What would have got you disowned in the 40s/50s/60s/70s

[Libertyy]

This is more for the older members but the younger ones can definitely comment if their experiences were similar

So I was speaking to one of my residents and she confessed to me that she was disowned by her family because she wore a pair of jeans and it was unlady like, another was disowned for wanting to marry a Jewish man, another elderly lady I spoke to because she chose to date and later marry a guy she met at a coffee shop rather than her father’s friend’s son who worked in America and had a bit of money. It’s crazy the things we take for granted today

Is this something that was common place at the time?

I was frowned upon by Christian family members for being a non-believer. This was in the 1990s. It took until the 2000s before the stigma went away for being athiest, but then I got bullied at work instead for being athiest, and again that was Christians. So that was 1990s and 2000s!

I never heard of this with anyone else so I'm glad (kind of) that it wasn't just me.

As a Christian myself I'm horrified and angry you were treated that way by those who claim the name of Christ. I'm so sorry. That's not the way Jesus intended it to be.

I remember my mum saying to me when I was a teen in the late 70s/early 80s if I got pregnant I would be thrown out of the house. It never happened and I don't believe she would actually have done it. I also remember when my sister moved in with her boyfriend in the early 80s my Grandma said she was 'shop soiled goods'. I adored my Grandma but was so upset when she said that. Ironically, we did a bit of family history after she died and found out she was pregnant when she got married in 1930.

My mum said "he'll leave you barefoot & pregnant" when I went on holiday with my boyfriend at 19.

A friend of mine was told she'd "ruined her wedding night" when moving in with her boyfriend.

My dad used to say "if you marry a black Irish catholic called Sean, I'll disown you" jokingly, but not.

I'm pretty sure my uncle was gay (lived in Brighton with another man) but it was never acknowledged.

I'm 51.

I've a feeling this was all based on the type of family you were from, still true today.
Now I'm older, I realise that both my maternal grandmother (born in the 20s) and my mum (born in the 40s) were both already pregnant when they married. My mum was pregnant in the late 60s, her dad actually said to her she didn't have to get married if she didn't want to and that she and the baby would be looked after, but she did marry my dad, thankfully.
I couldnt imagine anybody in my family ever being disowned for anything lawful, especially not females for doing anything deemed unladylike. The girls have been taught to drive and have a car at 17, when women drivers weren't as common. This feminism, goes right back to my great grandparents, who were born around 1900. But then we're a Liverpool family, scouse women don't take any messing!

Oh no London 1990s, it was quite common for 16/17 year olds to be chucked out if pregnant and even witnessed a woman see her grandchild for the first time and completely refuse to acknowledge her. That would be seen as awful nowadays but were quite different times.

No sex before marriage has always been a fairly upper/middle class thing, where inheritances and titles are involved then the man in the relationship wants to be absolutely certain that the heirs are actually his. For the lower classes, and especially the urban poor, sex before marriage wasn't that big of a deal provided that it didn't result in pregnancy and marriage was a likely prospect (especially if pregnancy did occur). Records show that at one point around a quarter of brides were already pregnant at the point of marriage, my own great grandparents had their first baby just two months after their wedding. Common-law marriage was also fairly common in certain demographics, it had no legal standing in England but legal marriages cost money so people who didn't have much would just count themselves as married.

A couple of other things I think, in the 40s I think people were ostracised or disowned for being pacifists, also during strikes those families who crossed picket lines were ostracised and within families I think some were disowned

Thanks. I realised my post was written in a way that I was bashing believers, so apologies, as I know the large majority of any cohort are good people.

My nan grew up in toxteth so this must have been the 20's.

She wasn't an intolerant bigot and had lots of Chinese friends (big community), my mum was born in the 40s and couldn't give a shiny shite if we would have been gay/dated a person of colour/got pregnant outside of marriage etc.

It depends who and how you were raised.

There are people now who would disown their kids for something they are intolerant of and it's 2023.

Some people, regardless of the era, are just twats 🤷

For being gay. I came out in 2018 (although I'd been out to friends from day 1) and it didn't go too well even then.

I also got pregnant very young and aborted, so probably that.

I am a white woman who would have been disowned for having a relationship with someone with a different skin colour.

I now have three black grandchildren. It's great that times have changed!

I was 22 though!

My 12yo DDs birth was celebrated as being the first of the new generation by some older members of the family. She has two older cousins, who were born "out of wedlock" so don't count apparently.

My mum was temporarily disowned for marrying a non-catholic. None of her large family went to the wedding. This was 1969 in England to Irish family. They reconsidered once they wanted her to care for elderly parents.

My nephew thought his grandparents would disown him for being gay (c. 2010). He finally came out this year when he got married: the grandparents (a) had worked it out themselves and (b) were just delighted that he had found someone to share his life with. They are around 90, so it's never too late.