Totally get you. I gained over 10st a few years ago after a huge change in life circumstances and I’m finally at the stage where I’ve got 8st back off.
It’ll be good to get recommendations for diets that might work for you but I think ‘diets’ can be problematic. You can feel really motivated on the surface but if your heart really isn’t in it, it can set you up for failure. If it works for you great, but don’t feel like that’s your only option.
For me, I hit my limit 2 months before the first lockdown. I’d got to a point where I’d managed to stop gaining anymore and I was on the cusp of losing and then we all got locked indoors, everyone felt miserable, and it didn’t feel like the time to be focusing on health when we’re all binge watching Netflix on the sofa.
The way I managed it was to be honest with myself that I wasn’t arsed with dieting or eating ‘healthy’. I just wanted to get some weight off but not sacrifice my comfort. I started to get smart about calories (MyFitnessPal is a great help). I scanned everything I ate religiously so I could understand the calories and I didn’t let myself feel bad when the numbers looked bad, this was JUST about getting myself educated. Then I started to look at my biggest/highest calorie food weaknesses to see where I could swap things for lower calorie versions and I don’t mean diet versions, I mean like the difference between Squares and Hula Hoops. Other little cheats helped like realizing if I use the fine grater for cheese rather than the regular grater, I can get the same satisfaction but I’m using less cheese to fill a sandwich. It sounds ridiculous but pretty soon I was managing a 500 calorie deficit a day. All the tracking and scanning becomes an effort in itself but it felt worth it because I was still getting the comfort element.
Once I had a couple of stone off and started to see the benefit, I felt more motivated to go further and THEN I started gradually switching things out for healthier versions, making small changes to my habits, adding in some exercise, increasing the fruit and veg. I added in a new “project” every couple of months like looking at fibre or looking at how I could reduce sugar. Little things one at a time but they also taught me more about food and health and how I could integrate things more. I also gave myself permission at the start to go two steps forward and one step back because, overall, in the long term it’s still progress and it’s just more realistic.
I still have the odd binge but my diet is pretty decent all things considered and, at least when I do binge, I know how to get the most bang for my calorie buck so I can scratch the itch without completely derailing my progress. I’m walking 10,000 steps a day, I’m swimming once a week and because I did it gradually and found ways that worked for me, it feels like permanent change. I’m not worried I’m going to hit my target, come off the “diet” and put it all back on again.
Sorry, this turned into a loooong post, but I suppose what I’m saying is, it’s not all about dieting, it’s finding a way for you to get to know your own habits and triggers better and learning more about your eating so you can make choices that work for you. There’s no one way to do it, just find the one that works for you. It doesn’t have to be either feast or famine, you can find a middle ground to get the ball rolling and then work from there and give yourself time. My approach might not work for everyone but I hope there’s something helpful in there for you.