To try and explain ghosting to my DH

[christmasdodedodedo]

Lighthearted folks

DH told by DD she's been ghosted. 👻 He murmured sympathy but then quietly asked me what it is.

We've been married forever, way before tinder etc, so he's a bit slow on all this modern dating palaver. I've tried to explain what ghosting means but he's struggled to get it.

He's been walking the dogs and came back even more perplexed.

"But surely ghosts imply haunting, or hanging about and pestering, isn't that the opposite of the context it's getting used".

It's going to be a long day.

My DH doesn't have a clue either - just asked him. He doesn't particularly want to know either! I have always assumed that it was called ghosting because you are made to feel like a ghost as are being ignored.

It means ending a personal relationship by stopping all communication - the person stopping the communication has "disappeared" into thin air, like a ghost.

Fading away to nothing.

But you just need to explain what it means, doesn’t matter if he doesn’t understand why.

I know this is lighthearted but surely he gets what's happened, even if the terminology confuses him?

That's the point, and what your DD needs now.

Just totally blank him for the next couple of days. He'll get the message.

😂

"But surely ghosts imply haunting, or hanging about and pestering, isn't that the opposite of the context it's getting used"

He sounds ace, OP. I can understand why you've been married to him forever. Love that he spent his entire dog walk cogitating on the concept of ghosting!

Your DH has a point, actually.

I think it’s a silly, melodramatic expression, anyway. Fine for teenagers or the very young, obviously. They get to do melodrama because they’re dealing with stuff for the first time. For adults it’s as silly and overwrought as deciding that someone you don’t like and/or who doesn’t behave well to you is ‘toxic’ or a ‘narcissist’.

@Venomous yeah, and the person describing them as such invariably identifies as an 'empath'!🤔

Agreed! I like the sound of this man.

it’s true there’s a total disconnect between Mn threads about ‘being ghosted’ and Mn ‘woo’ threads about ghosts, who seem to be very dull sorts, hanging around houses and hiding small objects, distracting dogs and babies, closing doors, making footstep sounds etc.

I agree with your DH, it is a stupid word.
But I’m sure he’ll manage to get his head around the fact that it has a different meaning even though it sounds counterintuitive.

Like inflammable (means the same as flammable).

Ahem 🙋🏻‍♀️

They don't mean the same thing.

Flammable means something is capable of being set alight (with ignition)

Inflammable means something can burst into flames without the need for any ignition

The opposite of both is non-flammable.

(Sorry for the pedantry!)

I’m pretty sure we used it in the 90s when referring to friends who disappear off home from a night out without saying goodbye. We had one friend in particular who appeared and disappeared without any announcement - like a ghost.

I've had the most awful week and this is the first thing to make me laugh so thank you!

Just tell him it means acting like you've died. Tbf, ghosting does sound like a haunting/pestering! But life would get too confusing if we went around telling each other the guy from Tinder has dropped dead 😆

Ha ha perfect

Is he genuinely perplexed, or just being like an embarrassing old person who pompously gestures - like when they say, “well why does saying something is ‘sick’ mean it’s good?”

Because that, I can’t be dealing with!

If it’s a genuine pondering fair enough. I think it’s bloody obvious though that ghosts represent solid things disappearing, just as much as they do hauntings.

But if he’s hung up on hauntings, then ghosting actually makes perfect sense in this scenario too.

Because if you’re ghosted, you don’t get a clear end. Which means the idea of the person or the questions about why they disappeared do haunt you.

We used to call it "ignoring someone" in the olden days.😄