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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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5 replies

lessglittermoremud · 23/11/2023 20:04

I've applied for a job that means I would be starting work early in the morning (7.00am) so if I was offered the job i would be unable to do the school run at the start of the day.
I currently work approximately 20 hours a week and do the majority of the childcare/school runs, cleaning, food shopping, meal preparation and general household stuff.
Husband does work really hard, mostly 5 1/2 days a week and I’ve always made sure my work schedule has fitted around his.

I would have liked to be able to take the job if I was offered it and for husband to alter his shift slightly (which is possible)
I came out of the interview really positive but now have to factor in childcare costs if offered the job as DH has said the children will have to attend wrap around care in the morning instead of altering his schedule, which means we’ll be paying out for childcare for our 2 children.
I feel pretty fed up that as usual I’m the one that has to fit in with everyone else, DH does earn a lot more then me but it would have been nice if to hear that if I was offered the job that we could have juggled things around rather then a flat out no to altering his work time. I guess I’m wondering if I ABU to feel so gutted about his attitude given he does work more hours and alit more money.

OP posts:
StephanieLampshade · 23/11/2023 20:06

No. He's just selfish and inflexible and self congratulatory.

Hopefully you're friends and family will be more celebratory if you do get the job.

Maybe he even feels jealous or threatened by you getting more independence.

Shame is on him.

Whattodonexts · 23/11/2023 20:13

Stand your ground 'No DH we're not doing that, it is possible for you to change your shift so thats what needs to happen. I've always worked my whole life around you and never asked you for anything in return- if you can't be slightly flexible for me for ONCE I really need to reassess our partnership' or something along those lines. Let him know you mean business.

Whataretheodds · 23/11/2023 20:27

You definitely shouldn't be factoring in more than half the childcare costs at most. The other half is his responsibility.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 23/11/2023 20:28

You only need to cover half the childcare, he will have to pay for the other half. Might make him re-think being difficult about changing hours

lessglittermoremud · 23/11/2023 20:50

I think I’m more annoyed because in my head we shouldn’t be having to factor in childcare costs at all…his attitude is if I get offered the job then they’ll have to go to wrap around care, which seems like such an expensive waste when he could alter his start time a fraction and finish 30 minutes later…

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