DS school Sen battles

[puttingtheheatingon]

DS did his first full day at school today after 2 weeks on half days (he is in reception). He had a few explosive meltdowns and school insisted I collected him half days for a couple of weeks to help him ‘reset’. I agreed as he was getting nothing out of school when he was so dysregulated.

I can tell class teachers don’t want him there full time, as they have lots of Sen children in the class and not much support. His ehcp doesn’t stipulate that he needs a one to one. I disagree as he thrives so much more when he is guided. He is very bright. A quick learner. Just struggles to deal with socialising. Plays lovely with a small group of NT friends he has made. When other children push past him/touch him he gets anxious and tearful. Sometimes it leads to a meltdown, he has pushed children when having a meltdown. He understands this is wrong and is trying to find better strategies to deal with feeling overwhelmed. He is genuinely so kind, loving and sweet at home. He is a fantastic brother.

Today I am told the staff heard a scream and DS and another boy are on the floor together in an altercation. None of them saw what lead to this and school tells us the other boy said he was ‘just walking past DS’ and he went at him. Honestly this sounds really unlikely. I’ve asked DS and he said the other boy keeps pushing him. School says they never see this. He obviously needs watching more and more support but their answer is to exclude him from the classroom and place him with a high needs child who has a 1 to 1. I’ve been in to see him in this room and he’s usually colouring at a table while the other child is throwing things and is extremely distressed. Two members of staff are usually restraining the other child and trying to stop him from hurting himself. I don’t believe he is going to learn anything in there.

It feels like the school don’t know what to do with my DS so have given up and just keep popping him in this ‘calm down room’, even when he doesn’t need to calm down. He just needs more support in the classroom. I sometimes get mixed feedback from school. One member of staff will tell me he has had a good day whilst another will say it’s been a bad day. I think they just pay very little attention.

I have a meeting with the headteacher this week. Can I demand they top up his funding and provide him with a 1 to 1? Even if I have to take him in half days til the end of the academic year. I will as long as they do something their end and make the classroom more inclusive.

please be kind. Advice from those who understand Sen. signed a very exhausted mum.

You need to ask for a review of the EHCP.
If you can afford it get an independent ed psych report.
They can and will say probably that he needs 1.1. They need to say that he needs full time 1.1 including playtimes.
You can then ask for this provision to be put into the EHCP. If they don't do this, you then go to sendist tribunal.

The problem is that this all takes ages. You should still do it but will in the meantime need to work with the school to keep him there.
I think it's also important to recognise that your ds at home is going to be very different to your ds in a busy classroom or playground where it is noisy and difficult to regulate. I have children with asd. DD at home is no trouble really whilst she can be challenging at school.

SEN support at most schools is diabolical.
We are now paying private school fees to enable our SENDs child to get an education. Many state schools have too many kids and not enough money to do anything more than childcare for SENDs kids unfortunately. Most private schools are almost as bad, but there are some that show it is possible!

Be careful with SENDIASS, some are good but too many repeat the LA’s unlawful policies. Look at IPSEA and SOSSEN instead.

I also agree with this. I wouldn't touch ours with barge pole. Useless.

Our close friend is a headteacher at another school and told us there is an almost always a pot of funding to top up ehcp funding. That school is going to be very reluctant to do so though.

Maybe there was once, but schools have seen their budgets cut year on year for the last decade and their utility bills skyrocket. The cost of all our essential equipment and resources has gone up. Staff have been awarded pay rises (and rightly so) that we recieved no additional funds for. We certainly don't have a pot of money to top up EHCP funding, and I find it hard to believe other schools "almost always" do in the current financial climate.

You need to ask what exactly your DS's funding is being spent on. In our LA it is extremely rare for an EHCP to specify that a child's needs a 1:1, unless they have physical disabilities that mean they need a high level of personal care. But even if a child's EHCP doesn't specify they need 1:1 that is often what we use their EHCP funding for, as we know the other provision specified in the plan won't be able to happen without that increased staffing. If we couldn't pay for additional TA support out of the child's EHCP but they couldn't cope in school without it, then we would be requesting an early Annual Review and telling the LA we can't meet the child's needs with their current plan. We have successfully negotiated an increase in funding in similar circumstances.

I don’t have advice to offer, but I want to thank you! You obviously really love your son and can see he’s being treated unfairly and scapegoated by an overwhelmed system. Whatever happens, knowing you have his back will be one of the biggest things in his life <3

I think it might depend on whether he is statutory school age if this is an illegal exclusion or not.

If he's below statutory school age, then I don't think it is, but I'm very happy to be corrected.

The OP absolutely needs to seek an early, emergency EHCP review though as her child's needs are not being met. He sounds completely overwhelmed.

It is still an unlawful, informal exclusion. The exclusion and suspension guidance applies to school pupils below CSA. The admissions code also makes it clear DC are entitled to attend full time from the September after their 4th birthday. Although parents can choose to send them part time until CSA, or defer until CSA or the start of the summer term, whichever is earlier.

@BlueBrick thank you for your clarification. I've learned something new.

The biggest issue is that schools are required to meet the first 6k of SEN/EHCP funding per child from their own budgets but are not given money ring fenced for this.

So school 1 might have

• 4 children per class with SEN
• pupil premium money so higher funding generally
• less experienced amd cheaper teaching staff

And may be able to fund some TA hours etc

School 2 may have more kids with SEN, more expensive teachers, little/no pupil premium cash. Maybe they are also in an older building thats expensive to heat.

These are the schools running out of loo roll amd asking parents to buy pritt sticks.

Where do you think they get the money for a 1 to 1 for your child from?

You need to get the EHCP reviewed & adjusted, its the only way.

LA’s say schools must fund the first £6k of EHCP provision, but if written correctly (which can take an appeal) EHCPs can be fully funded. LAs won’t do so unless forced, but ultimately, it is the LA who is responsible for ensuring SEP detailed, specified and quantified in F is provided.

Never keep your children in a place that is making them unhappy or is failing them. It should never be a battle.
@Fionaville this is so true. I wholeheartedly agree with your post. My autistic DD is only 5 but we have been struggling through the system since nursery & after she burnt out in year 1 we have stopped sending her in to school. Getting her in to school involved kicking, screaming, hiding, taking off her clothes, running away etc & still school were insisting that everything would be ok if we just got her in on time (we were spending hours each morning trying to coax her in). It constantly felt like we were being forced to bend her in to shape that wasn’t natural for her & the school weren’t listening to us.
I’m sorry you are having difficulties OP & I know not everyone is able to home educate but right now I have lost faith in the education system providing adequately for my daughter. We have been accepted for an EHCP assessment but the whole process takes so long, it’s a nightmare really. Mumsnet has been a lifeline for me as there is a lot of SEN knowledge & being a SEN parent can be a lonely experience in the real world. I hope you can get more support for your son.