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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He came home 3 hours late after ‘one drink’

12 replies

NickD87 · 24/11/2023 22:12

We popped over to our neighbours house this evening with 7mos old. I don’t drink but husband was enjoying a sly one. All good. I gave DD her bottle there then at 7pm said she would need to go to bed.

Husband said he would stay for ONE more, which sort of riled me but fine. I came home and put her to bed.

Now, usually I don’t care about this stuff. He can go and have his fun. But I had mentioned several times today that I wanted to go to the gym this evening as I hadn’t been last couple of days (I go at 10pm, DH goes in the afternoon). I enjoy the gym. Going in the evening gets me my alone time out of the house.

He rolled in rather drunk at 9.45 saying “You have time to go to the gym!” rather happily like he deserved a medal for giving me a thought.

But I can’t, can I?! I told him I literally can’t leave a baby, sleeping or otherwise, with somebody who has had that many drinks. One or two, fine. But let’s definitely draw the line at 6 Manhattans.
Anyway, he’s taken that as a bit of a slight on his parenting abilities - and that I am overreacting and my plans haven’t been scuppered.

I’m sure everything would be fine - but you really never know if there might be an emergency. I just have never felt comfortable with it.

He also said I should have just text him and told him to come home. I feel like he’s a grown man who shouldn’t need anybody else telling him what he should be doing…

Grrr. AIBU? Am I just tired and annoyed and need to go to bed? Or would this have riled you up to?

sincerely,

Drinking Tea in the Kitchen and pretending I’m fine

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 24/11/2023 22:24

Go to the gym in the morning, he can look after the baby.

AuntMarch · 24/11/2023 22:27

I'd be annoyed too. Take the day time slot for the gym tomorrow!

Starzinsky · 24/11/2023 22:34

As a one off it doesn't seem like a big deal, friday night and all, but maybe you need to review your routines do give you both the time you need, or maybe a gym with a creche so you can go in the day might be something to consider longer term so you are not having to go so late in the evening.

ScattieHattie1 · 24/11/2023 22:35

YABU. He was home in time. You were riled (your words) just at him having one, so you were already being unreasonable.

Ap24 · 24/11/2023 22:42

As a one off I don't see the problem. I think we've all been out for "just the one" and ended up staying far longer than intended.

theduchessofspork · 24/11/2023 22:45

I get not going to the gym is annoying, but it’s Friday night so it doesn’t seem a huge deal.

Tell him he’s on duty tomorrow and go to the gym followed by a long leisurely coffee?

Circumferences · 24/11/2023 22:54

Wow I'm impressed that you get to a gym regularly at 10pm with a baby to look after!
I'd be in bed with Netflix myself at 10pm but each to their own I suppose.

Musntapplecrumble · 25/11/2023 00:09

I'd be upset that he wasn't in a fit state to look after the baby, tbh.

Rainbowshit · 25/11/2023 00:31

YABU

Catsmere · 25/11/2023 00:50

I bet if you'd texted him he'd have been pissed off at you interrupting his drinking.

buckeejit · 25/11/2023 13:35

Yabu. He would have been fine & could have called for help if there was an issue

Abouttimemum · 25/11/2023 22:52

Neither of us would leave DS with the other if they were drunk so YANBU to be irritated. But if it’s a one off it’s not the end of the world and I would go to the gym the next morning.

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