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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Be Offended by this Insinuation from my Mother?

2 replies

LargeMalbecPlease · 25/11/2023 13:51

For context, she has unhealthy attitude to alcohol because my Dad is an alcoholic but sober for the last 15 years. He put us through hell in my teenage years and I have moved out at 18 because of him. At 25, I have left for the UK with my baby daughter and then she give him an ultimatum to rehab or divorce. That in itself hurt me the most - I have worked since 16, we could have coped financially without him, so all the time I was around she plodded along with his destructive lifestyle. When left on her own, she decided to take action, and also said to me that I have abandoned her with him on her own. He was never my choice to live with, vile man yet me and my daughter were not worth fixing it earlier then?

Anyway, she would drink a glass of bubbly herself on a special occasion but very judgmental about others drinking socially. She acts as if abstinence is a virtue and despise social drinking, however moderate. Each to their own, we have never drank together expect a thimble on NYE.

Last night we went to a local lights switch on, straight from work, then to a pub. I had one glass of red, then went home as I cooked dinner the day before, so it’s quick and easy after long week. Woke at midnight with terrible food poisoning, all the gory details, and still recovering from it. DP is OK, so not my cooking.

Mother knew we were going to see the lights, she loves all UK traditional stories, so I have messaged her with detailed description of our evening and how rough I felt now after being up all night. She replied that it sounds like we did too much partying and I must have drank something I should not have.

At 45, I didn’t even acknowledge her sarcasm but it still hurts that instead of sympathy I get this, all stemming from my Dad’s drinking.

Anyway, just needed to vent, feeling rotten and snubbed.

OP posts:
LargeMalbecPlease · 25/11/2023 15:59

Bump

OP posts:
Thisusernamenotavailable · 25/11/2023 16:02

I think you have a whole bunch of healing to do over your parents’ choices over the years and how they have affected you and your child. I would seriously consider therapy. YANBU

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