Child left to scream for hours WWYD?

[MagicFarawayTea]

Asking for genuine advice. My elderly mum (87) has neighbours in the flat below her who moved in about 6 months ago. They are pretty unfriendly, especially the mother. Aged late 30s. When they moved in, her parents, who are the opposite, very friendly, introduced themselves to my mum and told the mother to come say hello. She came to front door, looked my mum up and down then walked back inside without saying a word. Her parents looked embarrassed; my mum said something along the lines of “I guess I’ll get back to my gardening then” !

Anyway, they have a child who is nearly 2.years old. It would appear her bedroom is below my mum’s living room, and she is frequently left to cry. And when I say cry, it is not a tired, hungry cry. I have 3 kids , I know the difference. It is a gut wrenching sobbing, distressing cry. I have heard it myself and wondered why on earth she wasn’t being comforted.

Well. This week she has been crying like this between 3-5 hours a night. There is no sound of mum or dad trying to settle her, comfort her. Just weirdly silent ( apart from the crying). Last night this went on from 8pm until 11pm. My mum is beside herself and is unsure what to do- she wants to say something but doesn’t know how to broach the issue. Is she ill? Are they leaving her to cry on purpose? It’s making her anxious and she’s not in good health herself.

She thinks they would react badly ( I agree) and make living situation worse and very uncomfortable. I wondered about contacting health visitor services but she’s worried they will know it’s come from her. The way the flats are laid out, only my mum is affected by this issue. They rent, my mum owns her flat.

Help! What can she do?

Call now . Doesn’t have it be your mum. You do it. Nothing sounds right in this situation.

Contact Social Services.

If everything is fine, they will investigate and that will be the end of it.

If something is wrong, then that child needs someone to care enough to help.

Call social services.

This could be my upstairs neighbour when my baby was newborn to six months. She screamed the house down for hours thanks to the joy that is severe reflux and other issues. We did comfort her but the sound of us doing that would have been inaudible through the floor.

I was very down with postnatal anxiety because of her health issues and because I felt awful I couldn’t make my baby feel better. Tread very carefully when you speak to the local health visiting team. Obviously no one wants child abuse unreported - but it could be any new baby ailment like colic etc that causes that crying. I apparently was exactly the same as a baby, heart rendering crying and couldn’t be comforted.

that ‘rudeness’ could be hormones so lighten your judgement

The OP says it's a two year old, so unlikely to be colic or any other new baby ailment.

The child is nearly 2 years old

If you are really concerned, report to social services and let them investigate. As PP said, sometimes children do cry for hours and do get comforted, but you wouldn't hear it through all the crying. My little cousin had terrible allergies, would scream his head off during feeding, nap times and at night until he turned 3 and his allerigies were more or less under control. Our downstairs neighbour was at our door several times a day saying unpleasant things about the baby and threatening to call social services, which we said he was welcome to do as long as he left us alone. It was enough stress for my aunt being attached to the screaming child for 24/7 without neighbour's judgement of her parenting skills.
If there is concern about the child, I would report. If your mother has a health condition, she is likely classed as a vulnerable adult so if the neighbours give her hard time, that would be another safeguarding alert and report to the landlord.

Social services. If the child is crying for that long and that loudly lots of people could have heard and it reported it.

Contact social services, who will be able to investigate.

Contact social services, something isn’t right here, that poor child. Or at least have a conversation with the “normal” parents if they’re around much? No doubt this girls screaming the house down as we speak.

To those saying the child is two - many childhood ailments drag on post the baby phase. “In some children, the symptoms associated with gastro-oesophageal reflux disease disappear with or without treatment, usually by the age of two. However, in some children, gastro-oesophageal reflux disease is more of a long-term condition and can have a serious effect on both the child and family's quality of life.”

I was lucky my daughter out grew her severe reflux, the majority of the mother’s children in my support group, are still it battling past two years old.

My next door neighbours kid on the same floor screams continuously, this doesn’t reflect the parents, they are so kind and patient with their son who was born prem and while very clever struggles to process emotions. I can’t hear the neighbours soothing the child through the wall, but I’ve seen them doing it on the street.

Go with your gut

Is it possible they have gone out and left her? Any sign of drug use?

If it's that bad I'd call police to do a welfare check

The couple have returned from living abroad and I have a feeling the mum is suffering from post natal depression. Child appears well cared for and happy enough when I’ve seen them going in and out of building. Going to see if things settle down in next few days before seeking professional help.