To think being on a long term relationship shouldn’t spell the end of excitement and romance?

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Been with my OH for 5 years. He used to be tactile- holding hands, cuddles on the sofa or random hugs during the day. Now there is barely anything.
He reckons that is normal for longer term relationships when the excitement has worn off.
I reckon that it is possible to keep that spark going of both partners are prepared to put the work in.
I am left feeing like an old pair of slippers ; not new or exciting, but comfortable and familiar.
I would rather be a pair of killer heels than a pair of old slippers.
His lack of interest and effort makes me feel really crap about myself. We have talked about this at length. He knows how I feel. Nothing changes.
If you are in a longer term relationship have you managed to keep the spark going or is OH right and I am expecting too much?

If you're having to 'put the work in' is there really a spark?

I've been with my dh for 17 years, married for 10. We still hold hands, cuddle, kiss and have sex whenever we can ( not often with two kids around). We always want to though and frequently talk about how unhappy we are that we don't sleep together anymore ( one child has SEN and cannot sleep alone). It can happen op, but I think it depends on what kind of person you're with. Both of us are very affectionate. We're both late 30s, not sure if that makes a difference.

Been with my DH 11yrs, have two six year olds. We cuddle on sofa every night, hold hands when out and plenty of hugging throughout the day.

Yes, I do think it’s necessary to ‘put in the work’ to ensure you’re connecting as a couple. Life is a lot sometimes and ‘’the spark’ is not something that is easily going to fall into both of your laps at all times for years. But I’m getting the sense they your OH doesn’t care – that’s not good.

It's normal to have a honeymoon phase which doesn't last forever but it shouldn't be that all forms of affection drop off.

This might go against the grain but I think relationships do take work and for both people to keep making an effort.

Thanks. I agree that relationships take work. To kee them exciting takes work.
Mine is not in a good place at all.
I am 56, he is 62 and just seems fed up with life.
My kids are all adults or teens. He has never had any- although he gets in really well with my teens who are still at home.
I think he is depressed. There is no spark at all.
I am very close to leaving him. What stops me is the thought of being on my own again. I have a friend who has being doing online dating and she has had an awful time of it.
i just want someone to want me. Then I worry that I am being unreasonable.
His behaviour has slowly eroded my confidence. I have stopped making an effort with my appearance because quite frankly I don’t think he would notice or care if I walked round with a bag over my head.

This is probably easy to say as an outsider looking in but you might be actually better off working on your self esteem so you don't feel you need someone around you and be your fabulous self single than staying in a relationship feeling rubbish whilst a partner's ongoing lack of affection leads you feeling rubbish.

@LolaSmiles you are absolutely right there. I have only really just worked out what is going on with me. He is a kind man but the on going lack of affection, the lack of positive comments have been eroding my self esteem .
i have booked myself in for some highlights today and am going to get a new lippie in town this afternoon.
i used to be pretty self reliant as far as boosting myself up was concerned.

I've only been with my OH for three years, but he works away alot. I think the distance and time apart makes it more exciting when we do get to spend time together, and we make the most of it, not that I'm advocating you spending less time with your partner, but it's always lovely when we see each other and cuddle loads, spend time doing fun things together, unplanned days/nights out. I also have a 4 year old from a previous partner and we love going on trips out together. It's hard sometimes when I'm missing him and would love to spend more time together, but this is where we are at the moment x I hope it does get better for you x