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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get fed up hearing about how good a sleeper their DC is?!

26 replies

flossish · 13/03/2008 07:08

DD nearly six months. Still wakes a minimum of 3 times from 9-6. Recently introduced formula as will not be able to continue BF alone on return to work. SIL has a six week baby who is going for increasingly long periods at night, 11 hrs at the last count. Said in such a way 'oh dd is soo good sleeping for so long and she is only 6 weeks!' Erm, I know. I'm only able to mumble to myself in a steptoe and son sleep deprived way. I'm sure she doesn't mean it like it but good lord it feels like bragging!

OP posts:
belgo · 13/03/2008 07:09

I know exactly what you mean!

sherby · 13/03/2008 07:10

Shes lying or at least exaggerating

Most people who say their babies sleep like this are.

I should mention that my 6mth old wakes upwards of 5 times a night so I'm right there with you on the tiredness thing.

FairyMum · 13/03/2008 07:12

Compared to mine yours is actually quite a fantastic sleeper - LOL. I agree people like that are annoying, but also agree they are most likely lying or bending the truth. My policy is never to discuss sleep except for with parents whose children don't sleep well either!

chelsygirl · 13/03/2008 07:28

my ds is 6 and still a crap sleeper, so yes I agree wit the op!

Clayhead · 13/03/2008 07:39

flossish, I have a friend who had a child at the same time as my dd, her d was an excellent sleeper and mine was waking on the hour for months. Luckily, my friend was never smug about it but I was soooo jealous.

Fast forward 6 years and I have a dd who (usually!) trots off to bed happily and sleeps through and her dd struggles to get to sleep and wakes during the night.

Me and my friend have talked about it, such changes in both children. Just goes to show that these things are all phases and, just because a child is a good/bad sleeper, doesn't mean it'll stay that way!

chrissnow · 13/03/2008 07:46

I would apologise to everybody who thought I was bragging when I said how good a sleeper dd1 was (she genuinely was and I was never bragging or being cruel, I was just surprised!!) . . . . . but
fate stepped in and gave us dd2 - who at 19 months is still a crap sleeper!!!
Ah how the mighty have fallen and a bit .

Original poster
flossish · 13/03/2008 08:21

oh chrisnow, i was relatively lucky with ds, he slept through most nights at 5/6 months.

Sil was giving the baby water to make sure she didn't 'get used' to being fed at night, so i do at least feel i am doing the best for dd, just perhaps in a slower, more hazy way!

OP posts:
MioMao · 13/03/2008 08:31

hmmm well my DD was a great sleeper at 6 weeks, I was feeling very smug, all down to my superior parenting, etc etc.... then she got to 4 months, became very unsettled and didn't sleep through the night again for months and months. Maybe this woman's DD will always be a great sleeper, but her time will come... whether it's sleeping, feeding, potty-training, whatever - all children are different and come with their different challenges!

keep your chin up!

kitbit · 13/03/2008 08:39

hmm..I have a friend whose daughter eats everything she puts in front of her, and ds eats ...hmm..well...about 3 different things and that's it. I really don't think she does it intentionally, I think she really is that unaware, but nearly every time we meet up she mentions how lucky she is that her dd will eat "aaaaanything" and .
Just smile and congratulate her and know inwardly that her dd will probably be driving her mother to distraction with something else this time next year while yours has settled into a nice sleep pattern and is tranquil, happy and content......

Moorhen · 13/03/2008 09:24

My friend and I are were both knackered a couple of months back because our DCs had gone nocturnal (both 4-5months) while all her NCT group were bragging about their (younger) babies sleeping through.

In desperation she emailed and asked them all what their secrets were. And they all mailed back to say they gave a bottle when their DCs woke up, or put the dummy back in and they went straight off to sleep... basically, we'd been imagining babies getting a straight 12 hours, but their mums had edited out the little wakings.

Was quite gratified in a mean sort of way

swerve · 13/03/2008 09:25

wait till she has a second child. no doubt it will be a fussy-eating, 30-second sleeping, always shouting bundle of joy. my sister's eldest, now 10, has never slept through the night. her other 2 sleep for UK. It's got very little to do with parenting skills and an awful lot to do with personality. And those who don't need lots of sleep will no doubt be the ones running the country when they grow up!

MiniEggsMmm · 13/03/2008 10:00

My dd started sleeping through the night at six weeks. I can't say i ever remember bragging about it though.

I suppose everyone is gonna wishing i will come back in another life as a toilet brush now!

cheesesarnie · 13/03/2008 10:12

when i had my first 2 i got so cross at people telling me how great there los slept-they didnt sleep all night till they were 3 and 4 i think.but when i had 3rd dc i couldnt help but brag-i turned into the kind of person i hated but couldnt help it as i was so shocked!BUT it didnt last,after 9 months he stopped sleeping well and at 2 i still go in atleast once a night.i wish i hadnt bragged

rantinghousewife · 13/03/2008 10:14

Wait till she has another, ds (my first) was a great sleeper, boy did I get a shock with dd!

HereComeTheGirls · 13/03/2008 10:40

My DD used to be like this..slept through from early age..now she is 16mos and very lively and wakes all the time..glad I didn't brag now!!

latchmeregirl · 13/03/2008 11:12

Your SIL's time will come, flossish. Trust me it will. My friend's dd slept through (properly slept through, no feeds, no wakings) from 6 weeks - to be fair to her she was never smug - while mine woke hourly. Then, fast forward to 11 months - hers was awake until midnight then waking every 30 mins.
Neither of mine have been/are good sleepers (though dd at 3 is actually pretty good) but they both eat averagely well, dd mastered potty training without too much fuss etc etc. There's always something to worry about,I just think it's a shame one is made to feel like a failure if your baby isn't a naturally good sleeper...

snotbuster · 13/03/2008 11:49

i remember asking a friend exactly what she meant when she said her DD was sleeping through at about 3months - she said "oh she has a feed at 11.30 then another one at 3am and then wakes about 5" which was THE SAME as my DS was doing - except I didn't regard being woken twice and then at 5 as 'sleeping through'! People fib, don't let it get you down.

Anyway, 'tis well known that poor sleepers are always highly intelligent (!) Perhaps you could mention that to SIL

EffiePerine · 13/03/2008 11:50
  1. she's prob lying
  2. even if she isn't it will prob all go horribly wrong at 20 weeks and then you can gloat
WanderingTrolley · 13/03/2008 12:00

In 15+ years of dealing with babies I can count the ones who slept through from a tiny age on one hand.

I suspect a great deal of exaggeration. She may have no idea how smug she sounds.

Agree with everyone - second child/3months from now/teething etc etc....

MsPontipine · 13/03/2008 12:03

Is she bf? It doesn't sound like it? So well done to you. I wasn't able to bf though I tried so hard and I stil feel bitterly dissapointed about it now but my son slept through from quite early as they can really fill up for bed time on a formula bottle.

Bf babies tend to be little and often feeders. My bf friends were still waking a few times a night for months after my little bottle baby was snoozing away.

Now you're moving over to formula too you may find your night feeds reducing.

MsPontipine · 13/03/2008 12:09

However I'm just thinking - it's probably that lovely, snuggley last bf of the day before bedtime you're wanting to keep.

So . . . One thing to remember. All phases pass eventually - the good ones and the not so good ones. Try to make the most of the moment as it doesn't last forever xx

milkgoddess · 13/03/2008 12:22

well my dd has slept through everynight from 6 weeks till 8 months, i thought it was normal until a friend informed me otherwise!.
maybe some mums just don't know its not normal.

chocolateteapot · 13/03/2008 12:28

She is being a cow. I have two dcs that take after me in the sleep stakes and slept through early. But I would never ever mention it to anyone I know with a baby as I could imagine what it would be like if they didn't sleep.

nickytwotimes · 13/03/2008 12:31

Floss, I remember mums at my postnatal group with los sleeping through from 7 wks. However, several months later their babies were waking and mine wasn't.
Also, it's interesting what "slleping through"means - some people say this when their los sleep 1 am to 6 am, lol!

Weegle · 13/03/2008 12:39

My DS came out of hospital sleeping a 7 hour stretch at night, from 7-20 weeks he slept 7-7 and then from 20 weeks till 19.5 months he woke at least once a night, often 3 times a night and quite often taking 2 hours or so to get back to sleep. Nothing I as a parent did changed. Nothing I did made any difference (I blame teething). Then one day it changed back (ish, now 8pm-6.30am). It's luck of the draw. And one day your SIL will learn that!