To think small group chats for different relatives make life easier

[quizmasterr]

What do you think of group chats in a family context?

I have one with my parents and siblings (DH not in it) and DH has one with his parents and siblings that partners are not in.

I am wondering whether to set one up between me, DH and my parents in law. He's not very organised and it tends to be me communicating with my MIL and we both send photos of the kids to FIL and MIL but I thought having a group chat may make life easier. DH thinks it's obnoxious and annoying.

Would you be annoyed if your DIL or MIL set up a small whatsapp group to help keep in touch?

We just have everyone in. Wouldn't it be easier to just add you to his and him to yours?

I think it's perfectly reasonable

I like what's app groups for family. I live a distance from my family and I think it means I get included in things like photo sharing, where I wouldn't usually. My sister is unlikely to send me a specific picture of my niece because it feels like you have to respond etc, but on what's app a little thumbs up doesn't feel rude

My inlaws like having us both on one because they can send one text to both of us which increases the likely hood of a response in general but especially something like when you are arriving if they don't know who's driving

I personally don't mind the idea - I have one for my family and one with some of my ILs.
But your DH hates the idea and it's his family so I would leave it there if it were me.

Sounds sensible. Don't understand why it would be obnoxious? Not much different to what you are both doing now.

I'm on DH's family's group chat along with all the partners and most of the children (older ones) plus some of their partners. It makes life easier if we are all on the same page when discussing or organising events, etc. Most of the time it is just a nice way of everyone keeping in touch and sharing photos - and siblings gently teasing each other!

I have one for my family, which has me, my parents, siblings and sil. DH is not in it, but he doesn’t speak the language and doesn’t really care about getting pictures of my niece, or whether my parents have arrived safely on holiday.
he has one with his parents and sibling, which is not very active. I have one with pil to send pics of the children, because DH doesn’t really.
so I think absolutely reasonable, but ask DH, maybe he would rather add you to his.

@Zamzamzamdeedah @Nevermind31 DH doesn't want to add me to his as none of the partners are in it! Also if we're planning on visiting or inviting them over I wouldn't necessarily want the whole of his family being party to that. Whoever set up it specially didn't add the four spouses so I don't want to push that. I think that would be more obnoxious! I would have no issue inviting him to ours.

@Paradeofrain We are all long distance too and don't do Facebook and the like so seems like a good way to keep in touch.

@GaspingGekko He doesn't hate it but he is not very interested in his phone and messages but that is part of the problem and that's why I end up organising things. He doesn't "get" whatsapp group.

@Mothership4two I think they find it a good way to keep in touch too as they all live in different places. We sister and I love sharing photos on our WhatsApp group too. It's easier than sending separate photos to mum and to dad and to sister and a nice way to keep in touch. I think I have a fear of being annoying and don't want them to think "oh no now she's set up a WhatsApp group" 😂

Next time there's a visit or an event that you need to discuss with them, set a group up then and just keep it going afterwards.

I'm kinda with your DH, having lots of WhatsApp's groups is annoying. My mum sets a new one up every single time there's a night out or something and I mute them all. I cba with the notifications so I've muted them as well so I only see things when I bother to look.

My family don’t have one (I don’t have a family in that way)

But we have three for DH’s family and they work well - wider family with general chit chat and updates; just us and PIL; and us, BIL & partner, and PIL.

I have one with my parents and brother. DP's family have one, but I have it muted - I'm only in it because he's crap at contact so I'll actually notice if there's anything important in there (there never is).

I'd like to have one with my grandparents, but honestly it's not worth the stress of trying to teach them ANOTHER new thing. They've done very well with their tech but need to keep it as simple as possible!

@Snipples That would annoy me too and I know people who do this! I just thought a general one but like the idea of waiting for something to come up and then just keep it

@ManchesterLu My PIL already have groups do they know how they work but it is similar for us in that he's rubbish with contact, replying to things, telling me what's going on...

Agree with the first para here.
We have similar - one with me, my DH and his parents; one with me, DH and my parents; I have one just me and my parents, there’s another broader family one etc.

It would be annoying if people were FOREVER messaging on them but generally it’s all good, they’re useful ways to discuss eg Xmas presents for our kids (on me DH and our parents groups), arrangements for times when we are staying with them or vice versa, or more general “kids cute pics shared a couple of times a week” on wider family group. People don’t spam them with stuff. And it saves setting new ones up for mini get togethers or events.

If your DH just isn’t interested in his phone and messages then I think it’s ok. Makes your life easier and keeps your PIL better connected. Make everyone admins and see if you can set it up for a specific purpose to start with.