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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Our resident nepo baby

96 replies

JinnyJinx · 25/11/2023 17:50

I work for a mid-size fashion brand. It's a successful company and I focus on analytics I enjoy it alls great.
Recently we employed an 18 year old part-time, she's doing her degree at the same time and I'm pretty sure there is some nepotism at play (I don't recall the role being advertised, we've never done this before and her dad bought her a central London flat for her 18th birthday ....). Basically this year she is going around a bunch of roles and departments to get a feel, she is sort of helpful in some departments I guess? Then next year and the year after she will focus on digital marketing and something else. She's in office 2 days a week.
The issue is, she hasn't got to the point in her degree yet that she really understands what I'm doing and she has been put with me until the end of the year. She is competent enough, but I feel like I'm just ask her to update spreadsheets all the time and she's never actually learning. She's in 2 days a week and one of those days I work from home so I have no idea what she actually does that day?
We have some guys who are mid-late 20s who work in the finance side, they seem to have preyed upon her, specifically got her desk moved so she was basically in the middle of them all, she goes for drinks with them every week, they all flirt quite aggressively. Over heard them this week saying how they'd "rail her".
No one more senior pays her much attention, she sits in on meetings sometimes but honestly I think they forget she's there.
I asked my boss to either help me with assigning her work or move her to somewhere she's of more use and mentioned to him that these guys aren't being great with her and he said if I can't find her work to make some, just keep her busy?!
She is moving to marketing after Christmas where she will be much more useful I imagine but right now I feel so bad for her as she isn't doing much of anything and these guys are treating her like a toy.
But equally ... why is she here? There is nepotism to get jobs that your are skilled for even if not the best fit ... then there is making a job where she just what floats around to pad out her CV?

AIBU to be concerned and frustrated? I think I should speak to my managers manager and see if the concerns can be escalated? Especially about the sleazy men but also the lack of work for her to do?

OP posts:
Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 26/11/2023 14:54

Neriah · 26/11/2023 11:35

Even if she got the job through connections to the company, so damned what??? Various pieces of reserach show that 70%+ of jobs are filled by someone connected - in the real world it's also described as networking and there are websites that promote exactly this! Connections have always been important in job search - my dad landed his first job in the mill where my gran worked. And other research has suggested that lack of familial workplace connections is one of the primary contributors to unemployment amongst young people. None of which says "and they were crap at the job as a result of nepotism".

I am more concerned that she is being preyed upon by older men in the company and a more senior and experienced woman is watching this happen and doing nothing about it.

"so damn what"?? " the lack of familial connections is why unemployment is so high among young people" . And you say what's wrong with it. Whatever happened to getting a job on your own merits

YoureTheTop · 26/11/2023 14:59

"Even if she got the job through connections to the company, so damned what??? "
You've answered it in your own post: research has suggested that lack of familial workplace connections is one of the primary contributors to unemployment amongst young people.

Myfabby · 26/11/2023 15:28

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 26/11/2023 14:54

"so damn what"?? " the lack of familial connections is why unemployment is so high among young people" . And you say what's wrong with it. Whatever happened to getting a job on your own merits

Nothing suggests this girl doesn't deserve the internship - so what if she utilises merit and a possible connection? She's smart enough to be in Uni and balance that with an internship.

In OP's words, "She is competent enough''.

Sad to see grown women hating on 18 year olds. Pitiful really.

megletthesecond · 26/11/2023 15:31

We had one once. A 20yr old with brand new car and personalised number plate. Barely spoke to anyone in their couple of years with us then off they went. Did my head in.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 26/11/2023 15:37

Myfabby · 26/11/2023 15:28

Nothing suggests this girl doesn't deserve the internship - so what if she utilises merit and a possible connection? She's smart enough to be in Uni and balance that with an internship.

In OP's words, "She is competent enough''.

Sad to see grown women hating on 18 year olds. Pitiful really.

I Am not and do not "hate" on anyone!! I was taking about the nepotism opinion. Don't be twisted. I think it is abhorrent that the young woman is being predated upon

FlissyPaps · 26/11/2023 15:50

megletthesecond · 26/11/2023 15:31

We had one once. A 20yr old with brand new car and personalised number plate. Barely spoke to anyone in their couple of years with us then off they went. Did my head in.

You sound very jealous and bitter about the girls car.

She probably didn’t like her couple of years because of how unwelcoming and judgemental you all were.

Gnomegnomegnome · 26/11/2023 15:54

Does it matter how she got the job? She’s there and needs to learn.

She’s being harassed and as her current mentor it is your job to address this

megletthesecond · 26/11/2023 16:03

flis she never interacted with us. She was as quiet as a mouse and didn't chat to people or chat back. It was all very weird.

Worried2000 · 26/11/2023 16:13

JinnyJinx · 25/11/2023 17:50

I work for a mid-size fashion brand. It's a successful company and I focus on analytics I enjoy it alls great.
Recently we employed an 18 year old part-time, she's doing her degree at the same time and I'm pretty sure there is some nepotism at play (I don't recall the role being advertised, we've never done this before and her dad bought her a central London flat for her 18th birthday ....). Basically this year she is going around a bunch of roles and departments to get a feel, she is sort of helpful in some departments I guess? Then next year and the year after she will focus on digital marketing and something else. She's in office 2 days a week.
The issue is, she hasn't got to the point in her degree yet that she really understands what I'm doing and she has been put with me until the end of the year. She is competent enough, but I feel like I'm just ask her to update spreadsheets all the time and she's never actually learning. She's in 2 days a week and one of those days I work from home so I have no idea what she actually does that day?
We have some guys who are mid-late 20s who work in the finance side, they seem to have preyed upon her, specifically got her desk moved so she was basically in the middle of them all, she goes for drinks with them every week, they all flirt quite aggressively. Over heard them this week saying how they'd "rail her".
No one more senior pays her much attention, she sits in on meetings sometimes but honestly I think they forget she's there.
I asked my boss to either help me with assigning her work or move her to somewhere she's of more use and mentioned to him that these guys aren't being great with her and he said if I can't find her work to make some, just keep her busy?!
She is moving to marketing after Christmas where she will be much more useful I imagine but right now I feel so bad for her as she isn't doing much of anything and these guys are treating her like a toy.
But equally ... why is she here? There is nepotism to get jobs that your are skilled for even if not the best fit ... then there is making a job where she just what floats around to pad out her CV?

AIBU to be concerned and frustrated? I think I should speak to my managers manager and see if the concerns can be escalated? Especially about the sleazy men but also the lack of work for her to do?

Initially I read your msg as being one of concern, but actually I think you are resentful of her presence and you seem to feel she isn't deserving of her role at the company.

This is a young person, probably in their first ever job and it appears she may be falling prey to some predatory men in the office, which is awful. You, however, sound like the wolf in sheeps clothing who is trying to sabotage her working experience. Probably nice as anything to her face but behind the scenes, trying to build a list of reasons for her not to be there.

graysquirrel · 26/11/2023 18:13

Give her a task in Power Bi. Plenty of online tuition to keep her busy independently and may learn something useful analytically that may end up being useful to you?

Neriah · 26/11/2023 18:24

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 26/11/2023 14:54

"so damn what"?? " the lack of familial connections is why unemployment is so high among young people" . And you say what's wrong with it. Whatever happened to getting a job on your own merits

And who said they didnt? Having connections is not the same thing as nepotism. It doesn't mean that she didn't get the role on merit. All we have here is the unevidenced word of what seems to be a jealous senior member of staff who is willing to sit back and watch a young woman being preyed upon by male staff.

Perhaps you should save your assumptions and direct your anger at the person with seniority and experience who is allowing her to be preyed upon.

Bearbookagainandagain · 26/11/2023 19:20

Rotations across departments is standard practice in all graduate programs I have come across, it's to get the interns to understand how the company works from all angles rather than just focusing on their specialty. It's really useful for them, but sometimes they can be unlucky with some of their supervisors who are rubbish at coaching juniors.
Graduate programs are not always advertised through the regular HR portal, so it's totally possible that you didn't see the job advert. My company for instance runs their program via collaboration with specific universities.

You don't seem to know anything about her recruitment, and she isn't related to anyone in the company, so why would you assume that she hasn't been recruited through a competitive process?
Given that she is already being harassed by those guys in finance, do you really think she also needs to be judged by you?

JinnyJinx · 26/11/2023 19:32

Bearbookagainandagain · 26/11/2023 19:20

Rotations across departments is standard practice in all graduate programs I have come across, it's to get the interns to understand how the company works from all angles rather than just focusing on their specialty. It's really useful for them, but sometimes they can be unlucky with some of their supervisors who are rubbish at coaching juniors.
Graduate programs are not always advertised through the regular HR portal, so it's totally possible that you didn't see the job advert. My company for instance runs their program via collaboration with specific universities.

You don't seem to know anything about her recruitment, and she isn't related to anyone in the company, so why would you assume that she hasn't been recruited through a competitive process?
Given that she is already being harassed by those guys in finance, do you really think she also needs to be judged by you?

She is only 18 so definitely not a grad programme. I know who all our grads for the year are.
She is still studying, and it's not a degree apprenticeship or similar. We don't tend to just hire students, we offer work experience in spring and summer but not a 3 year long paid role.

OP posts:
Gcsunnyside23 · 26/11/2023 19:41

I know it's not ideal if she got the job due to nepotism but it doesn't really matter to you how she got the job. You may not have work got her but at least teach her to recognise creeps in the workplace. If she is a nepo hire I'd also be nice to her like you would anyone else as she's likely to be around a while. Have you asked her if she's bored or what she would like to learn while with you. I would suggest the excel course to her anyways as she might self fund if she's wealthy and has genuine interest to progress. I would have a chat though and tell her you're not purposely giving her grunt work it's just the rest isn't relevant for her yet

Aphroditee · 26/11/2023 19:49

JinnyJinx · 26/11/2023 19:32

She is only 18 so definitely not a grad programme. I know who all our grads for the year are.
She is still studying, and it's not a degree apprenticeship or similar. We don't tend to just hire students, we offer work experience in spring and summer but not a 3 year long paid role.

You probably don’t know as much about your company as you think you do.

Have you reported the 2 seedy blokes that were prying on her anyway? Because I think that’s more important right now then who’s she affiliated with at the company.

monsteramunch · 26/11/2023 20:21

It doesn't sound like you've reported the disgusting behaviour of the men in your office, which is concerning.

Is there a reason you haven't done this, despite overhearing the vile conversations they've had in earshot?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 26/11/2023 20:27

Neriah · 26/11/2023 18:24

And who said they didnt? Having connections is not the same thing as nepotism. It doesn't mean that she didn't get the role on merit. All we have here is the unevidenced word of what seems to be a jealous senior member of staff who is willing to sit back and watch a young woman being preyed upon by male staff.

Perhaps you should save your assumptions and direct your anger at the person with seniority and experience who is allowing her to be preyed upon.

I have no "anger" at all dear. Look up the definition of nepotism to help you along.
I agree the op seems a tad jealous of young woman. My opinion on the nepotism is what I commented on. As I said before the young lady being predated on is abhorrent and that, to me was the bigger issue

upintheloft · 26/11/2023 20:50

Surely if you work in analytics and her goal is to work in digital marketing there is actually loads you could be teaching her. Nothing in her degree will give her anything like a real mentor and work place practice will. I work in analytics and half the staff don't have a degree and are excellent at what they do. Sounds like you just don't like her

SnozPoz · 26/11/2023 21:03

Some kid's getting work experience, probably unpaid... you must be pretty insecure if it's upsetting you. Be kind and find something for them to do and why not give her tasks for your day out of the office. If she really IS a nepo baby that might benefit you in the long run, if she isn't then you're helping a youngster get on in life. And for God's sake either have a word with the sleazy men or report them. That's not on.

InSpainTheRain · 26/11/2023 22:02

There are free courses on linked in and the OU has free stuff that could help too. Suggest she does her profile on LinkedIn too if she hasnt already. Personally I'd ask if she is comfortable with the guys too.

determinedtomakethiswork · 26/11/2023 22:14

She doesn't need to pay for an excel course, just to use YouTube to follow all the tutorials.

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