Fully acknowledge I'm throwing myself to the MN judgemental wolves here for giving this man the time of day, but bear with me...
I went through a break up 3 years ago. He dumped me. It was traumatic as hell but I recovered very quickly. Did all the right stuff, therapy, no contact, etc....ended up better and stronger.
Never really give this guy or the relationship a second thought (I'm not saying that to kid myself or anyone else. Genuinely did the work and got over it). It feels like a lifetime ago now.
Now, three times in the last year, he and I have bumped into each other at parties and ended up chatting about the break-up and our relationship, over a bottle of wine. On none of those occasions have I been remotely bothered by it after. it's always felt very lighthearted.
HOWEVER...
On all three occasions, I've ended up crying my eyes out during these conversations.
Was just chatting to a friend about how strange it is, given that I'm completely unmoved 99.9% of the time. All three occasions, I can't really even recall what I was so sad about once I've woken up the next day.
Friend suggested there must be some deep rooted trauma that I'm harbouring from the break-up.
I find this so fascinating! I have no residual feelings for this guy, no real conscious trauma that I'm aware of and long recovered from the break-up. If I spent all day long forcing myself to think about that relationship and the break-up, I'd be hard pushed to summon any emotion.
I'm completely intrigued by this and how the human brain works. How can I possibly have feelings that I don't know are there? Am I supposed to do anything about this? Am I going to have some kind of epic break-down one day? Do I need to run back to therapy? Or does wine just make me silly?