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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NYE party and babies

150 replies

quackadoodledooo · 23/11/2023 02:08

Traditionally DH and I host a NYE party have been for 8 years now, we love it. Before now kids weren’t an issue, none of our close friends had any, but in the last 2 years there has been a baby boom (we are all 31-35 now so makes sense). We are included in the boom and have a 7 month old.
Today the question of “are kids invited to NYE” was asked - and well I don’t know!!
The kids are between 3/4 months and 18 months, and I’m half thinking we should say no? Who wants a load of tiny kids at a party (8 of them to be exact). Other half of me is thinking more the merrier - our son will be there so why not everyone else!! We have a 4 bed so was thinking sons nursery and the guest room could be set up with travel cots (BYOC instead of BYOB lol), and act as our baby party, I’m sure the ones who have little tiny babies who don’t sleep in their own rooms yet could use slings or something. DH reckons he could set up a baby watch system where we can see them all on baby monitors.
Now is this ludicrous? 16 people there will have babies of the invite list of about 50 (we do a gazebo in the garden to make everyone fit) so it will be noticed if all the parents are left at home. We are also inviting some colleagues so there will be kids of around 4/6 there too. I like the idea that all these babies will grow up and be friends and we will continue to see them all the annual party so why not start now, surely the chaos years will be when we have 8 toddlers running around overtired and not sweet little babas? (maybe we can get a snap of them
all each year to embarrass them with on the year they all turn 18 and can drink haha).

AIBU to think this could work or do we say no babies pls we’d like to retain some sanity going into the new year?

OP posts:
Ibizabar · 23/11/2023 18:45

We hosted all kids and babies welcome NYE parties for years when my kids were small. It worked well and meant no one had to find babysitters. I have very fond memories of those parties.

bluesky45 · 23/11/2023 18:46

Who will anyone leave their babies with on NYE? We went to a party/small gathering when our youngest was 3 months and he just hung out with us. But since then, it's been too tricky to take him/COVID/who would babysit as our parents want to enjoy the night with their own celebrations etc too. So haven't done anything since.

Echio · 23/11/2023 18:49

As a non-mum mumsnetter, I say tell everyone to get a babysitter. If invited and knowing it'll be full of babies, I would decline.

I spend enough of my time pretending to enjoy loving the fact that all my interactions with friends are now just talk about babies and kids and every meet up is 100% fixed around what does and doesn't suit them rather than what we used to all enjoy together.

NYE is one of 3 or 4 occasions in the year I let myself have a few drinks - Christmas, maybe my birthday or a friend's birthday, maybe a wedding. I really don't want babies in the mix with alcohol, no thank you. Polite decline from me.

Seasidemumma77 · 23/11/2023 18:49

Love the BYOC idea. Have always had NYE parties, and they became even better once babies, children and teens all still come along.

Possimpible · 23/11/2023 18:54

@quackadoodledoooI like the idea that all these babies will grow up and be friends and we will continue to see them all the annual party

And are you great friends with the children of your parents' friends..? Be prepared for this not to happen.

As a childfree person, I'd probably make different NY plans if the babies were all invited if I'm being honest. But if they're not invited, chances are most of the parents won't be able to come. I think you have to accept traditions change, and things are probably going to be different now there are children in the picture. NY was always a family occasion for us growing up, and your baby will be there, so I think it sounds nice to invite the kids. But be prepared for your childfree/less friends not to want to come.

gotomomo · 23/11/2023 18:58

I think you have 2 choices, include the little ones or scrap the party - babysitters on New Year's Eve are thin on the ground and very expensive

PandaG · 23/11/2023 19:00

We did this for years - firstly dc were put to sleep in travel cots or sleeping bags in any spare space, when a bit older they all slept over and their parents came back the following morning to pick them up. But in our group of friends, we take it in turn to host a dinner party rather than a full on party, so at most 11 children, and at most every 4 years. I quite miss the cramming the kids in! When a bit older still they had their own party in another room in the house with pop and crisps and music or films... When older still they were either babysitting for younger children or then off to their own parties.

Teenangels · 23/11/2023 19:45

BullAndDoring · 23/11/2023 02:47

I personally wouldn't be comfortable doing this; being at a party in a gazebo in a garden with my baby sleeping in a room in the house - baby monitor or not.

Do you never sit out in your own garden when your child is asleep?

Elphamouche · 23/11/2023 19:46

Definite yes from me! We are now pregnant, but we’ve always attended parties with friends and families kids.

EW671 · 23/11/2023 19:48

My parents had a close group of friends and some of my fondest memories are spending every Christmas and New Years Eve with them all as a big group.

id say invite them and start a new tradition with your new additions.

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 23/11/2023 19:55

We do this several times a year for various functions. We are really lucky and have a big house and lots of land for kids running around / people parking cars etc.

You will find some folks don’t want to either way. Babies change people’s priorities. Some people will worry about their baby sleeping. And, obviously, they can set each other off. But some people will be buzzed about it.

We usually set up the play room downstairs with Disney+ and duvets and snacks for the older kids (ages 8-13) and have a nursery in ante room off our socialising space. People like to keep babies as close as possible.

Our Ukranian friends don’t use the nursery. They keep their babies (awake!) on the hip all night and then leave around 10.

Go for it, OP!

ASGIRC · 23/11/2023 20:16

Absolutely invite them!

When I was a baby/child, my parents would go to a big NYE party at my moms godfathers house.
Kids would be put to sleep wherever, and then put in a car at 4/5am to go home.
It was great!
I only stopped going to that NYE party as an older teen, when my moms godfathers health started declining, and the party wasnt on every year, and then stopped completely!

I miss that party and it is because of it that I enjoy NYE so much and cant even contemplate staying home and doing nothing!

Trommelgeroffel · 23/11/2023 20:18

I'd invite the whole lot of them (and did, when my DC were babies/toddlers).

Trommelgeroffel · 23/11/2023 20:19

Elphamouche · 23/11/2023 19:46

Definite yes from me! We are now pregnant, but we’ve always attended parties with friends and families kids.

But... "we" are not pregnant. Only women can be pregnant.

Meowandthen · 23/11/2023 20:19

Over tired toddlers running around at an adult party? That sounds dreadful.

When you have young children you sometimes have to forego certain things until, they are older. You made a choice and it’s just a few years.

LizHoney · 23/11/2023 20:21

Sounds really fun!

Direstraightsagain · 23/11/2023 20:21

Sounds fun. But I would definitely get a babysitter to be with the kids. You can pay over market odds as you’re splitting it so you will definitely get someone…

Elphamouche · 23/11/2023 20:25

Trommelgeroffel · 23/11/2023 20:19

But... "we" are not pregnant. Only women can be pregnant.

Show quote history

Oh fucking hell… they’re all out tonight 😂

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/11/2023 20:27

Sounds brilliant! We took DD to a party the year she was tiny, had a blast and we were home on the sofa before midnight but happy to have been dolled up and out for a few hours.

Invite everyone and see who’s up for it. Your childfree friends know your own baby will be there so if they’re anti baby they’ll count themselves out anyway.

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/11/2023 20:28

DrJump · 23/11/2023 02:29

I'd invite the babies. We regularly go to new year's parties with kids/babies. It's fun.

@DrJump

is it really

Worried234 · 23/11/2023 20:29

Same, and I have 3 of my own.

Trommelgeroffel · 23/11/2023 20:30

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 23/11/2023 14:58

Same! NYE used to be the one adult night of the year. No more 🙄

Show quote history

How far back are you thinking? I was a child in the 70s and one of my mum's brothers had a NYE party every year. I absolutely loved it because it was the only time I ever saw my cousins (my family are not one of those who all live within a five-minute walk of one another) and it was the highlight of my year - loads of children from baby onwards who had a ball while the adults got on with it.

Sadly my DC have very few cousins so I replicated this with friends instead when mine were younger. So long as one adult in every family is not drinking (because they all have to drive themselves home due to where we live), there's always one adult per family who is stone cold sober and can deal with their DC if need be.

emziecy · 23/11/2023 20:31

quackadoodledooo · 23/11/2023 02:08

Traditionally DH and I host a NYE party have been for 8 years now, we love it. Before now kids weren’t an issue, none of our close friends had any, but in the last 2 years there has been a baby boom (we are all 31-35 now so makes sense). We are included in the boom and have a 7 month old.
Today the question of “are kids invited to NYE” was asked - and well I don’t know!!
The kids are between 3/4 months and 18 months, and I’m half thinking we should say no? Who wants a load of tiny kids at a party (8 of them to be exact). Other half of me is thinking more the merrier - our son will be there so why not everyone else!! We have a 4 bed so was thinking sons nursery and the guest room could be set up with travel cots (BYOC instead of BYOB lol), and act as our baby party, I’m sure the ones who have little tiny babies who don’t sleep in their own rooms yet could use slings or something. DH reckons he could set up a baby watch system where we can see them all on baby monitors.
Now is this ludicrous? 16 people there will have babies of the invite list of about 50 (we do a gazebo in the garden to make everyone fit) so it will be noticed if all the parents are left at home. We are also inviting some colleagues so there will be kids of around 4/6 there too. I like the idea that all these babies will grow up and be friends and we will continue to see them all the annual party so why not start now, surely the chaos years will be when we have 8 toddlers running around overtired and not sweet little babas? (maybe we can get a snap of them
all each year to embarrass them with on the year they all turn 18 and can drink haha).

AIBU to think this could work or do we say no babies pls we’d like to retain some sanity going into the new year?

Do it! My kids are much older now but when they were little this was my (single parent no dad/family support) social life - taking in turns with friends and neighbours to host and all the babies/kids came too. If it doesn't work for you then don't do it again but I loved it! Extremely fond memories 😊

Trommelgeroffel · 23/11/2023 20:31

Elphamouche · 23/11/2023 20:25

Oh fucking hell… they’re all out tonight 😂

Show quote history

But it's true 🤷‍♀️

Unless you are telling me that men can be pregnant, in which case I'll eat every hat that I possess.

Illbebythesea · 23/11/2023 20:33

If in your head all these babies are snoozing blissfully in the other room with monitor whilst the parents chat over a glass of wine - YABU.

If in your head at least one (likely more) baby is crying because they’re over tired/over stimulated and you all grab snippets of conversation between parenting & you’re willing to embrace the chaos - YANBU.

All about expectations here.