husband is working away so I’m on my own and it’s just making me panic.

I feel like it’s too early to test and I’d be better holding off a little longer to see if AF arrives. I have a lot of breast tenderness, but that is also normal for me before my period arrives.

Not sure why I’m posting, I just feel like unite alone.

Do you use contraception?

When is your period due?

I think the best thing to do is to try even take an early test to put your mind at ease. You’re panicking (which is understandable) without knowing if you’re really pregnant or not. Even though it’s hard, I’d try not to worry about it until you know the result. It could just be a different type of period this month.

I know this is going to make me sound ridiculous, but I recently went on antidepressants and I was struggling with the side effects of that combined with my pill. So I stopped taking the pill. I actually have an appointment booked with my GP to discuss. We were using the withdrawal method which I know is not an effective form of contraception, but I was told the changes in my period were due to hormonal, age related changes and I might need to take some supplements to aid contraception if I wanted to fall pregnant. Which I didn’t want to.

I know I’ve been careless, but can I please ask people to be kind because I’m really worrying and on my own, so need support.

I’d say my period is due tomorrow, but the week of spotting hasn’t happened. And that has been consistent every month for a very very long time.

It’s not to early to take a test if your period would be due tomorrow. So I would get one and take it in the morning.
It surely can’t be too much of a shock to your of DH if you are having sex with no contraception.

You can’t really do anything until you take a test.

Take a test. It’ll be ok if you are. You have options and termination doesn’t have to be scary, painful or difficult at all if that’s what seems easiest. You will make it work no matter what you choose. Don’t worry unnecessarily yet, if you’re just coming off the pill your hormones will be sorting themselves out so might be a coincidence that your bleeding has changed a bit.

I couldn’t have a termination for a number of reasons. My husband isn’t here so I won’t be able to buy a test until tomorrow when the kids are in school. I feel like I’ve been so stupid! 😔

You had unprotected sex and are wondering if you could be pregnant?
And this is posted in AIBU.

There's no way of knowing unless you test
Can you order a next day test?
Don't stress even more until you know for sure, and if you are then you have choices
Your situation is more secure than you realise and your other DC will be fine

Do a test tomorrow to put your mind at rest. People do sometimes spot between periods for no good reason that we know, it doesn't always go on that way. Coming off the pill may have added to this but it can happen whilst on the pill.

If you are pregnant work out the best way you can cope. It is possible. Life is never easy and I sympathise but things happen and people get past them.

Good luck.

@ZekeZeke you should be able to read from my posts that I know I am BU. I know I’ve completely messed up. Like I said, I was struggling mentally so haven’t been as careful as I would have otherwise been.

I know it’s a worry but for tonight there’s nothing you can do, if you can’t get a test.

Try relax and do something to take your mind off of it. Then see what happens when you take a test tomorrow.

No real advice that others haven't said. But save your first morning urine tomorrow and use it as soon as you get the test. Hope its the answer you want.

Hi OP, I just want to send you a hug. Like you, I had issues with contraception which led to us being more risky than we should have been (with two similar age children). I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with number 3 back in the summer, and I totally get the conflict of feelings, the guilt and the anxiety that goes with it.

I'm half way through now, and the anxiety is ebbing away. Seeing the scans and starting to feel a connection to the baby have helped, as well as seeing how enthusiastic our older children are about having a new sibling. But how you're feeling is totally normal, and you are not alone in finding yourself in this situation. I know how it feels like you've thrown your life off course!

I hope tomorrow brings you the news you want, and that either way you feel surrounded by support.

Your DH has responsibility too, it’s not just you.

How old are these ‘much older’ children? Why would a baby significantly impact them?

I hope for your sake you’re not pregnant because you don’t want it but won’t consider a termination.

In her opening post, the op said her children are 8 and 10.

I hope she comes back having done a test and got the result.

When you go out to buy the test, get some condoms as well.

I did the test and it was negative.

Wonderful news, I am really pleased for you.

Make sure you are more careful in future, I don't think you want any more scares.

Good luck.