To ask whether to take big job…?

[johnnybongos]

I’m on mat leave due to return early next year. I have a 6 month old and 3 year old.

Current job I like my colleagues, I find the work can be stressful, it’s not a passion and I don’t think it completely aligns to my natural skill set. It’s also somewhere where it may be hard to progress.

Been offered a new job it’s really interesting, would look brilliant on CV, sought after position and more closely aligned to my natural skills/personality.

New job is 4 days a week. The role could potentially be split between two locations and genuinely won’t be confirmed until after I accept the post. One location is easy to get to (1 hour drive). Other location is a 3 hour train trip (6 hour round trip) by train so I’d be back prob just before or after kids bed time. I’d need to do that 6 hour round trip at least once a week, maybe twice. I also may need to self fund that travel at a cost of around £300 if travelling once a week but up to £700 if twice. On 4 days a week Il earn circa £2700 a month. I will have flexi so I could work on my laptop during that trip. I will be able to work from home maybe 1 to two days a week. No option to work less than 4 days unless I can find someone when I join who wants to job share.

Current job I could drop down to 3 days a week (and that would be ideal number of days). I would have to do 2 days in office 2 hour commute at cost of £150. Again flexi so I could work on train and can leave office early enough to be back by tea time. Pay is roughly same, small increase of £2k in new job.

The new job is a dream job. But more than anything I want to be there for kids.

What would you do?

it might well be a “big job” and 4 days a week

but at £2700 a month and you have to self fund to the tune of £700 train travel…. Shit pay!!

I wouldn't do the long commute. In my experience, it's just not worth it.

All the stress of a big job

with a pretty pathetic remuneration

i wouldn’t take it. wouldn’t hesitate to say no.

i would keep current

and always keep my eye out for another

No.

The commute sounds awful

genuinely won’t be confirmed until after I accept the post

Why? I'd see if they still want you if it's one day a week doing the travel. Because that could be OK. Two is financially and practically silly.

That's not a high enough salary for the travel or compromising.

I'd want it to be comfortably able to pay the travel not that large percent of the basic.

Even at £3.5-£4k a month that's a 1/4 of the take home.

No way would I be doing a 6 hour round commute up to twice a week.

I've got 2 primary aged children, I go into the office twice a week (commute is 70 mins) and wfh the other 3 days. I have a stressful job that requires me to work long hours but I also have a great deal of flexibility (and a superb DH) which makes me feel less guilty for all the things I can't get to.

That much of a commute that I would also have to self fund would be a hard no from me.

I agree not enough pay, can’t see why the terms can’t be agreed before the offer was made though? That sounds odd, the financial impact 1 vs 2 days with longer commute is a huge difference economically. How could anyone make up their mind without this important information. Personally, if I was in your shoes, I would rather be with the children, you will never get those years back. Good luck with whatever you decide Op.

I'd have loved to be in your position when my DC were young, a choice of three or four days a week.
Personally I'd stay with 3 days due to the travel/costs and having a young DC.
I assume with a big job comes more responsibility and maybe putting additional hours in at home.
Make it as easy on yourself as possible at this stage.
Go for the big jobs when your youngest DC are a little older?

Are the travel costs per week or per month? Is the £2700 take home pay or gross pay? What's the comparable pay for staying in your current company? What's the pension like for each job? Would it be possible to stay in a hotel overnight to reduce commuting costs and time (and doing a long two days in the other location). Can that be negotiated into a pattern that fits you better? Can the father of your DC go PT to support you take on more responsibility at work? What flexibility can he get?

I can't really get a proper idea of how the jobs compare, if it's a big uplift in salary it might be worth it. But mainly I'm shocked at the commuting times you have quoted. You've got 1h each way for the closest job, or 3h each way for the further away location (that's Newcastle to London!). But even in your current job you're talking about a 2h commute (each way). You do realise those are all crazy commutes, the average commute in the UK is about 30 min each way (so 1h total per day). Is it really not possible to get a job closer to home? What is your back up plan if a DC gets poorly at childcare, will their Dad be able to pick them up or will they have to wait for hours till you get there?

I would do it only if single location can be confirmed. No problem going to the far away relocation once a month or for specific events only but not on a weekly basis.
I had a hefty commute when dc were young but nowhere near as bad. I was always home before dinner/bedtime - I’d not want to have days where I didn’t see dc at all. Already found it tricky to get to parents’ evening, school discos and all that

I need more information:
Is the " big job" a strpping stome to a bigger job with a bigger salary ?
Do you have a partner ? Are they supportive ? What arectheir working hours ( if any) ? What are your childcare arrangements ?

If on your long days you walk in to bathed pyjamed children in their own house and a hot meal that is very different to running about picking people up and getting them to bed for another early start.

I did similar ( for similar money-£50,000 for 3/4 days) 10-12 years ago because it led to greater things (as I said on another thread I pay 45% tax) but my DCs were 5&7 so school age.

I would accept the job, on the condition of the closer location and higher pay. See what they say.
If they can’t/won’t meet your terms stay at your current job, and work out how to move into dream job, but more local.

the worst they can say is no. They obviously like you enough to offer the job, if they want you, they have to make it work.

I’ve done a 2hr one way commute twice a week for a couple of years now. It’s not fun, and I’m glad to be finishing very soon.

No way would I do that. My last job there was an "expectation" of travelling to other office locations frequently, it wasn't the money that was the main issue (they paid) but the time.

A 3 hour journey very easily and often turns into a 4 hour journey with train trouble and it's stressful.

I suspect it'll be a bit of a nightmare in reality, especially if they can't decide until you start where you'd need to be. Red flag!

No, prioritise the DCs - you really won't regret that. That's not a big enough salary for the demands of what you're being asked to do

i wouldn’t take the new job I’m afraid regardless of having small children - even the “short” commute location is still going to be a long day as I imagine it will end up taking more than an hour (I worked someone a theoretical hour drive away for a year and in practice it would regularly take twice that - I was exhausted by the end as 3-4 hours driving on top of a long day at work was knackering!) and the self funded 6 hour round trip 1-2 times per week is just too much - I’d want multiple times the salary they are offering to even consider it! For a 2k pay rise no way.

No chance I’d take it with having to self fund that amount and long travel

I wouldn't work anywhere that expected me to accept the job before such key details (location) were clear

As others have said that is not a lot of pay for a lot of travel. Three hours is London to Liverpool or Newcastle. Why do you live so far from a key office? And why do you have to go in to the further one so often?

My workplace had six regional offices and people based in them are not expected to travel to the head office (in London) that much, especially if they are more junior (which on that pay I assume you will be).

Also I would be wary of the "based across two offices thing", sounds like they are trying to oull a fast one kn travel expenses. In a lot of multi location workplaces it is generally common practice to have a "home office" where you regularly work and travel to other office locations would be claimable on expenses. So I am based at our London office. I am expected to cover travel to our London office, which I go in to at least 3 days a week (which is fine as I live a 16 min train journey away) but If I travelled to, say, our Manchester office for work I would be able to claim that travel cost back.

I'd say you'll take it under the condition you can work in the closer office. You are allowed to negotiate.

Since the location won’t be confirmed until after you’ve accepted the job, I wouldn’t accept it. That is the location you’ll end up with and will end up having to be there most of the week.