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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ainu to sack the cleaner? Can she sue me?

30 replies

Catch2222 · 23/11/2023 11:09

My mother had dementia. She lives at home but we have carers 4 times per day and my sibling s and I take it in turns to visit daily. We organise for a hairdresser to set her hair twice a week and so as not to confuse her this is done on same days every week.

She had a great routine and that is how we run things to keep mum safe and secure.

We employed cleaning company to send a cleaner twice per week. Once on a Monday and once on a Thursday. It was working out well and the same girl came for the whole time we used the company.

She was great, even making mum a coffee before she left and chatting to her as she worked. However, she decided to go out on her own. We stupidly cut ties with the company and paid the cleaner directly to come. It was all well for 11 weeks, then she started not showing up on the Monday and coming on another day (varied depending on what she could fit in) this was confusing mum so I spoke to her and asked her to keep the days the same. We were flexible on time but days needed to be same.

She was becoming very unreliable some weeks only coming one day and then we discovered she want staying for the full two hours we were paying her. Usually leaving after and hour and twenty minutes. (We have security cameras so we could see her coming and going.)

Mum was getting confused and anxious and as we had spoken to the cleaner three times I told her it wasn't working out for us and we didn't need her to come back.

She has since bombarded me with calls and messages about how she misses mum and she's annoyed we sacked her. Sometimes they are really rude messages. She recently sent a message saying she is taking legal advice and plans to sue us as we have left her financially unable to cope.

Can she do this? Should I have persevered?

OP posts:
Catchtheball22 · 23/11/2023 16:14

Thank you all so much for the replies.

We don't have a written contract. I paid her via PayPal when she was with the company but when she went out on her own we paid her cash. My friends husband is a solicitor and I've spoken to him today.

He agrees with you guys she is not going to sue. So I have composed an email stating the days and times she didn't stay when she was supposed to. I have listed how much she has earned in cash payments and suggested if she is going to take legal advice I would also be taking advice as to how to recoup moneys paid in good faith for services not received so I hoped her business accounts are in order. Proof being Camera footage of her leaving early. I also pointed out I had kept all messages and voicemails and would not hesitate to ask the police for advice regarding her intimidating behaviour should this continue.

Thank you again Mumsnet. You always help me get my thoughts in order. Xx

Cherrysoup · 23/11/2023 16:18

Just block her.

PabloandGustheGreySquirrels · 24/11/2023 14:35

That's a lot of visits for your mum to remember! Hairdresser twice per week? Cleaner twice per week, I'm not defending the cleaner's actions for a moment but I'm not surprised your mum became confused & upset. Even I would with all those visits to remember

Catchtheball22 · 24/11/2023 17:16

PabloandGustheGreySquirrels · 24/11/2023 14:35

That's a lot of visits for your mum to remember! Hairdresser twice per week? Cleaner twice per week, I'm not defending the cleaner's actions for a moment but I'm not surprised your mum became confused & upset. Even I would with all those visits to remember

The carers come at same time every day and hair dresser comes at same time on her days. Actually that helps her as she looks forward to the visits. The confusion came when the cleaner was not coming when she was supposed to. That left mum wondering when she was going to show up.

Hobbesmanc · 24/11/2023 17:28

You're well rid. She sounds a nightmare and quite manipulative. Not the kind of person you need around your vulnerable mum

However you were probably fortunate not to get a bill from the agency if you employed her directly. Most would charge an introduction fee.

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