To want to continue paying my pension

[Newmum288]

I am on mat leave, returning in Jan part-time. It is expected that I will be part-time for the foreseeable as we have more children. I am self-employed and so have zero pension apart from what I put in.
I used to put in £500 but we can’t afford this whilst on mat leave so I have stopped. When I return part-time, I want to start paying £250 a month as a safety net for myself in case we were ever to divorce. Obviously do not expect to!! We have a wonderful marriage but my husband has a very good pension and I have nothing.
He says I don’t need to stretch our finances by paying £250 a month when I can just have half of his when the time comes, EXCET FOR infidelity in which case I can see him in court basically.
Again, obviously, I do not expect that either of us will ever cheat! But how can I hinge something as important as my pension on how he feels at the time in potentially 30 years?! I’m not naive that all sorts of things can happen and I don’t like my pension resting on how he feels?!

If you’ve got the spare money a month to place into your pension pot then go for it, if all the bills are paid, shopping done and all other expensive covered fairly between the two of you then I don’t see the problem. £250 is a lot, but if that’s what you can afford without stretching your finances thin then why not.

You need to pay into your own pension

Divorce law doesn't care about the reason you are divorcing, just a fair distribution of assets. If you have a smaller pension as your earning was less due to childcare, your DH would be in for a shock.

That said it is totally worth paying into your own pension because the government basically give you free money for doing so.

Ask him to reduce his pension payments and see what he says. I bet it isn't yes.

You should definitely keep paying into your own pension. It’s vital. You never know what will happen in the future.

He says I don’t need to stretch our finances by paying £250 a month when I can just have half of his when the time comes, EXCET FOR infidelity in which case I can see him in court basically.

He's telling you that you can't rely on his money. (Of course you can't). He can phrase it in the 'if you betray me' way all he wants, but he's pointing to the underlying problem with this arrangement that makes it unacceptable: it makes you reliant on him.

He’s being shortsighted at best, ridiculous at worst.

Prioritise making those payments, even if you have to cut back on some nonessential expenses.

If you are financially stretched he should reduce what he pays into his pension

Always good to have your own pension and if you are self employed make sure you pay correct NI towards a state pension.
So many things can go wrong so plan for the worst and if it doesn’t happen you’ll be quids in.
DH and I have been able to retire early, we had to due to health issues that were not part of our plans. We are very comfortably off as a result. But we made sacrifices early on in order to be in this position.

Well , some may see them as sacrifices. I consider them to be saving to make life comfortable when you need it. I couldn’t imagine having to work full time and DH isn’t able to work.