Help me let it go

[Rosyleigh]

I've just found out that 10 years ago when I divorced my controlling, mentally abusive ex, my own sister was slating me to all my family (who clearly let her without sticking up for me) saying exH left because I didn't keep house well enough and the poor man came home to mess ( he didn't - the house was perfectly normal for a family with two young kids (5 & 7) and a husband who did sweet FA to help). Honestly the house really wasn't that bad. He actually left because he was shagging someone at work and was a shit father and husband and I'd had enough.
DSis who lives in an (old fashioned) country had actually had no idea what the situation was for me during my marriage, given the snapshot she saw on her brief and infrequent visits to this country, the fact she sided with my ex makes me feel so sad, let down and unsupported and quite frankly stabbed in the back by her and all my family who listened to her. Female misogyny feels like a double whammy, especially coming from your own family.
Can I have some coping strategies of how to get this hurt out of my head? I'd rather not have to confront her as it was so long ago and in my family confrontation never ends well, but I would like some theories on how to deal with this kind of mistreatment from afar - for the sake of my own MH

I wouldn't even give something from 10 years ago the time of day. Fuck her, and her lies. I'd just keep her at arms length.

Thank you @ScattieHattie1 you are completely right, Fuck her and keep at arms length is good advice

If you don’t want to confront her and have your say, you really do need to let it go. The time to have said something, and defended yourself, was 10 years ago.
Have you spoken to the wider family about it?

@DustyLee123 she’s just found out tho

Definitely arms length. And when/if she asks why you’re a bit cold with her, I’d tell her. Doesn’t matter if it was 10 years ago if you’ve only just found out about her disloyalty. How did you find out btw?

@Ahwhatthehell one of the family told me (they don't speak to her now)
I'm sick of my family, it's so toxic- lots of bitching, not speaking to one another, rivalry, vengeance and resentment- yet no one confronts anyone, it's all bubbling under the surface and rears its head through passive aggression and gossiping. I try to keep on everyone's good side only to find out I've been betrayed all the same.

Do not let them change you as a person.

You are a better person. You know the truth.

Do not waste your precious energy giving any thought to them whatsoever.

It does not matter if everyone in the entire town you live in was told these lies and believes them. It is the person who will not automatically believe things unless they are told them 'from the horse's mouth' that is worth your time.

thank you @nosensedress, thats so kind. You know, even if it had been true about the drivel about the untidy house, it would still be the fact that she was empathising with my abusive ex that really cuts deep. Makes a complete mockery of the term 'sisterhood'