Or is there some secret I don't know about? WWY be thinking?

[notsurewhattomake]

Or aibu?
Group setting, five women, me, SIL, two of SIL's friends, and an acquaintance of the family.
I'm talking to the acquaintance opposite me.
SIL seemingly randomly comes out with 'we know how to keep our men don't we Sal (not her real name)' looking at her friend. And 'Sal' replies to SIL 'we sure do'.
I hear this and look up at them. SIL has stood up and looks kind of agitated. Sal looks relaxed.
SIL and Sal are looking at one another, I look round the group to see what's going on and as I look up, the other friend looks down at the ground, tight-lipped, looking mildly embarrassed, and I got the vibe she did not want to make eye contact with me.
The acquaintance didn't say anything.
I felt like I was the only one who wasn't in on some information.

Yeah there's some sort of secret wink wink nudge nudge going on

Is SIL married to your brother?

I don't know but it sounds pass-agg and bitchy.

Other friend having an affair with your dh?

Intriguing. What’s everyone’s relationship status? Looks like SIL was digging at Sal for a reason. Maybe other friend was avoiding everyone’s eye, not just yours?

Is Sal having an affair?
Just ask your SIL what the conversation was about?

Yeah there is some sort of in-joke that you aren't aware of. Try not to worry though, it could be something quite pathetic and trivial that they think they are "cool wives" for and somehow above other women.

I remember having a similar thing happen when getting my nails done, a very obvious sex in joke amongs the technicians that I wasn't party to. One had flowers delivered from her boyfriend and they were all saying "dirty girl" and making weird gestures, sly comments etc. Turns out "steak and blow job nights" were a thing in the salon 🙄. If you wanted something (in this case a new washing machine!) you were supposed to make a steak dinner and go down on your man to get it. I was really young at the time and they clearly enjoyed keeping me in the dark until I got fed up and said "well I'm feeling quite left out, go on what's this secret?".

Another time something similar happened with the nudge nudge wink wink jokes it was about two bi friends who had surprised their husbands with threesomes and yet again one of those "friends" who thought she was better at sex than the rest of us because she was into rimming. She kept on about her "secret" never saying what it was, getting very tedious about the whole thing, only to bloody well tweet it a few weeks later. I'm no prude but I don't understand the need that some women have to boast.

Whatever it is, the Sal and friend sound pretty immature and like they enjoy feeling like they are better at sex than the women in their family/friend circle. It's the sort of comment designed to make other women insecure. Don't rise to it.

Don't automatically assume affair or that your DH isn't happy, and be aware these women probably aren't your friends.

Are they saying you don't know how to "keep a man"? Has you partner been complaining about you to SiL?

Just ask

I'm guessing it's nothing to do with you, just a reference to some previous group conversation about pandering to their husbands' sexual preferences. If you are married to your SIL's brother, it was probably best not discussed any further!

Yeah, there’s clearly something going on between the three of them. Perhaps the second friend looked embarrassed because she’d now realised that she has confided personal information with a pair of twats.

SIL is my husband's sister.

Not enough info

Not impossible but the friend is married. I assumed the SIL was saying that she knows how to keep her partner and that SIL knows that Sal can also keep her husband. I wondered if they were referring to some specific sex act which they think we know nothing about. That doesn't make sense though as we are all in our 50s/60s!

SIL does have form for talking about sex, randomly.
When we've been out together she has brought up sex on more than one occasion. I don't think it's appropriate as I'm married to her brother so I don't talk about our sex life. She has told me that she will 'give' her partner sex even when she doesn't feel like it as (she explained) he does a lot for her round the house.

It's the 'we know how to keep' that feels off.

Yes sounds like you weren't in on some information, as it was between them.

In that case I think you are right about the "secret sex act" and the embarassment from the others was because you are married to her sibling and it would be really awkward to have you join in!

Somebody is having an affair. The fact the two others looked away embarrassed would suggest it might involve your DH but SIL doesn't want to be the one who blows your family apart. Really hoping I'm wrong but that would be my take on it.

Or it involves the acquaintance and not you. But it still means an affair has been discovered and four people know about it.

It would be a very odd way for you SIL to act if your DH was having an affair. Would also be very nasty way to behave to friends if their partner was having an affair.

it’s a dig at someone though.

My guess is that the embarrassed friend has been flirting with SIL’s or Sal’s husband and been rebuffed. The women have found out and made sly digs about it. Is the embarrassed friend in a relationship? Maybe her DH is playing and she confided in one of the women’s partners?