Can we have a thread for the teenage mums?

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I know it’s generally not something to be celebrated . But as someone who was a teenage mum, without support, without anyone picking up the slack….I’ve got my degree, I’ve got my post graduate degree, I teach students with learning differences, I have a nice home , I’m a granny now at 40, I’m a mum of a primary aged child with SEN with amazing gifts (professionally, musically gifted), I’m a grandma of a beautiful, clever child and I have an incredible family I wouldn’t swap for the world. I might have given birth at 15, I’m so glad I wasn’t written off though as just someone who got lost in the ether of hopelessness. As women, we need to support all of us, even the really young ones who are incredibly resilient.

My friend was a teen mum. She was in college in a different place to her home town and my mum took her in at 17. She came through so much adversity and has just recently gotten married to a lovely man. She's also worked and studied. Her daughter, that she raised entirely on her own, is in college. I have so much admiration for her. And also for you! You go girl!!!!

@Chickenkeev it wasn’t instantaneous for me, It took a bit of learning to really grasp what I was doing with parenting, we bumped along. And it was a hell of a journey, but I think that journey really gave me a sense of perspective with my academic journey. I dont know if my professors were being kind, but they said the best students they had were the mature students, the ones that were fighting for their lives to get an assignment submitted. People that really cared. As a tutor now, I’d concur with this. X

I have the utmost respect and admiration for young parents entering third level education. It must be so difficult. But ultimately worth it. But really, all the respect 🥰

@Chickenkeev it’s actually very easy to access higher education as a teen mum who happens to be clever enough to have some ucas points. It’s very supportive on paper. We get childcare credits , it’s less easy to stay there, we face financial and social struggles, we feel isolated, we really do have a hard time. We’re also elevated when it comes to post graduate tutorial positions though, I’ve been inundated with offers to tutor, it’s like our experience as a mother suddenly has some value. Crazy that 🤣x

Different country here, it was definitey not easy. It was a slog. But whatever the circumstances, well fucking.done.

Both my besties growing up were teen mums - they were great parents - I was 30 when i had my first. Definitely a learning curve

Checking in! I had my first at 15. Life at the time was a bit of a mess, left home, lived with a very abusive older boyfriend for a few years before having the guts to leave and being on my own. Was so penniless I often didn't eat so DC could. Left school without a qualification to my name. Started with symptoms of what are lifelong physical and mental health conditions.

By 30ish I was married to my lovely DH, had a teenager + a baby and had got my degree (1st - despite taking a year out after 1st year to have DC2 and then juggling study / placements with 2DC).

Now I'm 40ish DC1 is happily settled down and working with a degree of her own and is a truly amazing human. DC2 is a genius who makes me laugh every day (also has ASD). I manage my health with the support of DH and I have a career I love in which I've been able to progress. I am the "breadwinner". I bought a house that feels warm and safe.

It's rare that I tell anyone much about my life / health / history. I often avoid telling people my age, when I get the "you don't look old enough to have an x year old" I laugh and say I'm not and leave it at that. I've always preferred people think I've done ok in general than "done ok despite being a teenage Mum / disabled person / carer". But actually I worked really hard to get here, so just today, for this thread, I'm going to say so and that I'm proud of it.

Looks like this thread will only be successful for now older teenage mums who went on to make something of themselves in their own right.
You might be better starting a thread encouraging current teenage mums through their struggles, giving support and listening. Or just let it be a brag thread. Not all of us have the mental health or family support, opportunities and child care to access decent training courses or even pursue a career. I think offering support to others would be the decent thing for you to do. Not "Oh look what I did x years down the line, you could too if you met the criteria".
When you're done patting yourself on the back think how it's spiralled down since you aged and take a moment to think what kind of situation we're in to present date.
There are so many variables that it's hardly worth pointing out your success story.
No partner, no child care. Where would that get some of us? I gave birth at 22. She's 11. I was a Grammar school girl whose life was interrupted by unspeakable trauma. Yeah, life's a fucking ball.

Completely agree. There's no right age you can become a good mum. Whatever age it's content learning and growing. Your a good parent if you keep trying, not if you seem perfect

Yes please! I had DD at 17, I'd literally had my birthday a few weeks before. I had a pretty rubbish childhood where I was neglected and abused.
Happy to report that I broke the cycle, and whilst I didn't go to university, I did end up in construction management, and have out performed many of my male counterparts, ending up in higher positions than men quite a few years older than I.
I met now DH at 20, who has been an absolute star and loved DD as his own since she was 3, given that it was clear her father wasn't able to fulfil his role.
DD has had a really good life, and is gifted in STEM subjects, and is going to college to study Hugh performance engineering next year. She's a really lovely kid.
I have had another baby, who is 19 months old, and another who will probably be born in February- my babies are all SGA so I tend to be induced a bit early.

I feel like despite the odds, we've made it much further than where we started, and I'm so proud of all of us who manage to escape what people assume will be a pretty bleak life as a teenage parent, for our children to have brighter futures.

I just wanted to say well done to all of you who made this a success or at least made it through. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it was. I have a 14 year old and cannot imagine her being a mum.

I do find it sad that the dads, no matter how young, didn't step up. Or that their families at least didn't.