To not want what I didn’t order?

[Wimpeyspread]

I put in an online order for a craft item I wanted - it comes in two different sizes, in a box of 60, and I ordered the smaller size. I got an email to say my order had been dispatched, with a copy of my order. When it arrived it was a box of the larger size, with a tin of a different brand of small items, with about half a dozen in, together with a note to say they were out of the smaller size so they substituted the larger ones.

I emailed the seller to say I did not want the larger size and would be returning it as I thought it was odd to send something I hadn’t ordered, and I had no use for the large ones, and requesting they refund the return postage. She seemed quite put out and said she thought sending the large items and a complementary tin of small items would be a nice thing to do, but that I could of course return the items.

AIBU to find it odd to send a different item without asking me if I want it?

YANBU and neither is she.

She thought she was doing a nice thing. It didn't work out. Complete the return and think nothing more of it x

I don’t know, is it that different from substitutions in a supermarket order, where you get something better or more expensive than the thing you ordered. She must have thought she was being generous I suppose.

Yes, I do think she thought she was being generous, maybe IABU. I was just disappointed it wasn’t what I wanted as I need the items, and now I have to return them and order elsewhere. I will get over it - it’s just not what I would have done

She probably didn't want to loose the sale but she should have probably at least emailed first before sending the order out.

I'd be a bit miffed too tbh. I'd have let you know they were out of stock and asked what you wanted to do personally, either cancel the order or have the big ones.

She should've checked first, it wpudk annoy me to as mow you have the hassle of returning it

Of course she should have sent what you ordered and you are totally in the right to return them and she should have accepted this with good grace and an apology for putting you out. She should pay for the postage. She absolutely should have contacted you beforehand to ask if you would be happy with the substitution. Often with craft items specific sizes or types of items are required - wonder if she was off-loading her least popular size. This is not like supermarket shopping where you have an agreement for them to substitute like for like. She was unreasonable if she was sniffy about you returning these items. Yes what she did wasn't the norm IMO.

She just wanted the money so thought she'd be a cf and just send the different size.
This is my pet peeve, if I ordered a medium jumper and got sent a large with a complimentary item I also didn't have a use for then it's just a waste of money and I still have to spend more money on the item I actually want.
Yes this has happened to me before.. I emailed and got my money back but at least they didn't give me an attitude about it, terrible customer service.

What are the items?

I'd prefer her to contact me before changing the order but neither of you is unreasonable. In the same way it's got you a bit as you felt you were the only one reasonable the opposite is true of her.

As a seller (of craft items 😄) in the sellers defence, if you have bought it from a marketplace such as Amazon or Ebay, whilst the seller should have contacted you first, there isn't any time as the marketplaces penalise you for not sending on time, so they can't wait for your response.

If you bought it from an independent website, then no, they were being CFs

I disagree. I think it really was unreasonable of the seller to have sent out a size the OP didn’t order, without checking first, which surely would have been easy enough to do. The seller should at least now be offering to pay for return postage!

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought it odd! It was the case that I wanted these particular items, and would have preferred to be contacted before so I could have explained that. It’s an independent seller, not a marketplace. They are not particularly cheap, or I wouldn’t have bothered returning them - also too bulky to go as letter post! Never mind

Stitch markers - I just really like these particular ones, and the fact that they come in a good quantity

As an update, I ordered these again off another site and they also sent me the large ones, but without the explanatory note - weird

That's so odd. 2 places that have both sent you what you didn't order?
I use different stitch markers depending on what I'm making so I'd be so annoyed if I didn't get what I wanted!

Same here - I knit mainly on smallish needles, and especially with lace I like these ones as they don’t catch and come in colours so I can mark the pattern repeats. Big ones are no use

Communication on her part would have saved her the shipping fees!

As per the first two replies really.
Of course YANBU to not want something that doesn't work for you BUT plenty of people would presumably be able to use different size ones (if 2 different traders have thought so? I presume some people must? I can't picture what these are, and I do knit) so they thought they were being helpful.

With hindsight (and a bill for return postage) I suspect they are wishing they had contacted you and checked first.